Ex is seeing DS if and when he feels like, i want to put in place set times but what is reasonable??

[LittleMissVampireSlayer]

At the moment my ex partner is seeing our ds if and when it's convienent for him, i think there should be more of a routine.

we have argued about this in the past so i want to be prepared next time i approach it so it doesnt result in an row.

i suggested in the past one night at the weekend (fri eve - sat eve, or sat eve - sun eve) as i work full time and like to spend some time with ds at the weekend, plus one night through the week for a few hours but not to stay overnight as ex is not a good time keeper and i know i wouldnt get him back until bedtime the next evening,
plus my ex doesnt help towards nursery fees so if ds misses a day i still have to pay for it.
wouldnt mind him staying overnight w/days so much if he paid his half though.
Is this reasonable access?

which is why i suggested split weekends, so i at least spend one night over the weekend with him

im not saying he cant have one weekend without. please read my post about ds gets clingy to me if ex doesnt see him for couple of weeks, ex has no bond with ds and i thought 1 night every wend for now would make that stronger

which is why I suggested tea or something one night in the week the weekend he doesnt have ds overnight.
Read the bleeding thread woman!

OMG im so engrossed in mumsnet i missed lunch!!! (12pm)

just had an email back for xdp and he has agreeed to my suggestion!! i feel like kissing his feet...

Brilliant, just remember now you'll have to be just as accomodating if he asks you a favour or to change days etc in future.

It's a good sign though, hopefully you'll be able to be good parents to DS and come to agreements as amicably in the future.

I'm pleased for you

Good, hope you manage to keep sorting things out amicably