Can somebody help me write a letter of complaint?

[PurpleOne]

To cut a long story very short, there was an organised 'activity' youth thingy going on yesterday. Supply a packed lunch and the kids were being taken to Romford kidspace. They were due back at the park at 1.30 for a football match and cricket match.

DD2 got annoyed at something and stormed off out the park. (dd2 is 10). The leaders of the activity group just let her go, and NOBODY came after her. DD1 didn't even see her go as she was playing footie at the time. DD1 got back at 3pm and no sign of DD2 anywhere. (local park and she knows her way home but beside the point)
At 4.30pm I got a call from my estate agent saying that DD2 was in there so went to get her.
I've found out the leaders name and address and want to write her a strongly worded letter...also maybe cc my MP and local council in this too?

You just don't let a child walk off like that. It'd be like me sitting a mates kid and leaving the front door open...

I am furious!

I'm only compelled to post with at some of the posts in response to the OP.

LL - thats are really good letter.

I'd be furious too PurpleOne if my child was allowed to leave and they didn't contact me.

but foxy would you ALSO be angry at your daughter?

Absolutely! But there are two seperate issues here.

The OP left her child in their care. She effectively went missing. I think that is shocking.

No matter what, you just don't let a child go. Obviously you can't restrain physically so they should have contacted PO immediately.

The child's behaviour is for the PurpleOne to deal with, and one that if she wanted opinions on would have posted a different thread. Calling her DD 'spoilt' is just unnecessary and unhelpful.

thanks for clarification foxy.

I think some the fact no mention was made of appropriateness or other wise of the dds behaviour was what provoked some of the remarks and I agree some were overly harsh.
Name calling is never kind.

Way too harsh on Purpleone!

Must be nice being perfect.

Agree with Foxy:'Calling her DD 'spoilt' is just unnecessary and unhelpful.'

I'm glad you got some help from the less judgemental posters on your thread!

i wouldn't care if the child being looked after were 6, 10 or 14, they were meant to be looked after.

harsh on the OP, without reason or facts.

"fast and loose with our children's safety" = any school / child caring organisation that fails to employ the most basic of safety precautions regarding the chilren in their care. One of these basic precautions is checking who is actually entering the children's school. I really consider it totally unecessary to point out why.

Sad times I know but I would consider it foolish and potentially dangerous not to accept that this is the world we live in. Nobody's going to get hurt by a locked gate and a sensible secure entry system??

Jasper, yes I have punished her, and also when I calmed down, I sat her down and had a very quiet word with her. She is not going to Guide camp next weekend and she's not going to her friends sleepover either.

Except that exh has completely undermined anything I have said. . Everything is just a waste of time, what's the point in all this anyway? He doesn't give a shit anyway.
wooga, foxy and pc, I wholeheartedly agree.

Oh purpleone I see why you posted this on Lone parents thread ( loud " DUH!" to self...)

you sound on a real downer and I sincerley apologise if I made you feel worse.

bear with me but I have been thinking about you a lot and about parenting and modern life in general....

I have 3 kids (9,7,6), work only part time, have no financial worries, live in a nice house in a nice town, lots of good frinds, a fab extended family and a dh who does at least 50% o the domestic crap...

Basically I am very fortunate and thak God for this every day.
BUT>> and it is a big but.

thewhole thing , the whole bloody package is sp BLOODY EXHAUSTING! I feel I am treading water just to get out the door with clean hair and the kids fed and (reasonably) clean.

Anything extra that comes along... well I just don't have the time or energy for it.

Such as

Garage bill i am SURE I paid (cash) but can't prove

House needs painting

Garden needs weeding

Mortgage needs changed

Staff absences at work

Need to buy birthday card/present

catch a cold

some arsehole keys my car in the driveway

feel fat

argument with dh

DD leaves organised activity in a strop and wanders the streets in the rain

I CAN'T cope with anything extra!!!

I don't know how you do it as a single parent.
I am off at a wild tangent now but I do think it is relevant to your original post. Someting EXTRA can just tip you over the edge.But you can feel tipped over but you still have to carry on!

Not particularly constructive but had to express my empathy xxx

jasper, really no need to apologise.

Sometimes I put myself across all wrong, cos I'm so bloody frustrated. Wild tangents accepted

Just the 2 dcs here, in rented house, no car. In fact got a lot of fuck all. Functioning alcoholic, no job, struggling on benefits.
Believe me when I say it's really not worth me going back to work, won't be any better off. Exh pays stuff all. (£17 a week)
Don't talk to my parents anymore cos I only asked my mum not to smoke in my home and she swore at dd1...they've blanked me for 10 months now. No other family. My so called best mate pointed the finger cos I had saved hard for a trip to LA 18 months ago. She was jealous but we fell out over that.
There is really nobody.
House is a total tip and I have the flu. And struggling with 2 OU courses. £6,000 of debt to be paid.

Was also scared that when dd2 dissapeared, the fingers would be pointed at me in rl. That's why I'm a tad defensive really. It's just me cos I take a hell of a lot of blame in rl.

So, there you go. A little peice of my life. And it's fucking hard work.

Wanna swap? I'd kill for the mortgage, partner and car.

Purpleone I am almost at a loss for words.
What do you do to unwind/ escape?

Is it you or your ex who is the functioning alcoholic?
Does ex look afer the children some of the time?

ps you can have my partner. he pisses me off

Purpleone, I dont know why you got bashed. I dont think a ten year old should be allowed to walk off on their own. I admit, the only knowledge I have of ten year olds is my own ds but he is so young maybe for his age. He has no road sense...tbh not much common sense at all. They do think he has dyspraxia, ds lives in his own little world at times. Normal things terrify him and I never know what he's going to do next, quite honestly he's a danger to himself.

If he walked off alone i'd be terrified. He simply cannot look after himself, will do the daftest things.

Exactly like my dd2 shy.

She's ok with little things. I can send her to supermarket (no crossing of roads) to buy a few things.
But in her own world. Hell yeah!

Her ball / catching skills are awful, yet she's fine with buttons.
She hates the dark, she hates guinea pigs and dogs but I don't know why.

But crossing the road? My God! Doesn't look and just steps out whether green man or not.
Honestly, if she saw her own shadow, she would trip over it.
Young for age. Yes I agree too. Took her to park earlier and a 7 year old towered over her. She is so slight and small.

She may be ten, but she really doesn't look it at all. Often gets frustrated, loses temper cos she can't do certain stuff. She did once try to make me a cup of tea. Filled the kettle with water and prepared the cup. I came into kitchen filled with smoke and she had put kettle on the elec cooker to warm it Molten plastic everywhere.

And I think that's why she stormed off. Because they were playing football and cricket. She often says 'balls to balls', yet her balance on a bike or roller blades is perfect.

She knows her landline number off by heart, but being as she is, she wouldn't even think of calling it. She just wouldn't think of doing that.
Yet her skills of cracking a joke and having everyone in fits of laughter is impeccable

I am scared now, but I am dreading the teen years as she is so easily led and naive. I can't change her, it's just her personality.

"She knows her landline number off by heart, but being as she is, she wouldn't even think of calling it".

Yes, I get that. The kettle thing too. Its really hard for other people to grasp with my ds. He can reel off facts about history, dinosaurs and various science bits but ask him where his pants are? No chance. He could spend an hour looking for them despite the fact they are in the drawer, the same drawer they've been in since he was 3. Very hard to explain.

Totally get you.

Constantly losing stuff, or trying to find things and it's right in front of her.
Frequently forgets things. Especially important stuff like changing pants and doing poos.

But ask her anything about High school musical, Titanic and weather phenomenon...she will intrigue you for hours on end.

Even in the situation that happened on Wednesday...I make sure she is armed with house keys and a mobile phone, just in case. Haven't seen the keys nor the phone for weeks now. She puts stuff down and it grows legs and walks off.
I try to help her as much as I can to get her organised, but it just never happens. Lost homework, lost library books. Have tried rotas and 'mind mapping', sticker charts etc.

However my dd1 whose bedroom is a total shit tip, can put her hand on anything she needs.

But I totally get what your saying.