Leaving an 8 yr old home alone all day

[Meiya]

Hi there,
is it ok to leave an 8 yr old home alone all day while a single parent goes out to work from 9 till 5.?
the child has a kitten for company ( she loves cats) but is an only child and spends most of her time alone when not in school because of her fathers work.
she has a phone she can contact him on if need be .

No. At 8 I was starting to leave mine for 10 minutes while I popped to the corner shop. At 10/ 11 I'd leave them for an hour or two, and by 14 half a day, with a phone, food provided and rules, e.g. no cooking.

No way

Not a serious post.
Try harder.

Of course not.

Yes sadly, DS's father was violent and so wasn't allowed to see him at all until he became an adult court ordered. This was the 1980's, it's even harder now because everything is so much more expensive.
I had my own house so didn't qualify for benefits, I'd have been better off on benefits - I worked it out.
But we did have a lot of free childcare back then until they were 11 years old - I was a nurse.
At 11 the free childcare ended so I had a network of single mum friends (no family in this country) and a neighbour made sure he got back from school safely who kept an eye on him or were on the end of the phone but holidays broke me as I had to pay for him to go to clubs or childminder and it was incredibly expensive.
I worked full time days and then did 2 nights a week in a nursing home where I could also take DS (as there were spare rooms I was allowed to use) on top of that to pay for the childcare. It was a miserable and skint time and we often only had £10 a week left for food.
Two or more children would have been impossible. I don't know how people manage now. I'd probably just have given up and gone onto benefits.

No it is not ok to abandon an 8 years old for a day. Children need to be 14 to be left alone. The child needs a childminder or Parent take holiday to care for her. The kitten makes no difference whatsoever. I would have no problem at all reporting this as neglect.

Nope not in any universe

I have an 11 and an 8 year old and I would. Not even leave the 11 year old at home all day! They are too young to cope with any emergency which might arise. They could end up doing some thing dangerous. If this is your child, you need to place them in day care. There are community playgrounds in london where you pay very little (around 5 per day) for a child to play and have lunch. Can you ask a friend to help? It is sometimes hard for people out there financially but Please don’t ever leave a child this young at home. It is neglect. Call your lock council and ask if there are day care facilities in the area

no way - 8 is far too young. This post makes me quite sad!

This isn't true. There isn't a specific legal age you can leave a child. 8 is too little though especially all day!

Absolutely not.

My dd is 10 and has been alone for max 90 mins and even that was too much and was an emergency.

I only leave her alone normally for up to an hour when at the shops etc but even at that not very often.

@Bestcatmum

Thank you. What was the free childcare set up (until 11)? Very interested to hear what was on offer at one point.

Whoever is judging this needs to remember what money is, & what happens when you take time off on min wage/zero hours jobs. And how much childcare costs.

Whoever is going straight to "report to SS & have the child removed Because Safeguarding" needs to remember that for many kids, the outcomes of being foisted into the care system are much worse than being left alone at home.

Of course it's not right to leave the poor kid alone. Her development, social needs, & right to familial security are not being met. But this thread is going to be depressingly full of PP devoutly avowing that they "would NEVER do that" without the slightest consideration that some mothers are so appallingly up against it that sometimes there is no other choice.

4 million UK kids are living in poverty. Right now. In 2022.
Maybe this mother isn't feckless scum who deserves your moral outrage & can satisfy your need to be holier than thou. Maybe she is desperate, & doing her best to keep her child fed & warm. It's school holidays isn't it - the kid won't be at home alone 365 days a year.

"Just throw money at it" is a standard go-to MN suggestion innit @ItsNotReallyChaos

So much privilege, so little empathy.

Although to be fair to @girlmom21 her posts are usually a great deal more intelligent & insightful than this.

No.

Second every word of this.
But PP will be along to demonise the mother anyway @pigcon1.
With a depressing lack of imagination or consideration of the appalling financial circumstances of millions of UK families.

Another No. My son was making short local trips by himself, short periods at home alone at 8/9, but a whole day is far, far too long.

Come on @girlmom21

Faced with the choice of earning enough money to give your little girl supper tonight, or to stay at home with her so she isn't alone - which would you choose?

And please don't offer any alternative like "I would do XYZ before I let this happen" derail you from the fact that for many parents, the choice is actually this stark, & this binary.
For parents in this situation, they've often explored ALL the options, & have exhausted every one of them. Or are unable to take them up because they don't have e.g. even a spare fiver for a breakfast club.

I don't think so.

Ofcourse it's not ok! I really hope this isn't being asked seriously.

You are both correct @KettrickenSmiled and @pigcon1

And of course while fervently insisting that they would NEVER vote Tory and those who do are evil scum.

It's a very long way from ideal, OP, but what is your situation? Are there any options? I know it can be a rock and a hard place with an unsympathetic or inflexible jobs and half term.

Supposing, just supposing, that this is not a case of neglect, but a case of having very little money & absolutely no other options for a school holiday week?

Are you able to even imagine that, misnamed @caringcarer?
If you are not, you are a very lucky person.

The child needs a childminder or Parent take holiday to care for her.
Yes she does.
And childminders & holidays cost ... are you getting there yet ..? MONEY!

I do have smile at the posters who come on to threads like this, declaring that “Social services will be all over you!!”

Really?

My experience of social services in recent years, professionally, is that they are so exhausted, overworked and short staffed that they are desperately struggling to respond to safeguarding referrals for actual abuse of children and vulnerable adults. Referrals are left in triage piles for much longer than they should be, cases are shut done as quickly as possible…

No-one is going to be leaping up and out, blue light style, to be “all over” a parent because they left an under 10 (or under 14 according to some posters!) alone during the day in a safe home.

I

Cheers @Spicycurry
Reckon it's time to take a break from this thread, or it's going to do my nut in.