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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

DD travelling by train to Dads

15 replies

Candyfloss9 · 24/09/2020 21:23

My DD (6) has court ordered contact with her dad EOW and half the holidays. He lives over 100 miles away and during lockdown he collected her by car but now he wants to take her on the train (almost 2 hours) and cycle to/from the train station so the journey would be almost 3 hours each way after a long school week. Anyway my concern is that with the infection rate on the increase, do you think it’s reasonable to travel by train with a child for contact. He’s now refusing to travel by car and says his new wife needs the car on that day which is strange as she has her own car. I’d welcome your views.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Doublechins · 24/09/2020 21:36

I think it's really up to him how he chooses to travel with his daughter. Train journeys are exciting for kids as well she'll probably love it

lilmishap · 24/09/2020 21:46

No drunk drivers, no risk of car crash and they can enjoy the journey over a table looking at each other. A long train journey isn't the same as a crowded tube usually (unless he's travelling rush hour).
Also no stopping at motorway services for food and toilets.

As politely as I can put this, it's none of your business because she is also his daughter and it is his time.

Why does it bother you? I presume she's at school?

Ohalrightthen · 24/09/2020 21:47

YABU, it's none of your business how he chooses to travel with her on his own time.

Augustbreeze · 24/09/2020 21:50

Well I guess he must have his reasons! As long as he's observing social distancing as much as is possible on public transport you have no grounds to protest. I realise this may be difficult for you.

Pipandmum · 24/09/2020 21:52

Goodness I thought you meant on her own!
I think its fine - they will be together for real daddy/daughter bonding.

ScottishStottie · 24/09/2020 21:54

On initial reading i thought ypu meant on her own, but if hes with her, then once he has collected her from you, he is allowed to make decisions. Its not like hes taking her with him to a crack den, they're going om a train... You know hes a parent as well yes?

Justmuddlingalong · 24/09/2020 21:57

Do you think he's being awkward as he knows you'll be unhappy about his travel plans, and therefore will refuse to send your DD with him?

Original poster

Candyfloss9 · 24/09/2020 21:59

Thank you for your comments and reassurance. I guess I’m stressed, anxious, overreacting about her picking up Covid on the train and giving it to her classroom bubble etc. Wish everything was back to normal again. Thank you again xx

OP posts:

lilmishap · 24/09/2020 22:00

It's court ordered contact, We don't know if OP took him to court to regulate contact or he took her to court for regular contact.
But refusing to send DD would be totally unfair on her and unreasonable enough to go back to court over.

Original poster

Candyfloss9 · 24/09/2020 22:09

It’s a Child Arrangement Order which I took him to court as there were a number of occasions he did not bring her home on a Sunday evening and she had school the next day. There’s a penal order in place should he refuse to bring her back. No, I wouldn’t refuse contact over travelling by train. I just wanted to gain others views about Covid risks on public transport.

OP posts:

mediumperiperi · 25/09/2020 16:05

Do they travel at rush hour?
My understanding is that many trains are much more quiet than normal and a 1 hour bike ride sounds fun.
It depends what your dd is like but I can't imagine 1 hour bike rides going well if it's typical winter weather (dark, rainy, windy) at the other end but that's his problem to solve.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 25/09/2020 16:18

He's being selfish.
He has a car & it's also cheaper for him to drive than pay for train tickets.
Where are the bikes going to be left so they can cycle home?
Does he really want to cycle home in wet or stormy weather? Also its getting darker in the evenings.
Does he really expect a 6yr old to cycle for 45 mins if the route home has hills?
What happens when he turns round & says he's missed the train to bring her back or the trains are delayed or stopped for any reason?
It would also be more comfortable & quicker for DD to travel by car.
And that's a pile of shit saying his wife needs his car when she has her own.

He is being a selfish arse just to make things difficult for you. He's hoping that you will refuse this arrangement so he can take you to court & say you won't let him see your DD.
However if he tries to take it to court he'll be laughed out of the courtroom that's if his solicitor doesn't fall over from laughing first.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 25/09/2020 16:20

Also had another thought, has he been banned from driving & not told you?

BiggerBoat1 · 25/09/2020 16:21

Surely its up to him. You do know there are people in the world who don't have a car and have to travel by train right?
She'll probably quite enjoy it - she can chat with her Dad more if he's not having to concentrate on driving. Sounds nice!

saraclara · 25/09/2020 16:25

Trains are so quiet at the moment. I wouldn't give the Covid risk much of a thought at all. I usually have a carriage to myself as I travel outside rush hour. And on the rare occasion I've been uncomfortable (a guy sitting across the carriage from me with his mask under his nose, for instance) I was able to simply move to somewhere else with no-one around me.

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