Teenage girls... struggling

[LydiaRebecca14]

Hello. Don't know why I'm here
Im a single mum to 2 teenage girls. 13 & 14.

They were lovely when little. 2 little princesses. My best friends.
Now... I just don't know them.
Anything I say they roll their eyes at me and huff.

I've done everything for them on my own. Always have done. And in return they tell me how much of a bad mum I am when I have to give them the pep talks on attitude and respect.

I've looked through my 14 year olds phone tonight and she's boy mad. I've sat and cried!!

I'm very strict in a protective way. If they go out with friends I call them every 15 mins to check them etc. I protect them with all my might.

I work full time, I'm a mum of 3. I'm a house wife. A cook. A nurse. The whole lot. You know the drill!!!

Today I could bang my head in a brick wall. They listen to absolutely nothing. They're breaking my heart.
I wonder where my little team went :(

We've always been so so close, as soon as the periods started everything changed

Does it get better? Does anyone else feel so alone with teenagers. My hearts breaking x

My DH grew up in an area like you describe and wasn't allowed out at all after 4pm so I hear what you're saying. Could they share their location with Google maps or something just so it's not a phone call every 15 mins. Or maybe they could WhatsApp you.
Maybe you could talk about this with them like they're grown ups- they'll probably take to that better.

But all this 'id pull the trigger myself, I'd die for them' etc. yes we all feel like that but it's all a bit much, you don't sound very happy and quite aggressive. Obviously this is just one thread but is it possible you need to talk to someone about how you feel?

As for being boy mad, explain how all the big porn companies, all the big website, all of social media is run by men, telling us that sex, free and easy is what women enjoy.

But explain its run by men for men and most women don’t enjoy sex like that and just ferl used. Tell them they’ve got all the time in the world. Tell them porn is just a fake world that’s not real but that ALL the boys now see that and expect that. And tell them it’s their job as young women to educate these men that’s not what they want to be slapped and bitten and raped etc.

They need to know if they’re going to play in the big world what it really consists of. And that no boy of 14 or even 16 is going to be emotionally mature to cope with all of this. Talk to them about stds and consent.

i wonder too if you could offer a compromise where they text you and then you call. You do a tag, then it’s only one call every half hour. They will feel it’s constraining every 15 mins. At the same age you would have too?

You're coming across as quite unwell op. Have you sought any help?

They aren't your best friends there your daughters. You have to get the balance between dealing with mood swings, discipline,live etc all right. Once more adult then they become best friends like I am now with my mum. Calling all the time when there out is odd tho. Good on you checking phones ours also get there's checked now and then and have no problem with it.

Have you considered an app like Life360 you could track your dd phones and no where they are. Would that help give you some more comfort op? Wishing you well, i hope you get the support you need.

They were lovely when little. 2 little princesses.

I think it's difficult as they were probably cute & funny when they were little. Unfortunately teenagers are different & if you've never been overly strict then they will rebel if you start trying to impose boundaries now.

I can understand why you don't want them out & about if the area is how you describe it. It's the other people you're worried about.

Don't assume as you got pregnant at 15 that DD will do the same. Also even if you call constantly she will find a way to do what she wants. It sounds like you lied to your parents & are worried she is doing the same.

I think you need to try to relax a bit as you will just push them away from you & they will just lie to you to stop you asking.

Can you afford family days out - cinema, cafe etc? I know not everyone can. But doing some nice family stuff would maybe help you enjoy their company?

Also long term are you able to move away? That's hard on your own.

I think you're getting a hard time on here. Lots of us have a partner or grandparents who help out financially and giving lifts, just generally helping out. It must be so hard on your own in a terrible area. I would also feel stressed like you do.

Hello, @LydiaRebecca14 we're sorry to hear you're struggling.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. You might also find some useful advice and links to real-life support on the NHS website.

Best wishes from MNHQ.

Have you got find my phone op? It enables you to see where they are without Having to bug them I find it invaluable for my 15 year old party girl. Good luck it sounds hard x

This is a lone parent thread and the shame on fmost of you for kicking a lone parent when they are down and clearly not adjusting to having teenagers (same here too OP- so your not alone).