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Original poster

Removing my ex-partner from birth certificate

83 replies

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 20:10

Hi ladies,

Can anyone help me please?

I am thinking about completing the C1 form and going to court to try and remove my ex partner on the birth certificate who has parental rights.

I only knew my ex-partner for 3 weeks and then I got pregnant, during my pregnancy I was subject to a lot of emotional, and psychological abuse. When I was ready to give birth, my ex started to ring lots of health professionals claiming I have borderline personality disorder which triggered the midwife to make a referral to social services as she was concerned about a newborn being born soon which could have made our dysfunctional relationship even worse.

Anyway the social services came to talk to us and made the conclusion that I am in a coercive and controlling relationship and they put the child on a protection plan under category of risk of emotional abuse.

I cannot believe that I was so naive, gullible and stupid to not to think there are such nasty people out there who are capable of domestic violence in order to control and display power over their partners. I always thought of domestic abuse as beating someone until they are black and blue.

So now I wish to remove him of his parental rights, I want him to continue to have a relationship with the child, but I do not want him to control me through my child as he has parental rights and 50% of parental decisions have to be run by him. I am afraid he will manipulate and use this as a means to control me in the future.

Do I have a chance in hell to remove his PR from birth certificate?

I have since fled his flat and I am not living with him anymore (I was advised to leave my social services) , he hasn't had time to build a relationship with our son who is 3 months old, so do I stand any chance of removing his PR?

Thank you so much for your help.

OP posts:

omg35 · 28/09/2020 20:58

You've clearly had a horrible time with this man but is he a bad dad? If he were you wouldn't be keen for him to have a relationship? Courts won't care about how he's treated you- it's about your child and nothing else I'm afraid.

You will likely find the situation will improve in time with regards to him trying to control you but you'll need to separate how he's treated you from his relationship with his son

caringcarer · 28/09/2020 21:03

Can you move away and not tell him where OP?

Starlightstarbright1 · 28/09/2020 21:05

Op..

You still csman do whatever however if he rskes you to court you have to prove it is in the vest interest of tge child.

What have Ss advised re contact? Don't give anything in terns on contact you aren't comfortable with as it us harder to rake back.

You don't need to pass everything through him - injections due book her in. Nursery your choice - it is only when it gets to school he can have a say.
Yes if you want to move to France he would get a say. Don't encourage anything us tge best response, anytime he cancels contact document ut and keave him to it.

SoloMummy · 28/09/2020 21:10

Without losing extensive serious direct risk, you really stand no chance of removing PR.
You have more chance of ensuring that he is only permitted supervised contsct, but even then that's a hard stretch.

2bazookas · 28/09/2020 21:18

@Swlondon123

He is the natural father.

When you registered the birth of the child, you registered him as the father. That is a fact that will stay in govt records and on the childs birth certificate for life.

No.you can' t have his name removed from it.

Iwantacookie · 28/09/2020 21:21

Sorry op but sadly you cant.
I dont want to get into my situation but one of my dc can only see his child under supervision and I can't take him off the birth certificate.

Iwantacookie · 28/09/2020 21:26

Can only see his dad not child

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 21:29

@Iwantacookie

Sorry op but sadly you cant. I dont want to get into my situation but one of my dc can only see his child under supervision and I can't take him off the birth certificate.

have you tried to remove dad from bc?

also can you ex challenge supervised contact and make it unsupervised?

OP posts:

BilboBercow · 28/09/2020 21:30

OP as others have said removing him from the birth certificate just isn't possible. You can move to France if he doesn't get wind of it. I got my dd a passport without her father's signature. He's in the birth certificate but wasn't around to sign it

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 21:33

I can't move to France without permission, he will apply to court for police to bring child back, it's child abduction otherwise, and France is part of Hague convention.

OP posts:

omg35 · 28/09/2020 21:39

Yes, even if you get supervised contact he can challenge this. You need to find a way to manage the situation as I don't think there's a way out here. You will find a way to manage tho like all of us did but you do need to separate how he treated you from his ability to parent his child. You're right that he's a scum bag if he treated you as you say, but sadly it's not as relevant to his ability to parent as you think it is

combatbarbie · 28/09/2020 21:40

He can only 0bject if he knows when and where you are going. On babies passport application you just write in the notes section that you have no contact with the father.

jdoejnr1 · 28/09/2020 22:19

@combatbarbie

He can only 0bject if he knows when and where you are going. On babies passport application you just write in the notes section that you have no contact with the father.

Yeah, don't do this! Parental Abduction is taken very seriously and is likely to result in jail time. No, domestic abuse isn't a defence. Go through the family courts and do it properly.

SoundWithoutAName · 28/09/2020 22:38

If he doesn't give you permission to take DC to France you go to court to gain permission. Dsis wanted to relocate to Australia, her children's father said no, went to court. DC had had no contact with their father for 18 months by this point. The judge said they could go.

caringcarer · 28/09/2020 22:38

Can you move away and not tell him where OP?

DangerMouse17 · 28/09/2020 22:43

Just move OP. Dont tell him where. If he finds you he can start a legal process re contact, if he's that bothered which I doubt he will be when he realises he cant control you anymore and he might have to spend some money...

Original poster

Swlondon123 · 28/09/2020 22:48

@DangerMouse17

This made me

you are spot on there right!

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 28/09/2020 22:58

I agree that if your ex is the biological father he can't be removed from the birth certificate. I don't know what his rights are regarding stopping you from moving to France. A poster advises going for sole custody. That s probably the best approach under the circumstances.

ElspethFlashman · 28/09/2020 23:06

Surely by the time he gets his shit together to try to bring the child back from France, the child would have an established life there with established family relationships. And one could debate it was not in the child's interest to be sent back to a country they have no lived in since they were an infant.

It depends on the attitude of the French courts of course but I know in my country, Ireland, judges have historically been very reluctant to send children back to the UK in these situations, if the child has an established life here, goes to school here, has grandparents here etc.

"Hague" doesn't mean the courts will necessarily side with the plaintiff.

jdoejnr1 · 29/09/2020 07:44

@DangerMouse17

Err...not quite. The police get involved and get a European arrest warrant and the OP ends up as a wanted person on all police systems in Europe. She likely gets arrest and remanded into custody and child taken to care in whichever country they were caught. OP is extradited back to the UK to face trial and likely receives jail time. DO NOT DO IT! It sounds like a quick fix but you will spend the rest of you life in hiding and will never be able to return to the UK.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 29/09/2020 08:08

I don't know about moving but you definitely don't have to involve him in any decisions. Just because he has PR doesn't mean you have to run anything by him. Refuse to speak to him, refuse him contact with the child, block him on everything, if he's bothered he can go to court and get a contact order. He probably won't. If he doesn't then go ahead and quietly move. If he kicks up a bug fuss and goes to court for contact then he'll probably do the same for your moving, so test the waters with contact first.

But I'm with you OP, I wish that women from abusive relationships had the power to remove the abuser from the BC. I wish abusers, absent dad's, and those who withhold maintance, automatically lost PR. It won't happen because that would involve us prioritising women and children over men, but if I ruled the world that's how it would be.

BedknobsNoBroomsticks · 29/09/2020 08:13

I wouldn't just move, I would seek legal advice and go to court and ask to move. Doing it the non-legal way will get you into trouble.

Iwantacookie · 29/09/2020 09:02

I asked in my divorce and told my solicitor everything she said that I've got no chance so I dropped it.

I have no say in the supervised contact it is nothing to do with me it was a decision taken by social services and tbh I'm not fighting them when he screwed up his own chances to be a proper dad.
I'm happy with what's in place tbh it gives me peace of mind.

Iwantacookie · 29/09/2020 09:04

Oops sorry I mis read I thought you asked if I could challenge the supervision.
He could but without going into too much detail by the time he actually got anywhere our child will be over 16 so the supervision wont apply anymore anyway.

Cheesypea · 29/09/2020 09:10

What's happening regarding contact now?

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