hello i am a bit pissed, but a bit lonely too

[piratecat]

pirate here. it's weird as i havent had any appetite for 2 days. is it some sort of self destruct i wonder?

I normally eat when i am hungry, am a bit overweight, and always think oh i should eat less but i eat like i siad a normal diet. It's unusual to be 2 days in and thiniking 'i don't feel hungry'.

anyway, rambling on, have had a few changing days with the ex, and he has actually been quite nice to me. don't you hate that, it makes me feel like i miss him, then again it worries me, like i think what is he up too??

dd is seeinghim again 2morro, with his wife too, he sprung that on dd last week, without telling me. anyhow, last night he was on the phone to me, being affable, and kind of normal.

i miss him when he is nice, iyswim. no, me neither.

wien is my mate 2 night, i think i have to let it out, this upset.

i am being a bad parent. dd is downstairs watching johnny depp in Charlie and the choc factory. i am up here trying to have some adult chat time.

sometimes i htink i leav eher down there too long.
then i feel guilty. but i don't go out, and here is my social life atm.

You are not being a bad parent at all. I often chuck the kids in the other room with a dvd so I can have some time on here.

Not sure what to say about your ex tbh. It is ok to mis the nice things about him you know.

My god. How much have you drunk?
You are rambling. But do carry on.

oh pirate (((((()))))
these nights are the worst arent they - usually on a friday night, we would have shared a bottle of wine
I know what you mean about missing them when they are nice, but can you remember all the shit too? I sure can with mine!
dont feel guilty - being a single parent isnt easy. you are entitled to some adult time

i ahve only had two glasses of wine, but i havnet eaten. I think i have bee so dwon and stressedout that i am sort of offloading. The god thing about mumsent here, is that i can i suppose!!!
its hard being a lone parent sometimes, and being able to just blab what you feel like blabing, as you would do to a spouse.

TBh i think i am having a min breakdown, wine or not. I hope it will pass, i am not being alarmist, i know thru exp that sometimes something has to 'give, for you to move forwards.

there are a fair few of us LPs with only a bottle of wine for company tonight, your dd is fine, she is watching a movie

i just have this feeling tonight that things are changing, which they are. ex dh has been off the scene for abot a yr, now he's back. So i have to re adjust. Have been to the counsellor today (dd's counsellor) alone to update her, and found that refreshing, as i do like to have my feelings validated. Sometimes your ex can just say/do things that end up confusing you so much and have you questioning yourslef. This is very annoying and self defeating when you 'know' you have been doing a great job.

Have something to eat, you will feel better.
I am on 2nd day of my diet, almost flaked out today, as was so busy and low blood sugar. Not fun. I hope that today I have lost 2 stone!!!

Yeah Right!

lol, i am feling a tad hungry now actually, it's just so unlike me not to eat regularly. ok will eat something. hope your diet goes well. i have been thinking it would be good to lose a few lbs, so i can eat at xmas!!!

I have gained 3 stone since I gave up smoking last year, must get rid of it.
Hope you are ok Pirate.

I wish I could be a bit less hungry, I eat like a pig.

I love having 2 glasses of wine and a bag of crisps for dinner!

Unfortunately I don't have any wine. Is ugly betty back on channel four tonight?

apropos de nothing in particular??

ps, my 2 are stuck in max and ruby on tv. their little heads 2 feet from the screen.

Awwwww! (ey?? )

How are you this morning pc ??

i am ok, ib, thanks. apart from a tad embarrassed. I think had i been on my own last night without dd i would have gone out to the pub and let off some steam.

something had to give there for a while!

onwards hey. x

Don't be embarrased, i have a mini melt down weekly on here

ok, i will try to forget it, i should have popped it in chat. it's a bugger whenyou want your posts to die, but have to answer the nice people who reply isn't it!!!

Ooops sorry, will let it die now then.

s'ok !!!
oops now i've done it too!!

his behavior change might be due to his remembering good things about you, too.
but this cant change the whole thing i guess.