Explaining ex's new baby to toddler

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My ex left for a woman he met at work January of this year. He has now told me that they are expecting a baby in November. Ex and I have a 2.5 year old and I don't even know how to approach explaining to a toddler that his dad is having a baby with a stranger.

Has anyone else been through this and have any suggestions? Or any toddler books or TV shows that might in any way help?

Your toddler won't be aware simply as they aren't at that developmental stage yet.

The only thing time he may be upset is about a years time e.g. from around 3.5 years old when he wants a sibling because lots of children around him suddenly have a baby brother or sister.

Though there are also children who don't want a sibling.

I think you need to look at the contact schedule asap. Before the new baby arrives.

Ex having the toddler weekend is not fair for anyone. It will just mean he will regularly cancel. And also when the child starts school, you are doing all the school runs and nothing else. And you'll have all the holiday club fees and ex wont have any.

you both need a mix of weekend time and weekday time. Every other weekend for him and also a chink of days in the week over night. He should also have some actual parenting responsibility in there not just seeing child in his free time.

He is selfish and reliable but I am trying to make some kind of friendly relationship for my son. I come from parents that don't talk and hate each other and I don't want that for him.

So we might not be best friends but that doesn't make it poisonous.

The only good thing is that he is so young. He will adjust better to a new sibling then if he is 6 settled in a routine and it all shifts.

I would see if you can get the Ex a month before to mention it. Like sow the seeds. A little sibling on the way? Ect so it's not a wham bang a random baby appears one day. I think he needs not to cancel visits and stick to them in the months leading up to ensure a good relationship, it will all be weird if he hadn't properly met the woman either yet, that would be a lot at once.

Gosh sounds stressful.

This is something already in discussion. I currently work weekends, so am in the process of making changes about that. It will change to every other weekend once I start my new job so that I will have quality time too.

He won't take him during the week more than he does, I have tried to promote this. He does not drive and is unwilling to have him overnight during the week because of his work.

And OP I think your being rather contained. You asking how to approach it, which is very positive. Even if you are fuming and want to whack the block, you are gathering other perspectives to approach it as neutrality as possible.

I would really struggle, I'm very emotional and would struggle to sit on my feelings and be the better person. Also when it's your child involved it's even harder to be calm.

Yes, I agree. I'm just looking for ways to almost promote babies and a new sibling as a good thing before then.

Cant have reaponsibility for a child during the week… gets another woman pregnant. At least you know you dont have to live with this selfish arse any longer.

if he wont have the child during the week he needs to be sharing the costs for childcare. Cannot see it happening though.

how os he at paying cm?

Op there is a book called "what type of family are we" its the Closest I can think if what you are asking. It deals with how families are different and in it are half siblings. That may be a starting point?

normally, it is reasonable he hasnt introduced his girlfriend after so little time.

Right now I am very angry at ex. He has done a lot of selfish things over the last few months but I'm honestly glad he can be someone else's problem now. I'm just trying to stop it affecting my son.

Ex is living with his parents. They stay there on a Saturday night. Ex is living with her mum. Their situation is a mess but that's for them to figure out.

He hasn't introduced girlfriend because he has only recently admitted that they are actually together.

Thank you! I will have a look

Right now we have an informal arrangement where he just send money to a joint account we had that only pays bills. I am expecting this to be an issue later but am working on getting myself to a place where I don't have to rely on that money

He hasn't introduced her to any of his family. He knows they are angry about how he's approached everything so he's just been ignoring the situation until he couldn't any more. He admitted this.

It's quite possible he's not even going to meet the baby, or not in a early sibling way. He doesn't have him much and doesn't live with Mom and future baby. If be wary of bigging up getting a baby until you know of baby will even be in his life

But not sensible enough to not get another woman pregnant when he isn't even providing his own home for his existing child

Meh, they don't live together, he's got his parents around to help him parent, he knew he'd get agro for getting this new woman pregnant, sounds like it was easier to keep her on the side out of the way until his hand was forced. She may also have no interest in meeting him older kid. Not sure he gets credit for brilliant parenting given the lack of other evidence, like cancelling if he wants to go to the pub