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Original poster

Can somebody help me write a letter of complaint?

90 replies

PurpleOne · 29/05/2008 23:24

To cut a long story very short, there was an organised 'activity' youth thingy going on yesterday. Supply a packed lunch and the kids were being taken to Romford kidspace. They were due back at the park at 1.30 for a football match and cricket match.

DD2 got annoyed at something and stormed off out the park. (dd2 is 10). The leaders of the activity group just let her go, and NOBODY came after her. DD1 didn't even see her go as she was playing footie at the time. DD1 got back at 3pm and no sign of DD2 anywhere. (local park and she knows her way home but beside the point)
At 4.30pm I got a call from my estate agent saying that DD2 was in there so went to get her.
I've found out the leaders name and address and want to write her a strongly worded letter...also maybe cc my MP and local council in this too?

You just don't let a child walk off like that. It'd be like me sitting a mates kid and leaving the front door open...

I am furious!

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soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:31

LL - I really don't know. I know the set up - know that she could get out if she wanted to and that it might be a while before she is missed. On that basis, I am not sure whether it would be reasonable to be angry with them.

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 00:32

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PurpleOne · 30/05/2008 00:32

There's always a first time - so don't be so complacent.
Anything happens these days. And the region where I live have had a spate of stabbings for the past few months.

You just never know.

Anyways, I'm off to bed now as I have footprints on my face where I've been walked all over for asking a simple question. And I have a headache.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleOne · 30/05/2008 00:34

Also soapy, you mentioned that from Y3 upwards, there is no protective barriers at dc's school?

Your dd may not get out, but it doesn't stop someone else from getting in.

Then you'd be angry...

OP posts:
soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:35

99% sure that she wouldn't do it and 100% sure that she wouldn't get to the main gate before she realised it was a very very bad idea.

The only circumstances I can see her doing it in, would be if several of them staged a mass walk out together - and I think that is more like 13-14yo behaviour than 10yo!

soapbox · 30/05/2008 00:36

Purpleone - the people getting in worries me far more!

jasper · 30/05/2008 00:37

I am confused .
Why should the school have barriers? I would Not be angry at someone getting in.

I would be very angry if barriers went up!

People come and go at my kids' school all day long.
The risk of someone with evil intent getting in would never even cross my mind.And I don't live in a posh town

Original poster
PurpleOne · 30/05/2008 00:56

I don't live in a posh town either.
My dc's schools all have barriers up, and the only way in is via a locked gate and entryphone.

Is no one concerned about childrens safety anymore?

OP posts:
jasper · 30/05/2008 01:06

Blimey is that common?
I am in Scotland.
i think most parents are care deeply about their kids safety but don't think about it much.
Does that make sense?
I honestly NEVER worry about them being abducted or anything.
If one of my (9 ,7,6) had wandered off from a supposedly organised activity I would not be at all worried that they might come to any harm as I believe the real risks are negligelable.I would however be very angry at my child and yes, i would speak to the event organisers - mostly to apologise.

I would be horrified if gates security systems were in place at our school.

Hope things are ok with your little girl

MsPontipine · 30/05/2008 01:27

I'm with you Purple One - she was in their care.

MsPontipine · 30/05/2008 01:32

And by the way I would be horrified if people were allowed to "come and go" at my ds's school.

I don't understand why anyone would approve of any school or child care group that is happy to play fast and loose with our children's safety.

Original poster
PurpleOne · 30/05/2008 02:30

I am totally shocked at jaspers and soapy's dc's schools. Really.
It only takes one arsehole to get in..or for a child to get out.

Let me get one thing straight. My dd is no angel and I'm horrified to see the judgement on here that my dd was the bad one in all this. Nice to see so many perfect kiddies and yummy mummies out there.
She has OCD and dyspraxia. So the thought of football and cricket probably terrified her anyway.
Yes, she had a bollocking. Yes, she's been grounded, and yes, she also had a smack (jump on me for that one too!). DD does not disrespect anyone, always says please and thankyou.
The comment about spoilt baggage and cheap childcare really hurt. Dc's are not spoilt as we are on benefits anyway. I'd love to give them a nice holiday and travel by car.

I don't want sympathy. I just wanted a little help in drafting up a letter and I got totally trampled on. I have no support in RL at all, it's just me and my kids. I come here for advice.
Surprised to see that I end up getting flamed when a childs safety is at risk.

Sorry if that's really harsh but I have an awful lot on my plate right now anyways. In RL it's my bloody fault anyways, and now here too.
Lapin and Ponty, thanks for being on my side.

OP posts:
littlelapin · 30/05/2008 08:00

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stuffitllama · 30/05/2008 08:40

I think it is great actually LL and the only thing I would do is avoid the caps. Capitals always look a bit green inky to me (ie mad person writing to the bbc iyswim)! Reference to another org. that wouldn't allow this very important.

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 08:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stuffitllama · 30/05/2008 08:43

purple don't be stressed by the thread.. your op didn't make clear your situation fully and i think there would have been a whole lot more sympathy rather than rush to judgement if people could have seen how stressful things have been

having been in this situ i know it's difficult and embarrassing but also that there will be two sides to it

stuffitllama · 30/05/2008 08:45

scuse -- it's a code for me
green ink = bonkers
random caps = getting there

littlelapin · 30/05/2008 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stuffitllama · 30/05/2008 08:48

how ironic .. it's auntie code for mad complainer who can be dismissed without consideration

including retired admirals? heaven forfend

ink hijack over

Freckle · 30/05/2008 09:11

I'm amazed at the sanctimonious bollocking the OP has had on this thread. I know plenty of 10 year olds (I have one myself) and I can quite easily see situations where they may storm off, particularly girls who are just beginning to be subject to unpredictable hormones. I think it is very dangerous to harbour the belief that one's child would never do something. It's like these children in school whose parents get called in because of some inappropriate behaviour and their first comment is "Oh X would never do that". Of course they wouldn't .

Any child of mine that behaved in that manner would probably be grounded until they were 35 but that doesn't mean that the organisers of the activity do not have a responsibility to ensure the safety of the children in their care. A phone call to the parents would be the very minimum I would expect in these circumstances.

I think LL's letter is jolly good (especially for 8am!).

Original poster
PurpleOne · 30/05/2008 10:57

Lapin's letter is especially good for 8am.
I also agree with Llama's comments about being constructive. I don't want to go in guns a blazing But just to point out that a little more care and attention wouldn't have put DD in a potentially dangerous situation.

Will check back in later as I have to go out now.
Thanks for the ideas and draft LL.

OP posts:
milliec · 30/05/2008 11:25

Message withdrawn

jasper · 30/05/2008 16:44

"fast and loose with our childrens' safety"

I don't see anyone doing that

jasper · 30/05/2008 16:47

and who is clainming to have perfect kiddies or be yummy mummies?

My kids are far from pserfect and I feel like and old bag a lot of the time.

But I don't waste a minute of the day worrying about risks to my kids that frankly are so small as not to exist

jasper · 30/05/2008 16:53

Did your daughter explain to you why she stormed off?
Did you punish her ?