At breaking point with my 2.5 year old

[Pebbledashery]

Just that.
Every night for the past 2 weeks, my previously amazing sleeper toddler is waking up nightly screaming for cuddles.. Minus two nights.. I've bought her into my bed and she's taken 2 hours to fall asleep and it's just awful.. I cried this morning at a 5am wake up.
I literally cannot cope.. I cannot function on such little sleep...i work full time and I'm a single parent with no help from family etc..
Tonight at 2am she's woken up screaming for cuddles and I've just left her.
She has currently been 20 minutes.. I know once I go in its game over...i just can't cope with another night of no sleep.. I feel utterly horrific. I also know if I go in now it's an unnecessary waste of time just having left her :( after she stops independently she sleeps through the night..
I left her the night before last and she finally fell asleep after 30 minutes of screaming and slept through till 8am.. I had to text the neighbours to apologise as I didn't want them judging me..
I feel so awful letting her cry.. Every part of me wants to just go in and settle her but soon as I go in she wants to sleep in my bed.
I physically cannot cope without any more nights of no sleep...its driving me mad... I literally want to throw myself out the windows when I feel like this...
I've tried giving her a snacks before milk, more milk before bed, I'm not yet ready to take the side of her cot down yet whilst she's like this.
What else can I do.
Please help me... 😢😢😢 I'm so desperate.

Christ OP this is awful for you.

I don't know what to suggest other than ..... it WILL pass. It really will.

Can you try taking the side off the cot bed and putting a mattress on the floor next to it for you? When she cries you can go in there to sleep rather than bring her in with you, or just sleep there from the start

Is there room to put her bed in your room?

Honestly can't cope. It is OK for about 2 or 3 nights then it starts again, hysterical crying "cuddle mummy"
Don't know how I'm going to cope.. I start a new job in 4 weeks with a 6 month probation period.. I'm worried about the sleep deprivation 😭😭😭.. Have tried everything, absolutely everything. I took the side of her cot down it was an absolute battle, I tried laying on the floor of her room it just makes her hysterical. I bought the travel cot into my room.. Again hysterical..i will not bring her into my bed, because I did and she just gets used to it and wants to sleep with me and I will not do it.
At my wits end.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sleep deprivation really feels like losing your sanity. You're going to have bad health problems if this continues.

At this age they're extremely clingy and attached to you, which is worse when you're a lone parent. Speaking to adults who have abandonment issues from when they were very young has opened my eyes more to what our little ones are going through. They are very sensitive to the environment and even your own pain and stress, and it freaks them out every more. She may be terrified of losing you too and thus clinging even more for dear life.

Only advice I could give is controlled crying (which worked a charm for me, cry it out was epic fail) and putting a strong bolster pillow between us in bed so I wasn't being assaulted all night. Sounds simplistic but it could be a good compromise to her needing to be close to you and you needing less interrupted sleep. My kid complained of the barrier but I just said "I need it because you kick me in the tummy and I might vomit on you" (as a joke) but it seemed to work!

There is also trying to get her attached to a big fluffy toy for comfort, if you haven't tried that. I found the bigger and more snugglesom the better.

Have you tried getting her tested for allergies or gluten intolerance? She could have a tummy ache or something which is keeping her awake. I would try your GP.

Reigniting my thread. DDs sleep has been utterly horrific past few nights and I'm due to start a new job in an office on Monday.. If she's like this on Sunday night I really don't know what I'll do. She's so exhausted and so am I 😢😢

OP I hugely sympathise. It is sheer torture. Every cell in your body is craving rest.

I don't know if this will be any use to you, but when my son was three he went from sleeping alone calmly to climbing out of his bed and into ours at 1 am every night, thrashing about and kicking us. We were desperate with exhaustion. He was big enough to open doors etc so there was no stopping him.

My mother suggested putting a small mattress on the floor at the end of our bed, and telling him firmly when he came in that that was his bed.

It worked for him. The couple of times he climbed up we told him it was his floor bed or back to his room, and he meekly accepted it, to our amazement. He just wanted the reassurance of being close. After a few months he stopped. It may not be what your daughter needs but it could be worth trying.

Otherwise I second what other posters are saying here. You desperately need your sleep. Can someone take your daughter regularly on a Saturday morning, or for a sleepover one night, or even come to babysit so you can go to bed early with earplugs, knowing that for the next few hours you can switch off? Can you take a last day off from your old job before you start the new one?

Op, what you’re going through sounds tough. Has your GP referred you to a paediatric sleep clinic?

Also, is she happy when she has contact with her father? If so, would he be able to increase contact hours once a week at least to give you a small break?

How are you doing @Pebbledashery?