Hello,
firstly thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this, I’ll try to make it as short as possible!
i have a 2.8 year old who I am pretty much a single mum to. Her dad has her one day a week while I’m in the office. Other than that it’s here and there and minimal. I get no financial help from him.
my daughter is with me 24/7 other than 2/3 days a week that I must physically be in the office.
ive been separated from her dad over two years. I recently had a slip up and slept with him. It was more a hormonal thing and I do not want to be with him, he’s sadly quite useless. After the slip up I checked my period app and it said I was not in fertile phase so I stupidly did not take a morning after pill and here I am pregnant.
my immediate thought was I can’t do this and I booked an appointment for termination pill, I got the pills Monday and have been putting off taking them.
I have a fairly easy going kid but with a lot of energy and I already feel a bit stretched thin - I have no family.
i also had a bag pregnancy, I had HG so I threw up constantly until about 7.5 months pregnant and also had a difficult delivery and ended up with PPA. so this also scares me to do it again.
the past week my daughter has been ill and I’ve been pregnancy ill and I have noticed my patience has been non existent to things that don’t even usually bother me like her climbing on me and it’s made me snappy and I feel awful for that, but I somewhat imagine that’s how I’d be with a toddler and new born as a single mum.
I feel conflicted for so many reasons, I feel guilty about getting a termination. I’m 38 so this is could be my last chance, I feel guilty about her never having a sibling bond, I’m an only child myself. I do think they’d have a nice enough age gap to play together and be close. but everyone I know with two kids says how hard it is and they have a partner and family support. I don’t want to be a burnt out snappy mother. Me and my daughter are so close I also worry about breaking that 1 on 1 bond.
I also worry what if I get a difficult second child, and end up not coping or having a favourite
there’s so many things swirling around in my head I’m so confused