SAHM - Is this a social taboo for single parents/internet dating

[sarah1969]

Is it just me or do people tend to look down their noses at you when you declare that not only are you a single parent but you also (god forbid) are a stay at home mum?

I am a single parent not through choice but because I refused to put up with his abuse and behaviour any longer. The fact that I am at home with my dd who is 4 is partly through choice (after what she has been through I want to be there for her as much as I can) and partly due to finances (I am sorry to say I am better off on benefits getting my rent paid). But why does this make me lower than the spawn of the devil? If I am not being treated like or called a benefit letch, I am being avoided.

It doesnt matter who they are either. I met a great guy on a website, I say met we emailed back and forth quite a bit, and things seemed to be going ok. Then he hit me with the big Q's - what do you do and why did you split from your ex? Now whats a girl to do in this situation? Lie and say I couldnt handle the fantastic way he treated me and felt i didnt deserve him? Tell him I am the MD of a finance company and own properties all over the world? I told the truth, allbeit a watered down version and he disappeared off the face of the earth. Well, no he didnt, he just never replied although his profile shows he has been on the site every day since!

Was I a fool for telling the truth? Should I have refused to answer? I am new to all this internet dating so please help!

There are a lot of arseholes out there who are prejudiced against single parents and/or people on benefits. They are not worth you wasting your time on.

At the same time, anyone who does internet dating needs to think about how to present herself as a desirable commodity (sorry to be so blunt) so I wonder if you need to think about all the really positive things your status says about you - independent, strong, organised, fantastic at budgeting etc, so that when you tell people what you do you can spin it in a positive way?

I agree with Kathy - tell the truth, but be as positive as you can.

What like I am a organisational budgeter for a private enterprise...!

I think people don't realise how children are affected by their parents splitting up unless they have direct experience of it.
Wanting to put your child first should never be looked at as a bad thing. When a child has been left by one parent they need the other parent even more.
You are doing the right thing for you and your dd and nobody should treat you badly for it.

Message withdrawn

i have experienced this too, i think the chaps probably panic that if things develop that they will have to support you
these sites also never seem to have a SAHM option for the profession so always swither between self employed or retired
usually found that the ones who had kids themselves werent just as bad, have you tried www.datingforparents.com or www.parentsalready.com

It is true about people's reaction to the non-working thing.. i work part time as a nanny and only do 3 days a week, (plus am single mum with 2 young dc).. but when i meet people or do online dating, they always say "wow, what do you DO with the other 2 days of the week?? i wish i only worked 3 days like you!!"

i am also studying for my final yr of my degree which appears to be acceptable.

So i often wonder what their reaction would be if i told them i "simply cared" for my children at home? Which i did do for several years.