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Ex wife sending me abuse

12 replies

Weatheringthestorm · 21/07/2023 22:47

My ex has the D.C. EOW - no other involvement and he refuses to be flexible on contact. If he doesn’t get the days he wants during the holiday I received a torrent of abuse.

This year he gave me the wrong dates and when I told him I’ve made arrangements after he confirmed he stopped maintenance but claimed it was a separate matter and he’s only doing the dates of his choosing.

The following day I received a dissertation from his wife, rambling on about things unrelated to the D.C. but personalised and threatening court action.

I’ve never met her, and when I asked her to not contact me but find someone else if the Dcs father refuses to communicate because I won’t agree to his date change, I received another dissertation again making very little sense other than complaining about me.

I work full time and pretty much parent full time with zero support. I’m exhausted.

Any clue how to deal with this person as it’s terrible he’s sent her to do his dirty work.

Added to this the D.C. don’t particularly like her but that’s irrelevant other than I feel sad they have this person in their life.

OP posts:
Weatheringthestorm · 21/07/2023 22:47

That’s should read ex’s

OP posts:
ThePM · 21/07/2023 22:51

Maybe ask her “Do you not feel like a total muppet, letting yourself be sent to pick up his shit? I’m not changing the dates.”

Weatheringthestorm · 21/07/2023 23:12

I would love to but now I have a measure of her realise they want any ammunition and also I can’t get into any more back and forth messaging as it’s soul destroying.

he is always right and I the most awful person to walk the planet. He has to control everything or else he throws his toys out the cot and makes up things about me and what’s happening.

I can’t cope with it anymore.

She keeps going on about the damage I’ve caused him and my messages are upsetting.

I usually sent two lines either confirming arrangements or dates etc I never ever mention anything unrelated and haven’t done for years even though he brings up things from years ago.

I can never be accused of any sort of abuse because I don’t send any!

I don’t understand why because he didn’t get what he wanted, stopped maintenance she’s getting involved. She doesn’t even understand what’s really happening and I say this having read several 10,000 word messages about complete nonsense.

Shes also told me I can only speak to her about contact too - again never met her and why must I negotiate with a stranger about my children.

OP posts:
TheSeaDoesntKnowMyName · 21/07/2023 23:31

Ignore her
Block her number

Continue to message him with dates as you are

It's driving them both round the bend that you won't engage

ConnieTucker · 21/07/2023 23:34

Block her.
cms.

Followwill · 21/07/2023 23:34

If you have no reason to speak to her, just block her surely?!

Weatheringthestorm · 21/07/2023 23:39

I’ve ignored her but I had to respond as it was time sensitive and an already agreed date.

Everything is now up in the air except for dates involving a family event but beyond that they have made demands which I’ve ignored and other than stop contact because apparently I’m only allowed to contact her about the D.C. there is no more contact as the next dates aren’t agreed as the original dates were what their father wanted but has now again changed everything.

sorry that’s probably confusing

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 21/07/2023 23:48

Just type TLDR when she messages you.

Totaly · 21/07/2023 23:53

Ignore her.

If he wants contact they he needs to be a grown up and play nicely.

TheSeaDoesntKnowMyName · 22/07/2023 11:44

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/07/2023 23:48

Just type TLDR when she messages you.

haha

Weatheringthestorm · 23/07/2023 11:56

Yes have ignored her and will continue to do so - you’re right too if he wants contact he can grow up because m not dealing with her next any circumstances besides and emergency.

Absolute cheek of the pair of them

and yes @TLDR 😁

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 23/07/2023 11:59

Block her you don't need to only deal with her and yes go to cms about the maintenance

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