Single parent life hacks!

[Niquos85]

Hi everyone!

I've actually been separated for a year and a half so feel like I should be on top of things! However, as I have 2 out of 3 kids with CAMHS input and a non cooperative DH, I feel like I am drowning! Please hit me with your best single parent tips for nailing day to day life! Thanks x

• get shopping delivered
• milkman for milk, eggs and dairy extras. Although expensive, it is cheaper than a trip to the supermarket.
• get kids to do as much as possible in the house - they can pour milk and cereal from very young, strip beds, put their dirty clothes in a basket, put clean washing in drawers, put wet towel on a rail etc, if you are relentless about this, it eventually becomes automatic. As they get older, bigger stuff such as loading and unloading the dishwasher - can’t remember the last time I did that!
• when I was hard up, I saved £2 coins to try and give myself a little buffer. Now not so hard up - my £2 jar is emptied annually with the stipulation that I must buy something for myself that I absolutely don’t need. Usually a handbag!
• only buy clothes in sales for everyone
• If something goes wrong, YouTube is a great place to start to find a solution. Also useful for DIY jobs.
• build a relationship with a local handyman, car mechanic etc and consider insurance such as that provided by British Gas Homecare to deal with household emergencies. Get a breakdown service if you have a car.

@Niquos85 would you mind sharing any of your self care list? I realise it’s unique to you but have realised I’m pretty rubbish at it. Mine so far is podcast, bath, read, walk, skincare regime.

Lovely thread.

I have 3 kids 7yrs and 6 yr twins. Big one being assessed for ASD. All their school uniforms are similar but different sizes so I have colour coded coat hangers for each child and a coat rail downstairs where school uniform lives. So when I’m sorting washing I sort straight on to the hangers and onto the rack. Then I have one of those 3 large compartment hanging storage things also on the rack so their other washing gets sorted into there and they can put it away. Even if I have to do the putting away it gets it off the table.

I’m jealous of the freezers some people have that can store multiple loaves of bread!

[quote Nefelibata86]@Niquos85 would you mind sharing any of your self care list? I realise it’s unique to you but have realised I’m pretty rubbish at it. Mine so far is podcast, bath, read, walk, skincare regime.[/quote]
What makes YOU happy?

Reading
TV
Beauty
Adrenaline
Exercise
Baking
.... picking you nose!

It really is about what YOU enjoy.

Not self care. Such a modern daft term. Just setting aside a bit of time where you do something you enjoy. Period

* I’m jealous of the freezers some people have that can store multiple loaves of bread!*

Why would to go need multiple loaves?!

I have one small load in my freezer. If I run out, I take out from freezer, and then buy a load the next day!

Definitely recommend building relationships with local tradesmen.

They are also great for doing handyman stuff for me. And no call out charges etc.

Recommendations from friends are great.

Load should read loaf!

Great post! Love the suggestions x

@Sodamncold

* I’m jealous of the freezers some people have that can store multiple loaves of bread!*

Why would to go need multiple loaves?!

I have one small load in my freezer. If I run out, I take out from freezer, and then buy a load the next day!

I'd imagine because they don't want to have to go to the shop as regularly?

I think someone mentioned it because they had managed to buy several loaves of very reduced posh bread.

It doesn’t have to be bread tho, I’m just jealous of the freezer space. I could fit a bigger one in but it would have to be somewhere weird like in the living room / bedroom.

😂maybe i just need to ditch convention and go for it...

parallax80 I got a small chest freezer off Facebook for £20 a few weeks ago. It's in the garage and definately makes things easier. I am considering whether there is somewhere in the house it could go unobtrusively.

@Sodamncold Thanks that's a helpful way of putting it. Reminds me that another approach was to think about what I liked to do as a child when there weren't the same responsibilities or time restraints I have now. These had left me pretty out of touch with the things that make me happy

We have a cereal dispenser, only thing Dd asked for for her birthday which is brilliant and prevents too much mess in the morning. Also since she was about 5 it's been her job to make breakfast for both of us at the weekend. She loves doing this as it makes her feel grown up and as she's gotten older it's changed from cereal with a spillage of milk to deal with, to beans on toast and a cup of tea which she brings me in bed.

Think my top hack is writing in a journal every day - it acts a bit like a partner in helping me order my thoughts and solve problems. Sounds mildly tragic but equally it’s growing the skill of self sufficiency.

I use it to make sense if my emotions, prioritise tasks, stay aware of my goals etc etc.

Recently I started a relationship but wasn’t completely sure about it. Rather than being indecisive for days or weeks, I wrote a few pages about him and it became crystal clear (though a bit sad) that I needed to end it.

So it’s a time saver and emotional support.

This post is sponsored by journals4u.com

@Nefelibata86 Mine has anything on there that makes me happy/calm/more relaxed. Having music on in the kitchen while I'm cooking, listening to podcasts while I clean, reading a book in the bath, doing my nails, face masks (not corona ones🤣), having a nice coffee from my coffee machine and reading a magazine for 10 mins while the kids are occupied, headspace app (just got a free subscription and it's brilliant!), exercise. Exercise is so major to me that I'm trying to incorporate it with the kids, so they will scoot/skate/cycle and I will run. Watching comedy as that always makes me feel better and stops me focussing too much on how difficult my day may have been x

Thanks @Niquos85 interesting to see a cross over in interests. You also reminded me of the headspace app. Used to enjoy that but deleted it to make space on my phone and would like to download again. Take care

Having bored even myself with complaints that I couldn’t go to the gym after xh left, I though ok let’s sort this and I bought a load of exercise equipment for the house - treadmill (surprisingly cheap), exercise bike, mini trampoline, weights.

Apart from the treadmill it’s all quiet enough to do when they’re in bed.

Consequently I’m in better shape than I would be if I had a man living here. Silver linings! It also helps that I’m too fidgetty to sit and watch tv alone (can do it easily if someone’s with me) so I multitask

I have all my bills, including insurances, dentist/hygienist, haircuts etc coming out from a specific bank account. I just feed that account £500 every month and never take money out of it, even if I overpaid, say. This way I’m not stuck the months when the car insurance is due, or I need to service the car/boiler etc.

I do this too @BuddhaAtSea. It’s the only way I can manage my money. I have several accounts on the go. Fixed Monthly bills (broadband, electric etc) bills that vary on frequency, (like car repairs, heating oil) and then a grocery account too.

Brilliant thread with some great tips, thanks all!

Mine would be, Self Care! At basic and deeper levels. If it all gets too much, seek out counselling, there are various routes to getting it free if necessary, and by video is much more common these days.