DD asking for daddy what do i do??

[mummyofaprincess]

DD has just turned 3 and her daddy up and left us in november.

He comes and see`s her when he wants to and this has reduced to half an hour once or twice a week.

He came on monday and he stayed half and hour and dropped DD off at school, dd said to us both mommy and daddy stay here and i go to school, xp didnt say a thing and left me to say that daddy doesnt live here anymore (i have told DD before) and that he still loves her.

When DD got out of school she was very quite and didn`t speak for a while then she said daddy and mommy at home now, i had to say that he was at his own home and that you live with mommy but we still love you as much as before.

Yesterday DD asked to see daddy but i said she couldnt and i said another day (as i havent got a clue when he will see DD next) she burst into tears asking to see him.

Today DD as just asked for daddy again and its really breaking my heart.

I dont know what to do, xp works rota shifts so cant set days, he has now moved in with OW and has said to me he wont be seeing DD as much anymore because of the distance, he only see`s her for half an hour at the best of times.

I dont know what to do, please help me out as this is really hurting my DD, i am also 6 months pregnant and all this stress is getting me down as i cant do anything to make DD feel better

i should add that i didnt just say to DD "you cant see daddy" i explained that she will see him another day

anyone?

So very, very sorry to hear about the awful time you and your dd are having.

I have absolutely no advice I'm afraid, but I didnt want your thread to go unanswered.

Have you tried posting on the lone parent thread?....I think you will get more help/advice there.

I am so sorry about this. I feel so sad for your lovely DD. Is there any chance you could speak to him to share her feelings and arrange something more? I guess you have already thought of that and due to circumstances may not be able too. So sorry mummyofaprincess. What a silly man!

I normally say to DS yes you'll see daddy on fri sat (or whenever) and he's normally happy with that, but he's only 2.

if he really keeps asking then I ring XH and he speaks to H that way. could you do that possibly?

I have tried i just had to call him as DD wanted to talk to him, he said oh ive just come back form a course and im working from 7 in the morning till late at night its going to be a 18 hour shift, so i said when are you going to see DD again he said oh erm next couple of days i think.

I dont know what to do for the best now, i feel like im trying for nothing and its only hurting DD more.

could you try writing to him, not in accusing way just that everyday dd is asking for you, crying and wanting to know when she is next going to see you? Ask him if for dd's sake he will make firm arrangements of when he is next going to see her when he drops her off from seeing her, or when he gets his shift rota so that she has something concrete to look forward to

for you dd

I have just worte a letter thank you, don`t know when i will see him next to give it to him.

Dd is still awake she`s not sleeping to well at all

mom i really feel for you my dd has been going through the same thing, she has actually started to settle a little but she always asks for daddy and I usually say you will see him on such day and she is normally ok with it, I think if she sees you are ok about it then maybe she will be a little more settled (it seems to work for me) its really sad

Just had to write a message after reading yours, xh left us in nov too my 4 yr old also asks for daddy loads although for now they are seeing him regularly, it breaks my heart too but I've tried to keep things simple, kids that age dont really have a concept of time, so I just reassure them that daddy will be coming soon and then distract them with something they enjoy doing. I feel for you, unfortunately you are not alone and I do believe that kids adapt much quicker than we do!

Can I just say that my 10 yr old dd STILL cries for her daddy, and we divorced in 2000!

It's just shit I know. But we love the dc's still the same.

He left me for OW, he's now married NOT to OW lol, went on rebound as always.

Don't hurt me but it damn well hurts my kids.

Sending you blessings x x

Fathers like that make life unbearable for fathers like me.

Is there any way you could get him to mediation to impress on him the importance of your daughter needing to have a relationship with him?

agree with mummyalone, we'll see daddy soon and then distraction. this is what i do with my DS cos i know exP just will not change no matter how many conversations or letters/emails i write.

sad for you... its very hard.

Thank you everyone, i do tell DD you will see daddy another day and she normaly just stops asking them, but it seems to be getting worse as now she cries and i try and stop her crying (giving her a love, telling her that daddy still loves her and will see her soon) Its just so hard seeing her this way

DD never used to wake up in the night but now she wakes up more then once just crying, i go in and settle her and give her a love and a kiss, DD then goes back to sleep for a while.

Lostdad i dont think he would go to mediation, i will ask him when i see him next, but he is so wrapped up with his new life with OW and the house they have just got he just doesnt make time for DD or anything that involves DD.

I know how your daughter feels. Im 15..
i miss my dad too its been 9 years since ive seen my dad, he sends me birthday cards still and xmas ones.

My dad doesnt get inolved with my life either, but im trying to meet up with him soon.

Dont feel bad your doing the best you can

Love Nicole x x x x