Removing my ex-partner from birth certificate

[Swlondon123]

Hi ladies,

Can anyone help me please?

I am thinking about completing the C1 form and going to court to try and remove my ex partner on the birth certificate who has parental rights.

I only knew my ex-partner for 3 weeks and then I got pregnant, during my pregnancy I was subject to a lot of emotional, and psychological abuse. When I was ready to give birth, my ex started to ring lots of health professionals claiming I have borderline personality disorder which triggered the midwife to make a referral to social services as she was concerned about a newborn being born soon which could have made our dysfunctional relationship even worse.

Anyway the social services came to talk to us and made the conclusion that I am in a coercive and controlling relationship and they put the child on a protection plan under category of risk of emotional abuse.

I cannot believe that I was so naive, gullible and stupid to not to think there are such nasty people out there who are capable of domestic violence in order to control and display power over their partners. I always thought of domestic abuse as beating someone until they are black and blue.

So now I wish to remove him of his parental rights, I want him to continue to have a relationship with the child, but I do not want him to control me through my child as he has parental rights and 50% of parental decisions have to be run by him. I am afraid he will manipulate and use this as a means to control me in the future.

Do I have a chance in hell to remove his PR from birth certificate?

I have since fled his flat and I am not living with him anymore (I was advised to leave my social services) , he hasn't had time to build a relationship with our son who is 3 months old, so do I stand any chance of removing his PR?

Thank you so much for your help.

I was hurrendously physically and sexually abused by my ex. He would do the bearings in front of the children and they wouldn't even consider removing his PR. You're in lala land if you think this will happen. I am very sorry for your situation but it is unheard off unless there has been serious physical and sexual abuse towards a child.

are you French? Can you contact a French solicitor and see about getting residency for your child in France? It might be a case of its better to ask forgiveness than permission

And if he is so abusive he shouldn't see your child

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

I don't know about moving but you definitely don't have to involve him in any decisions. Just because he has PR doesn't mean you have to run anything by him. Refuse to speak to him, refuse him contact with the child, block him on everything, if he's bothered he can go to court and get a contact order. He probably won't. If he doesn't then go ahead and quietly move. If he kicks up a bug fuss and goes to court for contact then he'll probably do the same for your moving, so test the waters with contact first.

But I'm with you OP, I wish that women from abusive relationships had the power to remove the abuser from the BC. I wish abusers, absent dad's, and those who withhold maintance, automatically lost PR. It won't happen because that would involve us prioritising women and children over men, but if I ruled the world that's how it would be.

I agree with you, women don't get prioritised enough in this world. I am from Eastern Europe originally and thank god I am in England. Very grateful to be in this country as the country where I am from originally domestic abuse is not an offence. In my country they prioritise "family" over the rights of an individual.

There was a story in the news about a woman who was taken into the woods by her husband and he chopped both of her hands off in a jealous rage, something like that would never happen in the UK- thank god. But still even in the UK we have a long way to go if we ever want there to be any change.

You are right my ex will probably not go to court, you need balls for that, he might of course in the future who knows, but hopefully by then he would have met another partner/victim and forgotten all about me- fingers crossed.

If you have an address or email address that you know he won't bother with. Send a letter or email notifying him of your intention of moving by this date. Send it signed for delivery if you go be post so he either has to sign for the letter or go pick it up from the post office, which ideally he might well not bother to do.

If you do get contact, do say much but reiterate that you feel this is the best interest of the child and that you will be doing it by this date.

Basically notify him (so not abduction), but force him to take it to court if he objects.

And at least be honest with yourself. The aim is to break the relationship/not allow the relationship to establish.

Sorry you won’t be able to remove PR

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8785715/Detectives-offer-20-000-reward-international-hunt-boys-six-five-three.html

What happens when you go abroad with your kids illegally.

Do not do this. You will be arrested due to the hague convention and probably lose your child.
I am in an EU Country, f I try to return to England and take my son it will happen to me too. I have spoken to many lawyers about this situation.

Sorry op, didn't see your not allowing contact. So it's up to him to apply via the courts for contact. I hope he doesn't bother. That case in the paper was very different to yours. The child was abducted by his father.

You could gradually spend more time in France......

You would need to apply to court for permission to remove the child from the country for an extended period of time

Personally i would consult a solicitor

also FWIW my friend moved up to Scotland from the Midlands to get away from her abusive ex and he could do nothing about it

@slipperywhensparticus

also FWIW my friend moved up to Scotland from the Midlands to get away from her abusive ex and he could do nothing about it

That's not true, you can file a specific issue order if the parent leaves the country and it will negatively affect the relationship with your child.

The courts might decide its OK based on other reasons, especially if dad doesn't really get involved in the child's life when they live closer anyway but if a dad is trying to be in his child's life and then mum moves to another country then there is definitely something he can do about it.

I think so many people on here are deluded because their ex chose not to go to court or seek legal action, but that doesn't mean that they couldn't have if they were so inclined. OP be very careful about listening to legal advice on threads like this, Speak to a solicitor to discuss your options or you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble.

also FWIW my friend moved up to Scotland from the Midlands to get away from her abusive ex and he could do nothing about it

Not true.... My friend moved from SW England to Scotland on seperation, exDH took her to court and she was ordered to return within 14days with the child. She had to stay there until arrangements order was sorted.

I have been through a similar situation. If you are genuinely concerned for your child's wellbeing then you need to stop contact, he will then need to apply to the court for a child arrangement order. You can't say you think the dad is a risk and then let your child stay with him.

He might get supervised contact in a contact centre some are free and some you have to pay for, if successful then it will become unsupervised contact and you go from there. The courts at the moment are jam packed and this will take a long time to sort out.

So if a sex abuser starts behaving at a contact centre, they can eventually have unsupervised contact?

The child can't win.

@XmasIsNear

So if a sex abuser starts behaving at a contact centre, they can eventually have unsupervised contact?

The child can't win.

No, thats not the case you've jumped to a massive conclusion.

I feel for you because down the line you will question yourself, abuse is not always obvious when it’s not physical.

I think you need to take out a protective injunction so that you have a legal basis to keep him away from you and your little one.

Have a read here;

www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence/eligibility-non-molestation

Please try to get some good legal advise you are in good time and appear to be doing everything right. Take care and shout out to this community if you need to vent x

You cannot remove him from the birth certificate. That is a legal document and imo every child has a right to know who there parents are when they are old enough to have their birth cert (and I say this as a child who has a father who treated their mother in almost the same way you describe). However you absolutely CAN go to court to petition the removal of his parental rights if theres risk of abuse/detriment to the child.

Sorry but you don't stand a chance in hell

What you need to remember is an abusive man doesn't mean an abusive father. He has to be given the chance to prove his ability. You dont have to have any contact with him, there are ways amd means of limiting all contact between yourselves but its like you will need a court order to facilitate it

Hello I'm a 36 year old mum with a 9 month old girl in foster care who is going to be rehabilitated home soon and I am having unannounced visits. Do social services have rights to do unannounced visits on a weekend

@MissMaple82

What you need to remember is an abusive man doesn't mean an abusive father. He has to be given the chance to prove his ability. You dont have to have any contact with him, there are ways amd means of limiting all contact between yourselves but its like you will need a court order to facilitate it

What about an abusive man with a gambling problem who has gambled £20,000 this year, an alcoholic whose been banned for 3 years from driving, someone who has an extensive criminal record, and someone who admitted having suicidal thoughts in April this year. Sounds like such a catch eh? He is a dangerous man and the less contact he has with my child the better. Just because he is named on birth certificate doesn't make him a good parent or father.

@MissMaple82

What you need to remember is an abusive man doesn't mean an abusive father. He has to be given the chance to prove his ability. You dont have to have any contact with him, there are ways amd means of limiting all contact between yourselves but its like you will need a court order to facilitate it

Maybe your parenting expectations are low but mine are very high. For someone to be abusive to a woman I very much doubt he will be super dad of the year.

Please read 'Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men' by Lundy Bancroft. Specifically the abusive men as parents chapter.

Helpful info on the law and relocation

rightsofwomen.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Children-and-the-law-holidays-and-relocation-DIGITAL.pdf

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/travel-and-relocation/

Both Rights of Women and Child Law Advice have helplines you could call.

You should also be eligible for legal aid as you have evidence of domestic abuse.