Summer holidays and shared care

[rockingbird]

So, here we are one week left of school. exH currently has DC x2 every other weekend. No mention of having them over the summer! I don't actually mind as I love having them around and I work remotely 3 days a week and my time is flexible. That said .. 6/7 weeks of me I'm sure they'll be bored of me. We have a weeks holiday planned and some day trips scheduled but apart from that not much else. Should I be raising the subject to see if he's factoring in a week or two with them over the summer? I should point out I've always done all the childcare 🙄 what do you guys do?

I have them extra because his new wife is a teacher and he is very busy taking lots of lovely adults only overseas trips in the school holidays, and I continue picking up all of his slack.

Yes, OP, you raise it with the father of your DC.

A short, factual:

"As you know, the kids are off school until X date which is 6 & a half weeks. We have plans for these dates Y & Z. Can you let me know by Friday which three weeks you will be parenting your children? I'm happy to split those into single weeks if it makes it easier for you."

He's probably an arse who will "negotiate" it down to a handful of days, but something is better than nothing and at least you can then plan around those days.

Thanks both, I suspect he'll be far too busy to factor in the school holidays. Never did in the 12 years married so why start now eh. I'll have that conversation but won't hold my breath.. it just won't have entered his head that the DC at off for 6 weeks and I'm working round them - as I've always done it.

Dad to my eldest "has to work" so no help there.

Dad to the youngest said he wants holiday contact but still hasn't given me any dates so I can't plan my life. I expect it will be like the regular weekend contact he wants..... I will get a text a couple hours before he plans to pick child up because obviously I have no right to plan my life it must revolve around him.

I don't really notice the holidays tbh though as I have one child out of school as no school can meet needs and one is a baby. So won't be any harder

Hmm @PurpleBugz that sounds tricky, very little notice would piss me off.

Well.. I asked that question: are you planning to have anytime off over the summer at all? the response was amusing - erm haven't thought about it yet (they break up tomorrow). So I'll plan my little camping trips and he can f*ck off quite frankly. I'm not waiting around for him to find some time to see the kids - god forbid pitch in!

My ex gas never had our kids overnight so no i will be having them all summer

Just thought I'd come back and update.. all he's done is his usual EOW 🙄 no mention of having them during the holidays whatsoever!! I'm working hard starting at 5am so I can spend time with them daily after lunch. Catching up on emails in the evening etc.. zero fucks given his end. They've just come back from from their weekend away, I've been painting and working all weekend. They've been to the supermarket and that's it. I feel like I need to point out the obvious-do something with your children before it's too late! We've just had dinner in the garden chatting, made plans for the coming week - then we go on holiday (all planned by me). Then it's one day home then back to school. I actually can't quite believe he's done nothin to pitch in or even thought about taking them away for a night or two.