How long will it take before I stop feeling like I have been knocked sideways by a bus???

[ChasingSquirrels]

H announced mid-march that he didn't love me any more, was only staying for the dc's and didn't think he could carry on.
Lots of discussions, tears etc but a refusal to try and make it work on his side, he started looking for somewhere to rent, and I probably pushed him to go sooner rather than later by saying if he wasn't prepared to try and make us work then he had to go. He moved out last Saturday.
I do appreciate that it is very early days, but WHEN am I going to stop reeling?????
He worked away alot, was late in the evenings etc so I am used to coping with the day to day care of the children, running of the house etc on my own. However I just feel like there is a massive hole in my life - which there is, we have been together for nearly 17 years, since we met at uni, all my adult memories include him etc.
I know it will just take time, I guess it just helps to get it out.

CS how are you?

Havent been on much this week as my ds has shingles.

You poor thing it must feel as though everything is going. I so understand as I had to give my dog to another home at about the same time as I lost mine and the X stood by to watch it happen.

Honestly it gets better it really does. Take a day at a time and just let the pain wash over you and it will pass.

Thanks GF, had a shite week - just been very down since Monday night - then e-mailed H yesterday, just setting some of my feelings down really - probably shouldn't have done, but I now feel better for having done so.

Hope your ds is ok - is shingles serious?

Its vile he is in a lot of pain!

Dont send those emails write them by all means but dont send them. My top tip! I have loads of them.

just wanted to see how you are?

Don't beat yourself up, or worry about how you are feeling.

Its to soon to make sense of anything you may feel,when you cry etc...

My ex has been vile to me since heleft, but also then tells me about some or other tune I would like that he's heard.

I know its not much, but it justmakes me think, if you hate me so much why are u telling me this??

frying pan and fire springs to mind.

Also oyu said youdont; know how to 'be 'you, I know that feeling, and 3 yrs on I now nkow how I am as 'me' depsite the grief and that I miss him. Iam ok, I am independant. Its the shock of not being with this person anymore. The toal change that is now your life.

All normal feelings. I went onto a site called midlife crisis, top help me. Iwasn't exactly in that situation, but it does encourage women to stay strong, and detatch, when their partners, leave. My dh was 31, when he went.

thanks Piratecat, feeling a bit better today.
Had a really nice meal out with my friend and a couple of her friends on Friday night, didn't do much Sat then friend came round with her brood this morning for an hour after which we went to my parents for lunch and the afternoon.

ChasingSquirrels, my ex-dh walked out on us last July after 9 years of marriage.

Ten months on and the pain is a lot less. I feel more angry and having been used than anything else. I stopped missing him quite quickly but every so often would get this twinge that I really wanted for it never to have happened.

I am at the stage now where I am glad he left and I wish he would move to Siberia so I never have to see him, ever!

Like everyone says, stay strong, you will look back and be amazed at how you coped and gain strength and character from that.