How does anyone enjoy this?

[Riced]

Lone parenting? How do people actually enjoy this, i wake up with a sense of dread every day. What is there to enjoy?

What is it you’re dreading exactly? How old are the children? It will probably very much depend on your situation. Being a lone parent is always challenging and stressful but many people find joy in their children.

Just starting the whole day up again. Just another day of parenting alone.

Ime their df was an utter spineless twat and raising them alone has been bloody fab...
Being the main influence on your dc can be a positive thing imo.

Not for me, I hold a lot of resentment towards their father for leaving me to raise them alone.

It's sheer misery isn't it! Sometimes I think 18 years in prison would be easier; much more free time and if my cell mates were shouting all the time and hitting me and each other at least I wouldn't be required to wipe their bums.

Reach out for some support, otherwise you'll all just have a miserable time and end up resending each other

Agree with pp about reaching out for help - whether it's friends, family or GP - find other lone parents and team up so you each get a break while the others look after the kids.

If you have unresolved issues alongside parenting it will be much harder to appreciate the good times. Get some therapy and work through the baggage.

From who? I don’t have any family that would help and friends don’t want to look after my kids either, im not taking pills im not crazy just exhausted.

You don't have to take pills but there might be other things going on. When we have kids they give us nitrous oxide which depletes B12 (using gas and air) and many women are deficient and anemic without realising it post-partum. A GP can do a simple blood test to rule that out - can also make you hormonal, angry, depressed - I think loads of women are wrongly on SSRIs instead of checking B12 personally.

As a lone parent my other lone parent friends were invaluable. Once you have your energy back making friends with them will be easier.

I know lots of single parents they are just not lone parents, fathers are involved and they don’t want or need to swap babysitting favours. My kids are older so I’m not post-partum

I’m a lone parent - as in I do this alone 24/7 and have done for 10 years pretty much. As the boys have got older it’s got easier. When they were 3&4 I was at absolute breaking point! Then one day I decided I needed to suck it up and try harder and embrace it - sounds bizarre but I changed my mindset from feeling hard done by to this is life let’s do this. That changed everything for me, year on year things got easier and we are now a well oiled machine! I now have other lone parent friends and we all support each other, it’s the only way. Find your people and support each other, it’s really important that you/they have one another to share the tough times.

Thanks but mine are older (teens) and I find it much worse now was better when they were little. I know single parents but we have very different lives they are not lone parents and actually get a lot of time to themselves very hard to find fully lone parents in my experience.

Is it the parenting alone that is hard or more the resentment? I also parent fully alone aside from maybe 20-30 hours A YEAR when their ''father' takes them. This is spread out of the year too not in one overnight stay - he lives about 15 mins away he is just useless. It has been this way since the youngest was born and they are all teens also. I like now that I have more freedom but when they were younger it was stiffling. I have no family around either.

Both tbh, I feel resentful that he’s walked away without any consequences as if they don’t even exist, can’t even get maintenance from him so he can full pretend they don’t exist. But I also just generally find parenting alone tough being the only one.

Is he unemployed or self employed? Why have you not gone through cms? Children are exhausting hut teens dont need 24 hour watching.

You need to build your life
keeo yourself busy
a routine
earn money on the side
go to the gym if you have childcare

Solo parenting teens is harder than toddlers in my experience. The plus side to it is you can leave them at home though.
It’s hard to find time for yourself but it’s also essential. Build up your social life, take care of your body and mind… it does kids good to have to muck in and be a bit self sufficient.

I don't want to hijack the OP but I so needed to read this as a lone parent to 3 & 4 year old boys!

How do you meet other lone parent friends though? All of my friends are married and I do get frustrated sometimes that nobody truly understands how exhausting and overwhelming it can be. Family aren't very interesting in helping me either.

To answer your question OP, I enjoy it by trying to focus on the positives and feeling grateful for everything I have and everything I've achieved since being on my own. Not saying I enjoy every moment or even every day, it's fucking relentless a lot of the time. But similar to PP I try to make a conscious decision to focus on the good things rather than letting the resentment take over or feeling hard done by.

He doesn’t work

No I cannot unfortunately leave them alone. They don’t like being left alone.

i Think they are quite clingy maybe due to me being a lone parent and them never going anywhere or being with anyone else they don’t like me going anywhere without them and get anxious

Do they go to school and do you work?

Awwww, this must be really tough.

I was a single parent and, while I enjoyed my children, being a single parent was very difficult indeed. I had some support from their DF though and also went out to work so that gave me a break.

x

I have an anxious teen too but they will never learn independence if you never leave them alone. Start small (pop to corner shop, then next time the supermarket, then treat yourself to a coffee in a cafe, etc).

Presumably they do get to school independently so do have a little independence, and could you just organise to be out for a short time when they get home from school?

Or any possibility of say a half day off work while they are at school to do something you’d like to do, even if it’s just going for a walk or to get your hair cut?

Once you get a bit of time to yourself, things will seem a bit easier.

Personally for me, the best thing I did was to let go of the anger and resentment at my ex. It was only hurting me.

That's not too day that's easy, but it helped a lot.