i would now like to meet someone and ...

[mrsmortenharket]

.. am fed up of meeting timewasters, dregs, etc surely there must be someone out there for me????????????

it doesn't sound like you are unfriendly, just that you like your privacy

well i met someone and yes he was a one track mind(er)

i have to say, after 11 years with someone, split in nov. i am no where near even thinking about meeting someone else. i need a couple of years AFTER the divorce at least before i will begin to see the real me reappear as i was prior to the 11 years. also i want to take time with my children all very young (3 of them) and i certainly don't intend on any long term relationships until im 100 % sure. i'd be worried about online dating stuff as i know (from personal experience - husband was at it and meeting women lying about his family circumstances while we were trying for more babies! yes. in other words id be worried id meet one of the weirdos who was a liar and cheat yet very sincere sounding, charming, convincing etc. how would you know! might just stay single and let nature take its course.

ELOB I think what you have been through is truly horrendous and beyond what most of us on here have or could ever imagine.
I can only speak from my own experience of course but I have found that alot of people 30/40+ use the dating sites as they have found themselves single after longterm marriages/relationships.They often don't have the opportunity to go out and meet others as the majority of their friends are married or in relationships themselves or they have demanding lives/careers which gives them very little free time to socialise.
I too was sceptical about them until I tried and yes there are alot of horrid men out there,but as a friend who's also done it said to me..
How do you know some guy you meet in a bar is telling you the whole truth?