I don't want to clean AGAIN

[iwonderland]

Ergh,

The boring single mum life, cooking, cleaning, washing and repeat every day, ALL day! Same shit different day.... 🙄 I can't be bothered to clean again already have today! It's so fucking tedious and boring 😞 just a repetitive life! Sometimes I wonder why I'm even here!!! Anyone else feel like this? I'm 33 have 4 kids and do it alone, no social life, no me time and no one has my children every once in a while soo I can either work or have a break no family help. Just sometimes wonder what the fuck this life is..... I do sometimes think to myself if I had known I was going to be alone in the future with 4 kids I wouldn't have had them.... yeah I'm lucky to have kids but my plan was never to be a single parent and have this boring tedious life I have 😞

How old are the kids! Are they little? If so, maybe start giving them age appropriate tasks to complete so you are training them into good habits. If they are older, then give them chores to contribute. I have 3 teenagers, they are responsible for stacking/unstacking the dishwasher. I also pay for extra chores, but your budget may not permit this,

How old are your kids, could they start to get involved?

Do you really need to clean every day?

13,11,8 and 1 they do some chores but they are just soo messy all the time 🙄 it's just tedious...

Yeah because it gets messy. Piss round the toilet seats, shit up the pan of the toilet, crumbs everywhere, things just constantly being left like bowls and cups and stuff.

I'm assuming they're young / babies so I suppose the good news is it gets easier. As long as it's liveable I wouldn't stress, and get the kids to help. I have a small vacuum cleaner and the 4 year old fight over who gets to use it

Can’t the Dad help out at all?

The three older ones can certainly do things around the house. Why are they unable to use the loo properly? Why do they not tidy up after themselves?

I get it, it's so hard some days. Sometimes it feels like I have no purpose other than to run about my house like the house wench!

This post is me!!!! I feel like you don't want advice but more just to rant. We all need that sometimes. I do get help from family but that's so I can work. Work is an escape though tbh. But yes I fully get where you're coming from. Life is tedious. I'm grateful for my kids but never would have opted for single mum life if I had a choice.

Lone parent of 3 here (11, 8 and 6). You need to get your older ones helping and be consistent with it. I keep telling mine I'm your mum, not your maid. It's draining but they do start to listen eventually. Every evening after tea but before showers, we all muck in and make it a team effort. If you've got any football boys in your mix, compare it to a football team and everyone has to do their bit to win. Perfect timing with the Euros being on to hammer in that message.

Secondly, find yourself a village. Get yourself out there and make friends. Even upto the local pub on a Sunday afternoon and chat to people. You need adult social interaction. I've met some people with older teens who want some pocket money and will do some babysitting for me so I get a break. You need to think of yourself too.

Also, drop your standards. If the hoovering isn't done, who cares. It's not going anywhere. Give yourself a break. It's hard work!

I feel you OP. Please ignore all the posters who will tell you you should have taught your kids to be domestic gods/goddesses. We all know no matter how hard we try, kids are messy and ungrateful (mine certainly is!)

No advice, but solidarity.

I tell them all the time to help, and to clean up after themselves I constantly nag at them have done for two months but it don't work I feel like a parrot and just think I'll do it, it's quicker

Literally! I have no joy in life I find it boring yet everyone else seems to be living their life's and having the best time. Holidays, working, social life's, marriage etc etc it's just shit

Apart from the 1 year old the others need to be cleaning up this stuff themselves.

Nope if I knew I was going to be on my own with them I wouldn't have had them if honest. I know that sounds bad but you don't have kids to do it alone do you? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Couple times this week I have thought fuck it lol and not bothered. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can't even go pub lol I always have the kids with me 😞

I would make a rule that food only at the kitchen table. Food in front of the tv or gaming gets food all over the house.
i don’t particularly like eating in the evening so it’s no loss to me not to eat snacks at the television.

Take them with you, mine come with me. Find one with a pool table and a beer garden/play area and just go!

This is one of my rules but it's never followed 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ I'm always saying at the table at the table I'm like a parrot another thing that's tedious

A lot of others may be performing for SM.

try getting kids to immediately clean up. If someone leaves clothes in the bathroom they immediately are told to go and put them in the laundry basket, etc. I found this sort of direction worked for mine, rather than telling them not to make a mess.

good luck

Yup, basically you have to make it more inconvenient for them to be messy than to be tidy. It is hard work to start with but worth it as you build the habits you want! Sit them down and explain that there's going to be a change and this is how it's going to work...

I think I need another chat with them tomorrow. Somethings got to change it's hard work doing it all on my own

I feel you OP.
I don't have any help either and I get so sick of coming home from work and doing all the cooking, washing and cleaning every day. It's so tedious and wears me down.

I know my kids should help more, but sometimes having to nag and cajole them to do it is so draining when I'm already worn out.
I've had so many conversations with them about us being a team and tidying up after themselves and helping more, and they always agree but nothing changes.
I know I need to get tougher though.

Are they all same father? Where is he?