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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

How do you single mum's cope when really poorly?

19 replies

PurpleOne · 03/11/2007 18:18

Just asking, cos I am starting to get over a bout of gastroenteritis. ExH had one of girls for the night, decided to drop her home at 7AM. I've been in bed for almost 24hrs...I can't cope.
Everytime I move, I feel sick, my tummy hurts...and there's noone here.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 03/11/2007 18:23

not a single mum, but when dh was really ill in hospital and i went down with a sdick bug after the kids had it. i simply laid on the sofa and let the kids watch tv all day.

Scootergrrrl · 03/11/2007 18:25

Yep - do what you have to do (am part-time single mum as DH is in the army). If it means TV and crisps all day, then so be it.
Be nice to yourself and get well soon

Original poster

PurpleOne · 03/11/2007 19:22

Just dragged myself out of bed-hot sweats, waves of nausea etc
My house is bombed out. Fake devil blood spilt on the carpet, crumbs and wrappers everywhere.
I would pick up the phone, but there's noone to call.

OP posts:

noonar · 03/11/2007 19:45

i think if you were seriously ill, had a v young child/ baby and had no one to call, you'd have to ask your health visitor for avenues to follow to get some help.

Original poster

PurpleOne · 03/11/2007 19:54

I don't have an HV anymore. My yungest is 10 and the eldest is 12

OP posts:

OverMyDeadBody · 03/11/2007 20:38

I had this last week, basically I stayed in bed all day drifting in and ot of consciousness while DS who's 4 watched lots of dvds, played on the computer, trashed the house, ate what he could find in the fridge, and looked after me with drinks of water, stroking my hair, cuddling me etc.

It was very sad really, there was no-one (apart from DS!!) to look after me and no one to look after him

tetti · 03/11/2007 21:35

I know how you feel,I had a really bad case of the flu last week,but still had to take my daughter to school as she had been off for over a week with a chest infection.
I felt like fainting on the way there,and as soon as I got back home literally crashed on the bed and got a few hrs sleep before having to pick her up again! You cannot even be ill,can you?:-)

oxocube · 03/11/2007 21:45

Poor you, but at 10 and 12 (my 2 eldest are this age), they can do a lot to help you. Let them fend for themselves food-wise as much as possible (toast, sandwiches, milk, yoghurts etc) and help with the housework and shopping if possible. My 10 year old often pops to the shops, they both take turns to walk the dog, they can answer the phone, put washing in the machine etc. Do the bare minimum, don't feel guilty if they watch loads of telly or play on the Playstation while you drift in and out on the sofa. Let them look after you.

Hope you feel better soon.

SeaShells · 03/11/2007 21:46

Oh I was so ill yesterday, by lunch time I couldn't even move, sickness and horrible stomach cramps, stuck at home alone with DD 3yrs and DD 18mths, I just had to put them infront of the TV with snacks until I was able to get someone round to watch them from teatime until bedtime. By teatime I was in bed and not really consious, just waking to be sick regularly, I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had someone to come to help! I felt better this morning but still not 100% at all, but typically now the Dcs have got it so no time to rest and get better!

Nightynight · 03/11/2007 21:52

I lie on the sofa groaning while the children fix themselves food, put blankets over me and run amok.

Hope you feel better soon.

jellyjelly · 04/11/2007 10:48

This is the only time i feel sorry for myself since i became a single parent and that is when i am really poorly and have to get ds to look after me.

He had a really bad tummy bug which lasted 2 weeks then i got it and now i have the flu. Its been back to back. I feel loads better now than i did but not right still.

I put him in front on the telly on friday and went to sleep till his bedtime then i took him up and then went to bed myslf. It was the only way i could get better. I feel bad that i fell asleep downstairs but it had to be done.

Crisps and lots of tv or a crap dinner is perfectly fine in this situation.

TrinityRhino · 04/11/2007 10:53

Not a single mum here but thursday all night and friday all day I felt like I had been run over and had awful tummy and dreadfully loose bottom.

dh took dd1 to school for me and then had to go to work so dd2 (2) mostly ate chocolate and watched tv and the floor got a battering from felt tips (she didn't mean to but leaves caps off and then leans on them, I usually make her do it at the table) and Gecko (9 months) basically spent all day either bf lying down or eating wotsits in her walker

they were both very good and dd2 kept saying 'you not well mummy' and kissing me

lucykate · 04/11/2007 11:49

i'm not a single mum but before we relocated last year, dh worked away monday-friday for over a year. i remember one awful time when we were all ill, i was sat on the loo with diarrhea with dd sat on my lap, and she was vomiting into a bowl at the same time (sorry tmi )

what i tended to do was make hay while the sun shined, invited lots of dd's friends over for play dates and tea when we were all well, that way, when i'm ill, i have favours to call in, oh and stick them in front of the tv too.

Pinkchampagne · 04/11/2007 11:55

This is something that is panicking me right now!
DS1 was throwing up Friday night, and I am petrified of catching it & trying to cope with both boys at the same time.
It is hard enough when I am feeling well!

vacua · 04/11/2007 11:58

I call on friends if necessary, if ill enough to be hospitalised for example - neiher ex husband or family can be called upon but I do have some lovely friends.

Original poster

PurpleOne · 04/11/2007 13:11

Thanks for all your responses guys, it means a lot.

Laying in bed feeling so guilty, yet exH and his wife didn't want to know?!

At the worst point, I had entrusted my cashcard with the 12 yr DD, as they were so hungry, they had to go and get money out to buy dinner.
They came back with big bags of crisps and biscuits, toilet rolls(!) and tins of chicken soup. Large bottle of Lucozade...how did they know to buy Dioralyte?? I appreciated the bacon and eggs they bought though! I just wish they'd know how to clean up after themselves! Not exaggerating when I say there is mess everywhere! Wish I had some friends and family to rely upon, some of you are so lucky to have that.

OP posts:

colditz · 04/11/2007 13:24

At first sign of illness, get arse to shop and stock up on ready meals and medicine.

Then rely heavily on the telly, computer, and the microwave.

AMAZINWOMAN · 04/11/2007 13:45

Hi purpleone, really hope you feel better soon My kids are also 10 and 12,and last year I had a bad chest infection where I was unable to move or speak.

I had to get my kids to phone for takeaways, sent them to the chip shop and the rest of the time they had to put their own pizza in the oven. then eat using paper plates! I also done my weekly shop online-

the house did get in chaos (and still not back on track!) but the kids have learned a bit of how much needs to be done at home.
Luckily they knew how bad I was and behaved really, really well

Nightynight · 05/11/2007 10:49

hope you are feeling better purpleone.
am smiling at your story of the cashpoint card and supermarket shop though - my children would just LOVE to be let loose with my card and the supermarket

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