Leaving an 8 yr old home alone all day

[Meiya]

Hi there,
is it ok to leave an 8 yr old home alone all day while a single parent goes out to work from 9 till 5.?
the child has a kitten for company ( she loves cats) but is an only child and spends most of her time alone when not in school because of her fathers work.
she has a phone she can contact him on if need be .

At 8 years old I don't think this is ok. By Secondary age I think children ought to be able to go out, cross roads, visit a shop etc unaided so I wouldn't be worried about them being home alone all day but at 8 I think they shouldn't be left this long, even if they are sensible and would be ok for 20 mins or so. A full day is a long time and a lot could go wrong.

Christ no! I'm usually the first to jump on here saying everyone is over protective, don't let their kids do anything .... 15 year olds not allowed in cafes alone, 18 year old with a set bed time etc ..... but leaving an 8 year old alone all day is pure neglect, poor kid.

There is no specific age when a child can be left alone at home however it is against the law if it is puting the child at risk,
Children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left for long periods of time so l would be very very careful about leaving any child of 8 all day.
I had this discussion at the weekend with a family member who is a social worker in child protection.
Even they thinks this is shocking

even sending the child to the library (with a packed lunch)

See I don't see that as better. In fact worse as strangers can see they are alone and anyway it isn't a creche.

Neglect is also not having enough money to buy food or heating. Interesting that everyone jumps to reporting not helping.

Or see if a neighbour could help maybe

Again this could be more risky than being alone in your own house at 8.

To be clear I am not condoning it.

Not illegal.

Not OK either.

I was left home alone at 8 years old every single weekend and most evenings while my mum worked 7 days a week in various jobs. It was lonely and I would definitely have considered myself too young for that, even though I was technically capable of making my own food etc. But no, this isn't a good idea, I definitely wouldn't be leaving my kid on their own at that age.

Absolutely not.

I agree @MossGrowsFat

Realistically even the most bookish child will get restless in the library all day and go wandering.

Home is probably the safest option. It is a long way from ideal, but I’m not as horrified as others - I think eight year olds wandering is more risky.

No way! I started being left on my own when I was 9 or 10, for an hour tops at a time, and when I was left on my own for the day for the first time when I was 12, with a neighbour at her house all day in case something happened. I had a phone, could make my own lunch and entertain myself and I was fine, but 8 is much too young.

I was a latchkey kid and definitely left alone at 8.

id suggest that you find someone to come around to watch your child. I didn’t have anything bad happen but I was lucky. You need to have someone close to at least check up or watch the child if it’s scary.

The kid will be fine 🤷‍♀️the kitten Will know what to do in an emergency 😉

No its not acceptable at all. She's much too young. I was a single mum and the youngest I would leave DS was 11 and that was only occasional. Social services would be all over you if they found out.

For what though, it isn't illegal and they fail to act in cruelty cases and have a massive shortage of Foster parents for children in dire need, so the reality is they won't.

@Bestcatmum

were you working, in a low paid job, with no support?

if yes to all of these things, how did you make that work?

No, of course not. I'm a single mum and I left my ds at home for the first time while I worked a whole day, when he was 13.

That was after I had

• asked him if he was happy about it
• built up to it gradually
• made sure he knew both our very responsible neighbours were home.
• rehearsed what to do in case of fire or other emergency

I live somewhere where it is normal to leave a 6 year old half and hour to pop to the shops; 5 year olds are expected to walk to school alone etc.
For me the biggest questions are:
Does your DD want to be left alone or is she happy to be left for that long?
How close is her father's work?
How quickly could he get home?
Would he go home for lunch?
Has she ever been alone for 1-2 hours before?

@MintJulia

What did you do before he was 13?

I would expect this is about working to live and lack of support (friends/family/finance) than being a single parent.

my DD is 8 and while she is probably sensible enough to cope and make herself lunch, read books, watch tv etc, she would absolutely hate it. I've asked her previously if she would like to stay on her own while I do very quick errands (running DS to beavers which is literally round the corner etc) and she's always said a very firm no. I'd be very worried about a child left alone all day.

No way. Too young. Even if the kid was happy and fine in that scenario (which is doubtful) I'd be terrified something would happen.
DD is nearly 5 and there's no way I could do that in 4 years, nope.

No!

Never mind boredom or loneliness - what if she had an accident, or there was a fire? What happens when she is unwell?

I assume that she isn't on her own quite so long during term time, but it still means she is coming home to an empty house, probably making herself something to eat/drink which may involve kettle or microwave - who knows - she could be very badly hurt.

There used to be a lot of latch-key kids - it was considered a national disgrace and one of the reasons that govt-funded childcare was introduced,

Absolutely not and definitely shouldn't be considered!

This can't be real (the kitten pushed it over the edge)

If anything happens to the child, like a minor injury, the responsible adult will be charged with negligence.