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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

co-sleeping, is it a problem?

15 replies

Loochyloo · 14/10/2007 21:11

MY ds (3) has just moved into his big bed and has taken to waking up about 4 a.m. and getting into mine. I would v diligently move him out but other night was so knackered just let him stay there. ANd so it's been for about a week, To be honest my bed is easily big enough for both of us. But in the back of my mind am thinking I should get him to stay in his bed so as not to get to attached to me. Or is that just pointless?

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Isababel · 14/10/2007 21:47

I have no idea. DS was much better in his room and his bed for a long time, he certainly slept better. Nowadays he seems to creep in in the early hours of the morning and it doesn't seem to be affecting him.

So we just let him.

Hulababy · 14/10/2007 21:48

It's only a problem if you don't want him there or it is affecting any of your sleep.

MarsLady · 14/10/2007 21:49

apparently 3-5 or is it 2-5 prime times for them to wander in to our beds. Do what works for you. I'd rather sleep personally. As long as DT2 (and it's always DT2) doesn't wake me when he comes in then I don't care. (He's 3.8 btw)

gigglewitch · 14/10/2007 21:52

my two DS have both done the 'sneaking up the bed' think and turn up between DH and me in the early hours. All stopped it after about 6 months or so, just figured for themselves they knew where we were and were ok in own beds.
I now have DD almost 2 who is the new baby bed invader. hey ho.

LilianGish · 14/10/2007 22:07

Dd was the same and I also took the path of least resistance (and most sleep). I had the same concerns as you, but consoled myself with the fact that she wouldn't be doing it when she was 15! She's now six and sleeps right through. I think the phase lasted about a year. If you don't mind I wouldn't worry - he has his own bed and he goes to bed there quite happily, if he wants to snuggle up in the small hours I would just enjoy it.

JoanWilder · 14/10/2007 22:10

as a mummy to dd 16 mths this is a nice thread for the future...think I would let her do as she chooses as its cute to snuggle + they grow up fast enough!

Original poster

Loochyloo · 16/10/2007 20:53

I have to admit it is nice to have a cuddle esp as it is getting a bit cold now and ds isn't really much for cuddles when he's "awake". Thanks for the advice and yes I guess he won't be doing it for that much longer will just chill out about it!

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redpyjamas · 27/10/2007 22:48

For what it's worth, I still sleep in a big bed together with both my children (5 and 6). Can't imagine it any other way. They have each got another bed, but would never choose to sleep in it. Not yet, anyhow.

Debra1981 · 29/10/2007 22:09

my ex tried telling me that co-sleeping was illegal and he was doing me a favour by not reporting it. I'm gonna carry on though, as dd wakes so much more frequently if i do put her back in her bed that it's no good for either of us, i don't think. she is developing her independence during the day, so i sort of expect her to start sleeping longer in her own bed when she's ready.

peachypie · 29/10/2007 22:15

I would make the most of it to be honest, ,my 2, ds6 and dd3 both sneak in to my bed in the early hours, not every night but quite often and i think when they are too old to want to i will miss it.
If they start to keep me awake by moving around too much or they are both in at the same time and it gets a bit squashed i just ship them back to their own beds.
If they feel the need to get in my bed in the night for a bit of reassurance or a huggle then i wont dent them that. They are only little for such a short period of time.

Catnkids · 29/10/2007 22:15

Blimey I hope co-sleeping is alright because two of my kids are always sneaking into my bed, they are 10 and 8!!! I don't mind cos I think they need the comfort of me nearby and the bed is big enough for us and sometimes they are both in there!! They've always been able to sleep in my/our bed from being newborn.

tetti · 03/11/2007 21:47

Co sleeping is definetly not illegal,so I'd definetly not listen to your ex.
My girls always sleep in my bed,it's been like that since her dad left 3 months ago.
I don't really mind as I know she feels more safe with me rather than sleeping in her own room.
I will try to get her into her own bed at some point though:-)

RachelG · 04/11/2007 14:33

Co-sleeping is not only totally legal, it is recommended by many childcare experts. It is thought to children to feel loved and secure, which makes them more (rather than less) independent in the future.

Obviously there's no need to drag children from their own beds to yours if they're sleeping happily alone, but for poor sleepers it's considered perfectly appropriate by many people.

Do what feels right to you.

PurpleOne · 07/11/2007 22:19

My Dcs are 12 and 10 and we still co sleep on the weekends. I have to tell the DCs to take turns though. Friday night os DD1 and Saturday night is DD2
Put on a dvd and snuggle up with the fleece blankets and hot water bottle.

And TBH, I actually get a better nights sleep with someone to cuggle up to. And they don't snore as much as a man would!
it's definitely not illegal either. If it was, they'd have to drag me kicking and screaming, cos we all enjoy it on the weekends.

The only rule...is NO SCHOOL NIGHTS

Tanee58 · 08/11/2007 18:51

Co-sleeping is fine - dd and I did it from when she was little until we moved house last year - when she was 14!! this was partly because her father and I had a weird marriage (he slept on the sofa all that time, his choice, not mine, needless to say, we divorced eventually) and we were in a one-bed flat with no room to put up a separate bed. We were quite cosy, it certainly helped on cold winter nights, though I have to say she was very happy to get her own room last year - and dp and I to get our privacy, too .

Basically - don't worry about it. It's not illegal, and like breastfeeding for long periods, I'm sure it seals the bond between parent and child.

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