Asking for help

[MUMDONEGOOD]

Feel a bit alone at the moment. No-one to support me so wrote to ex partners mother for help with DD. She wants to meet on Thursday. Called her granddaughter the wrong name should I forget his family. My family give me the impression they are always expecting me to fail which doesn't help my confidence. Cant face them anymore. Is it possible to do everything on your own? Feeling really alone and dejected.

Where are you?

I raised ds by myself. It's really hard. I can't remember his first couple of years because I was so exhausted. Do you have some friends that can help you?
I know that social services run a scheme which supports families like you. There's no harm in contacting them. I'd have doen it if it was availiable when ds was small. There's no point in suffering.

If gran wants to help then let her. I remember crying on the phone to ds's dad because I was so tired and needed some help. He always promised he would but he never did. Don't let yourself get lower.

I feel so stupid Avenalife, DD is eight years old but I'm finding it really hard. She is an extrovert like her dad and I'm not. I have been on my own for near on seven years but ex has always been around to talk to. Can't talk to him anymore and now feel completely lost. Can't even show my feelings to anyone, just keep crying at home which DD sometimes witnesseses, she thinks I am so weak.

She doesn't think that at all. She won't know how you are feeling.

have you been to see your GP? You do sound a bit depressed. Maybe he can help. Why can't you talk to your ex if he's been around before? ds is 9, I find it hard not having anyone to help me make decisions or back me up when I need it. I get so sick of being the one that does everything for him. When I tink of all I do and what his dad does (nothing) I feel so angry but this is my life. ds loves me and I love him. I'm giving him all the things he needs and I know that he's grateful for this.

Ex told me he was homeless in March so put him up until three weeks ago. He told me he was a bachelor and was staying with a male friend. Turned out he was living with his partner (a girl) which he thought wasn't working out, she went on holiday and when she came back three weeks ago they decided to make another go of it. He never told me all this, I found out by emails that were sent. They even had a storage place together which he told me was with his male friend. From the three weeks she was back he began acting really strangely and not helping around the house. Before this he was acting like we were a family again. He sent her a card saying how life was so easy with her, it has just broken me. I thought I was over him but I don't think I am. Can't talk to him because I am so stupid and threw him out there and then.

There's nothing that you can do about this now, it's time to focus on you and your child. You need to go to the doctor so that he can help you. When someone you care about treats you this way then it's bound to make you feel low and unwanted. It's not your fault. It takes time to recover from a betrayal like this. You're still grieving for the relationship that you thought you had and it really does take time.
Do you not have any family around?

Not really. I cant face them. They dont have any confidence in me, they wait for something to go wrong then they say told you so. Although I'm 40 they treat me like I'm nine myself. I don't blame them really all the choices I have made in my life havent been good.

Families are supposto be there for you whether you have made the right choices or not. You can't change the things that have happened but you can change the things that will happen. It's sad that you feel that they think this of you. It can't give you much confidence about yourself and your abilities. I really would go and see the GP and ask for some counselling.

Why do you feel like you can't cope with dd?