being single is great!

[beansmum]

Couldn't think of anything useful to add to karenanne's thread. But for all the people having a hard time getting used to being a single parent there are LOADS of good things about it too.

I can stay in my pj's all day and just eat chocolate.

i don't have to worry about cooking or cleaning unless I want to do it.

Bean is so amazing because of ME (the ginger hair isn't my fault though)

nobody leaves the toilet seat up

I LOVE being single

Are you pissed?

are you?

sorry i was only joking, i obviously don't have the same optimistic outlook, not really a great fan of it. Will think of nice things to say about it and post again

You get all the cuddles in the world
Offspring will say Mama before Dada
The relationship you have with your babies will be so close
You have all the time in the world to lavish attention on them
Being in no relationship is much better than being in an abusive relationship where you are constantly belittled
You get to choose all the nice clothes (highly superficial last point)

Well since no one else has anything good to say, here's some more from me

I don't have to share my bed with a smelly grumpy man, and when I have to get up in the night for ds I know there isn't anyone still sleeping in the next room, I don't think I could cope with that!

I don't have to share ds with anyone, if I did have a partner I think he would be feeling very left out at the moment.

NOBODY LEAVES THE TOILET SEAT UP! (think I may have already mentioned that one, but it's sooooooo annoying)

I tried Beansmum
No one belches in my flat
No skid marks
No one sits in the toilet for twenty minutes
No one watches final score all saturday evening
I can dance to abba freely without fear of ridicule
I can watch soaps if I wanted to
I can drool over all lovelies
I can leave hair accessories everywhere.

Beansmum - I'm another lover of being single or rather being a single mum!! it's fantastic!

Nobody to bicker with about discipline
Nobody to answer to
Being in charge of your own life
Taking all the credit for your fatastically well behaved and balanced child
No abuse
Having pride in the fact that your child never has to listen to their role model(s) tearing shreds off each other
Savouring all those special moments like putting your kid(s) to bed without having to rush down stairs to cook tea
Not having to cook!
Being able to eat what you want, wear what you want, look how you want
Nothing but your own expectations to live up to
Being able to be utterly selfish
Never having to compromise

I could go on!

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Aimsmum - spot on with all your stuff!

On the more comical side -

Not having to pick dirty boxers of the floor
Not having to touch dirty smelly socks
Not having to share a bed (being able to take up all th bed)
Nobody pinches the quilt
Nobody to leave the empty tube from the toilet paper on the holder
nobody to leave toothpast spit down the side of the sink
Not having to get annoyed about picking up after someone else
not having to justify the amount you spend on clothes

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I can spend hours on MN and no one complains!

I know right from the start that I have to do everything myself, so I plan it and do it, and then have some leisure time, instead of some idiot telling me he'll do it, then not doing it and having to do it in what should be leisure time!

these are all great most of the ones i could think of have already been said but these are great for when your' feeling a bit low and want someone else to be around i think i'm going to print these off haha

making all the decisions has to be my favourite one
no one to negotiate with it's all on your terms!!

and just knowing that when your child grows up and does well in life that you were the person who was there to guide them and you did a good job

wanted to add agreement to earlier posts

for me is no extra work as did all before we left anyway, but now none of the c**p/ washing/ stress of before so life much easier

plus i hate the feeling of partners (cold) bottom accidentally touching yours in bed when both curled up, back to back cos argued or whatever, and they accidentally bump you and you both move away

go girls!!!

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I am not a single mum yet - will be in June I never told the father as he was disgusting and coersive in the first place when I was drunk. I know that if I did have him involved my self esteem would be effected by him. He thought I was trying to steal his ipod when I was at the flat and told me my future plans amounted to bullshit. Who needs this? Someone who thinks women are out for what they can get. Well I regreted the whole thing - needless to say he didn't ring. He admitted in the morning to sleeping with women then pretending not too. Needless to say he did the same to me and I wasn't sorry not to hear from such a jerk. I am stronger than needing an insipid fool like this in my life.

It does get a bit scary when you think about continuing education and cash. However the thought of being eternally bound to another abusive man makes me feel how lucky I am to be so strong My self esteem will never ever again be determind by a man. It is only now I have gotten ruthless about this that I have started to have genuine motivation towards building my life as a single woman. Therefore the men I will have around me are either good people or they can take a god damn hike.

If you need adult company do a course or group. Meet some other assertive intelligent motivated people - it really rubs off on you. I'll be starting a course at the uni (just a short one) on the changing face of feminism. If you feel lonely fill your time with positive things, not mourning you don't have someone to hug you.

I know I don't know the half of it yet with regards to raising a child - I've got to think though not having this man's input is the best child bearing decision I have made to date. The only thought I had to contact him was when I was when I was feeling insecure and fearful. Then you would be the most vulnerable - isn't it at these moments when we subject ourselves to people who can't respect us?