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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I'm pregnant

18 replies

mypandasgotcrabs · 13/09/2008 10:52

I'm crying my fucking eyes out. Have always been careful. One batch of condoms we had were bad & kept splitting, thought we were ok with some, but I still got the MAP anyway just to be on the safe side. Well seems we mus have missed one that split & MAP hasn't worked.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sarah293 · 13/09/2008 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Fluffybubble · 13/09/2008 10:57

Am sorry . Are you in a stable relationship with your dp? What does he think? Don't panic...do you know how far along you could be? Again, don't panic....

VinegarTits · 13/09/2008 10:57

I'm guessing this is not good news if you are so upset, your probably in shock, this happened to me with ds2, it was a total shock, hope your ok?

Original poster

mypandasgotcrabs · 13/09/2008 11:14

I've just been on the phone to one of my friends. Have calmed down a bit! I've only been seeing the guy for a month, not even made any agreement to be boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm just under 5 weeks. I can't have another baby, I'm going back to uni next year. Just getting my life back on track after xp. What's got me the most is that I haven't been stupid. I've been careful all the time.

OP posts:

Fluffybubble · 13/09/2008 11:20

Deep breath...can you go and see your friend for a coffee? If you are only five weeks then you have options open to you. You have time to think this through, when you've had a chance to take it all in. Try not to panic (if possible!).

I guess that whichever route you choose to take you do have choices, however hard they may be. Uni may still be possible with a baby, if that's what you decide. You have lots of time to think things over. Maybe you can pop to the doctor on Monday to confirm things and maybe get some advice?

You haven't been stupid at all, these things happen, despite our best efforts .

SpookyMadMummy · 13/09/2008 11:32

I would definitely get some counselling from an impartial pregnancy advisory service too.

lulumama · 13/09/2008 11:34

agree with spooky. you need impartial advice ASAP. you need to make some important decisions. there is help out there. sorry you are in this situation. no contraception is 100 % , you did everything you could..

lochlanfaidesmummy · 13/09/2008 11:42

i so feel for you right now, i was in the exact same situation seeing a guy casually and being ever so careful. going to uni now and enrolling for next year. getting my life back on track after 4 years in a bad relationship.

definatley go get some counselling and talk about your options with your doctor.

this could be a make or break decision either way. know all your options before deciding.
do you have any other children?

Original poster

mypandasgotcrabs · 13/09/2008 12:02

Thank you everyone. I'm going to pop into work after I've been to the football & see my boss, let her know I won't be in on Monday. I take it they'll have counsellors etc at the FPC? Or they'll be able to advise me where to go? My old gp was lovely, would have been able to go and have a good old chat with her, but unfortunately I moved out of their area a few months ago. Yes, I have 2 boys, ds1 nearly 7 & ds2 is 2. I swear LO's must sense something. ds2 told me last week he wants a baby!

OP posts:

Fluffybubble · 13/09/2008 15:29

Am sure that if they can't offer counselling themselves they will be able to refer you on (to someone neutral, iykwim).

Good luck for Monday, try not to stress too much! Maybe your ds2 would like a teddy/doll/comic instead???!!!

twoboys1384 · 14/09/2008 21:51

I'm almost 26weeks pregnant and mum to a 22month old.
My partner and i had problems last year but he swore it was just cold feet and that he'd been really stupid, by suggesting us break up....blah blah blah!
So things got alot better, he wanted to try for another baby which was fine, as i wanted my children reasonably close together.
Now though he wants out, one minute he wants to just live seperatly but still be an item as he wanted space.
Then now apparently he has no fight left and just wants us to seperate.
I know it might be for the best but still kind of hope he'll change his mind....as i love him and don't think things are half as bad as he says!
Meanwhile i can't stop crying and don't know what to do, i told him that i think its best he moves out today but really don't want him to.
I just can't share a house with him as by him being here it makes me think that there is still hope when he cuddles up or suggests a film etc.
I don't know how i'm going to cope though as i know my family will automatically hate him for leaving, especially whilst i'm pregnant and suffering with a painful hernia.
I just kind of want them all to get along so that if he decides to come back to me, we won't have that to deal with....How will i tell them and what shall i do?
Can anyone offer advice????

Fluffybubble · 15/09/2008 11:47

Hope you get on okay today panda...

two boys, am sorry that this is happening to you. If you post a new thread then you may get some more responses (you are hidden away here ).

Original poster

mypandasgotcrabs · 15/09/2008 20:20

Thanks fluffybubble, unfortunately they only do drop ins for birth control & sexual health, so I'm left waiting until next Tuesday before I can see anyone. Even rang around for private appointment, but even then Monday was the earliest I could be seen. So unfortunately I've got a week to stew until I can get things moving (that is of course if I haven't got too attached to this baby by then)

twoboys, sorry you're going through this adn unfortunately can't offer any advice, but agree with fluffy, try starting a new thread, a lot of people will only read the OP, so may not see your post. Good luck.

OP posts:

Fluffybubble · 16/09/2008 11:46

Am sorry panda . Nothing is simple is it??!! Would you be able to get an appointment with your GP before then? Have you told your dp? Is he being supportive?

bethoo · 16/09/2008 11:54

panda sorry to hear about yuor predicament, i am sure you already have an idea as to what you are ging to do and youi have a good network of friends for support whatever yuor decision. take care

twoboys i am 37 weeks pregnant with an 18 month ds and no longer with dp as he said he wanted family life yet we were never a priority, he would rather be at his mates house smoking weed and not once has he contributed towards our ds. i finally realised what a wanker user etc he was and called it a day. it will be hard esp with a second baby but not as hard as caring for him too! he now lives with his mother who is no help at all as she still treats him like a teen. but yuo will become strong and yu will find a way to cope, as you have to. it will be hard but it will be worth it. for all it matters it sounds as though your dp wanted his cake and eat it (something like that!!). you need someone who is 100% committed and like my dp he is not. you will meet someone who deserves you.

Original poster

mypandasgotcrabs · 17/09/2008 19:40

I did try to go through my gp, I spoke to her on the phone as she didn't have any emergency appts, but she said at such an early stage there's nothing she can do to speed it up, basically she would only do what I have done, so it gains nothing.

I'm handling it alright the last couple of days. I'm my usual self mostly, still don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm not letting it get me down atm.

OP posts:

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 17/09/2008 19:46

have you told the man (will call him that for now) the situation?

other posters are right you could well go to uni as well - but ultimately this is your choice.

is the man someone who you would like to be in your life for the rest of it? - well you knwo the score with partners/dads etc.

lots of questions to find answers to and none of them easy - not one I envy. you know we'll all be here what ever you decide, and won't judge.

(oh btw re ds 2 - say he can't have a baby, but he can have some goldfishies! - or get him a boy dolly!?!)

Original poster

mypandasgotcrabs · 17/09/2008 20:28

No, haven't told him about the pregnancy. I've got tons of time until I have to make an absolute final decision, so I think I'm going to suss out if things are going to go any further anyway before I dedcide whether I say anything to him.

Yes, I do like him, and would like to have more than just the casual relationship that we have right now, but don't want to rush into anything serious too quickly, obviously if I do decide to have the baby, and he does decide to stick around, that's impossible. My main concern now that I'm thinking straihgt is that the impact on my boys is going to be massive. Any man that comes into my life I want to ease him intot he boys lives, I won't be able to do that if we do get together because of this pregnancy. That sounds a bit garbled when I read it back, but hopefully you know what I mean!

OP posts:

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