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Original poster

Removing my ex-partner from birth certificate

83 replies

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:10

Hi ladies,

Can anyone help me please?

I am thinking about completing the C1 form and going to court to try and remove my ex partner on the birth certificate who has parental rights.

I only knew my ex-partner for 3 weeks and then I got pregnant, during my pregnancy I was subject to a lot of emotional, and psychological abuse. When I was ready to give birth, my ex started to ring lots of health professionals claiming I have borderline personality disorder which triggered the midwife to make a referral to social services as she was concerned about a newborn being born soon which could have made our dysfunctional relationship even worse.

Anyway the social services came to talk to us and made the conclusion that I am in a coercive and controlling relationship and they put the child on a protection plan under category of risk of emotional abuse.

I cannot believe that I was so naive, gullible and stupid to not to think there are such nasty people out there who are capable of domestic violence in order to control and display power over their partners. I always thought of domestic abuse as beating someone until they are black and blue.

So now I wish to remove him of his parental rights, I want him to continue to have a relationship with the child, but I do not want him to control me through my child as he has parental rights and 50% of parental decisions have to be run by him. I am afraid he will manipulate and use this as a means to control me in the future.

Do I have a chance in hell to remove his PR from birth certificate?

I have since fled his flat and I am not living with him anymore (I was advised to leave my social services) , he hasn't had time to build a relationship with our son who is 3 months old, so do I stand any chance of removing his PR?

Thank you so much for your help.

OP posts:

toomanyspiderplants · 28/09/2020 20:15

www.gov.uk/correct-birth-registration

you would have to prove he is not the natural father

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:18

He is the natural father.

OP posts:

ApolloandDaphne · 28/09/2020 20:23

I don't think you can remove someone's parental rights unless your child is adopted or in permanent foster care. There are many terrible parents out there who still retain parental rights for their children. If he is the biological father he stays on the birth certificate.

Changedmynameagain1 · 28/09/2020 20:25

Honestly seek legal advice, it’s not that simple as you don’t wish for him to have rights anymore, See the case law below..........

‘ The case law in this area shows that removal of parental responsibility is possible in extreme cases but should only be ordered when it is necessary to protect the child and family from serious emotional and physical harm, this in effect, is the court ensuring that the child’s welfare is paramount.

The leading case law in this area shows that removal of parental responsibility has only been ordered where it has been acquired by an unmarried father. These cases include examples such as where a father was found guilty of inflicting grievous bodily harm to the child (Re P (Terminating parental responsibility) [1995] 3 FCR 753]), where a father pleaded guilty for committing sexual assault against the child’s siblings (CW v SG [2013] All ER (D) 117 (Apr)) and where a father was imprisoned for extreme domestic violence (A v D (Parental Responsibility) [2013] EWHC 2963 (Fam))”

The threshold is so high for the removal of PR, although your situation isn’t great at least, it doesn’t reach the threshold for removal of PR

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:26

But I was not aware that I was in a domestically abusive relationship, he will now use my son for the rest of my life to manipulate me and to restrict me from doing what I want. Can the courts not make an exception in my situation?

OP posts:

itsmschanandlerbong · 28/09/2020 20:30

Why are you allowing him contact with your child if the domestic abuse is so bad that you want to remove his PR? I'm not doubting or minimising the abuse you have experienced but I just don't understand why you're allowing him contact.

Doyoumind · 28/09/2020 20:30

If he is having a relationship with your son your chances are zero. You have to work within the system to maintain as much control as you can. You are the mother to a very young child. This is the best time to be putting everything in place to secure this control. Do not be bullied by him. He does have a right to be part of decision making but if you are making sensible decisions he would have to take you to court and show they aren't good decisions to have any impact.

Changedmynameagain1 · 28/09/2020 20:31

Honestly no, the threshold is so high, family court just don’t make exceptions when dealing with this type of stuff. Legal advise is your best bet

ShalomToYouJackie · 28/09/2020 20:31

The father's name can't be removed from a child's birth entry if he's the biological father of the child. A father's name can only be removed from a child's birth entry if it has been established in court that he's not the biological father of the child.
That's from Citizens Advice

Doyoumind · 28/09/2020 20:32

OP thousands of women have been in your situation - myself included. There are ways to make the situation better. This doesn't need to be a catastrophe.

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:32

I am not allowing him any contact.

He has not had any time to develop a relationship with his son as I had to flee.

If I cannot remove him from birth certificate how can I limit his responsibilities as much as possible?

OP posts:

jdoejnr1 · 28/09/2020 20:34

There are other option available but taking him off the BC isn't one of them.

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:34

@Doyoumind

OP thousands of women have been in your situation - myself included. There are ways to make the situation better. This doesn't need to be a catastrophe.

How did you make your situation better?

At the time I thought that "unknown" on the birth certificate of my son would not be nice for him,

In hindsight had I know I was being abused I would obviously never have put his name down, but I didn't....

OP posts:

Changedmynameagain1 · 28/09/2020 20:34

What responsibilities does he have? Ultimately contact is in your court, you can refuse and advise him to seek legal advice if he wants to see your child. You can insist on supervised and go through that route.

If your child is on a CP plan your social worker will be able to advise too as to the best route.

Sunnydaysstillhere · 28/09/2020 20:34

I know a murderer and a csa who is still allowed PR and his name on bc... Sadly..

Redwinestillfine · 28/09/2020 20:35

I understand that you want to avoid him controlling you but it comes across that more bothered about this than by an abusive man having a relationship with your child. I would focus on stopping that first. Can you go for sole custody?

StitchInTimeSavesNine · 28/09/2020 20:37

I'd move far away so that it's a lot of effort for him to have access to your child.

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:38

Indirect contact would be amazing, just letters and birthday cards haha.

He is very abusive, I can imagine him being abusive to his son too. He is abusive to close people around him, including his poor mum. How he speaks to her is absolutely vile.

OP posts:

Doyoumind · 28/09/2020 20:39

I still have to deal with my abusive ex and it isn't always easy but I have spent years minimising the impact he has on me and DC. I've been to court more than once. It's horrible but it's survivable. He can't just get what he wants so don't let him make you feel he can. Look into the Freedom Programme.

The child stays with you. Any contact he wants needs to be sought through court.

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:41

@Doyoumind

The child stays with you. Any contact he wants needs to be sought through court.

How old is your little one? What contact arrangements do you have in place? Did you live together for long with your ex-partner?

OP posts:

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:42

Yes I completed the Freedom Programme online- as recommended by Women's Aid, too late in my case though!

OP posts:

ApolloandDaphne · 28/09/2020 20:47

You say in your OP that you want him to continue to have a relationship with his child which is at odds with you wanting to remove his PR. The PR relate to the child and only the child, they have no relation to your relationship with your ex. If he wants contact let him seek it through the court.

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:50

Yes he can have a relationship but I want to remove him from BC as I don't want to talk to him re the child when making important decisions.

Also I wish to move abroad to join my family in France permanently- he will of course not allow that to happen, what do I need to do in order to achieve this? I don't think it needs to be as drastic as removing him from BC.

OP posts:

wishing4sun · 28/09/2020 20:53

Mine was Not the same situation at all. but I sort advice for removing my sons father from his birth certificate, you can not do it unless they forfeit there rights or in my case admit to massive fraud.

purplejungle · 28/09/2020 20:56

Seek legal advice. V unlikely you would meet threshold to remove from bc but there are other ways to limit his parental responsibility.

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