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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Can somebody help me write a letter of complaint?

90 replies

PurpleOne · 29/05/2008 23:24

To cut a long story very short, there was an organised 'activity' youth thingy going on yesterday. Supply a packed lunch and the kids were being taken to Romford kidspace. They were due back at the park at 1.30 for a football match and cricket match.

DD2 got annoyed at something and stormed off out the park. (dd2 is 10). The leaders of the activity group just let her go, and NOBODY came after her. DD1 didn't even see her go as she was playing footie at the time. DD1 got back at 3pm and no sign of DD2 anywhere. (local park and she knows her way home but beside the point)
At 4.30pm I got a call from my estate agent saying that DD2 was in there so went to get her.
I've found out the leaders name and address and want to write her a strongly worded letter...also maybe cc my MP and local council in this too?

You just don't let a child walk off like that. It'd be like me sitting a mates kid and leaving the front door open...

I am furious!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

stuffitllama · 29/05/2008 23:57

I think a middle line is important. The organisers may have been very worried. They should have had the numbers and made a call. But purple should accept that it's not good behaviour and makes life extremely difficult for the people running the activity.

WallOfSilence · 29/05/2008 23:57

I'm not having a go either. My dd is 6 & she knows never to be so cheeky to adults, especially adults who are not her parents!!

If my dd did this it would be the last time she ever did it!

soapbox · 29/05/2008 23:59

LL - this is so far out of the normal range of behavior for 10yos ime - it really is.

This isn't a young child who knows no better. At 10yo this was an outrageous thing to do. Would you expect someone a year before senior school to just walk out of school in a strop - because that is what we are talking about here.

TheFallenMadonna · 30/05/2008 00:01

God, it happens a lot soapbox...

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 30/05/2008 00:02

Lapin....( I love you dearly)

R is a whole different ball park from H, believe me you will see the difference in the next 24 months.

Original poster

PurpleOne · 30/05/2008 00:02

Yes, I absolutely agree. I have had very harsh words with DD and told her that her behaviour was unacceptable.
She is not going to Guide camp next weekend. But then again, if it was to happen at Girl Guides, I'm sure I'd have been notified straight away and a search party sent out.

This is the first time it's ever happened.

It wasn't even cheap childcare either. I don't ever get a break, have no family, no support...and felt the DD's DESERVED to do something and I get a spare few hours to catch up on housework and my OU courses. Is that really so bad???

OP posts:

bellabelly · 30/05/2008 00:04

Of course it isn't!

jasper · 30/05/2008 00:04

Gotta love Soapbox's commnets.
I know LOADS of ten year olds and none of them would do this ( and survive their parents' wrath)

tandos · 30/05/2008 00:04

I think you should complain to the leaders in the form of writing and then also have a chat with dc. Try explaining her how worrying it is when she walks off like that.

Surely with all this sensitivity about kids missing/disappearing the leaders of the event should have had more staff available to cater for the number of kids.

Hope you have calmed down so that you will be in a position to write a meaningful complaint.

take care

CombustibleLemon · 30/05/2008 00:06

Firstly, yes, I would have strong words with your DD about wandering off on her own. At 10 she should know better and the organisers can't be expected to watch her for every second or restrain her if she tries to leave.

Secondly, I would write a strong letter of complaint. They couldn't stop her/didn't notice her leaving, but they damn well should have noticed soon afterwards and contacted you straight away. They should've been doing regular checks on numbers. If they actually saw her leave and did not contact you I would be bouncing off the ceiling.

soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:06

Purpleone - you clearly did this for your DD's benefit and there is nothing wrong with wanting a tiny bit of time for yourself. I was just worried that your DD might get the message that mum is mad with the carers rather than with me - which from your actions you have made clear is not the case.

Whilst I don't think sending out a search party would have been feasible due to ratios of staff to other children, at the least they should have called you.

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:10

Well look how you turned out LL

I really don't know of any 10yos that would do this (and it is more like walking out of school than walking out from home), I really don't!

VinegarTits · 30/05/2008 00:11

Regardless of her dds behaviour, i do think the organiser/group leader should have rang the OP to let her know her dd had gone off in a strop, did they even notice she was gone? I would be angry at both your dd and the organisers tbh, as they were both irresponsible imo. However, i wouldnt bother to write a letter of complaint, i would put it down as a bad experience and not let your dd join in these type of activities until she realises this is not acceptable behaviour.

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:13

LOL LL - my 10yo DD has a t-shirt with that written on it - which perhaps seems more truth than fiction after reading this thread

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madamez · 30/05/2008 00:17

I'd want to know why the child had been upset enough to run away. Then I'd want to know why the organisers hadn't made any attempt either to look for her or contact her parents. a 14-year-old vanishing is a differnt matter from a 10 year old vanishing and no one seemingly even having noticed.

soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:18

LOL - I take it you spent a fortune at Mary Poppins too

It is interesting about watching them more closely as my DC's school has no physical barriers to prevent them leaving the school grounds once they are in Y3 and above. Yet, I haven't ever heard of escapees!

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 00:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:23

I imagine they would call pretty much as soon as they noticed - which is pretty much what I said in my earlier post to the OP. I'm not sure if they do an afternoon registration, so if she was not in her form tutor's class (so French, history, geography, PE, games etc) then it might go unnoticed for a couple of lessons.

Original poster

PurpleOne · 30/05/2008 00:26

So you'd be clueless unless they noticed and called you, or you went to pick her up?

Exactly.

She could be miles away by then.

OP posts:

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:28

She wouldn't do it though - which is pretty much my point - as indeed DS who is in Y3 would not do it!

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