Help headlice

[hayleym1987]

So every single time my children spend more than one night at their fathers and his wife they come back with headlice! They've just got back from 3 weeks at his and they are riddled their hair was clear before they left I have spent every night they are with me checking their hair cause they keep getting them after visiting him, they were home 2 whole weeks before going to his for 3 and I'd treated them twice and gone through every night there was nothing for a whole week before they left, everytime I bring it up with him it's usually school his excuse but we've been in lockdown and they haven't seen anyone but me and him and his wife, I don't have them and neither does my youngest (different father) he's now saying I don't treat them correctly and it's my fault I've spent over £90 in lotions over the past 2 months and hours with but comb I don't know what to do anymore and find it so unfair he won't even acknowledge that they are getting them when with him

I must say my heart sank when I saw your post. DS had them 3 times in the first term when he started preschool and they make my stomach crawl. I was thinking that during lockdown everyone would be forced to treat their kids hair and headlice would be a thing of the past! Could you offer to go through his hair? Are there any other DC they have contact with when at his?

Perhaps next time you drop them off, could you ask him to watch as you go through each child's hair with the nit comb to show him there are no lice there. And then do the same when you pick them up and see if they have acquired any guests during their stay.

Maybe repost in children's health or AIBU to get more advice. Good luck!

@ThursdayAfterNext

I must say my heart sank when I saw your post. DS had them 3 times in the first term when he started preschool and they make my stomach crawl. I was thinking that during lockdown everyone would be forced to treat their kids hair and headlice would be a thing of the past! Could you offer to go through his hair? Are there any other DC they have contact with when at his?

Perhaps next time you drop them off, could you ask him to watch as you go through each child's hair with the nit comb to show him there are no lice there. And then do the same when you pick them up and see if they have acquired any guests during their stay.

I don't have an amicable relationship with this man at all contact is through email and solicitors, I have video evidence of clear before going to his and finding them once they return, there's no other kids just him and his wife 🤢 it makes me feel so sick, honestly thought lockdown would be the end of them, clearly not since they are coming from their fathers house, as painful as checking my hip length hair is I still do and I never have any thing 🤷🏻‍♀️, I'll deal with it through court I guess

Oh wow, that sounds tough. What did he say in response to the video? Is there any way you can refuse to send them until they de-louse?

Hopefully someone else will be along with better advice. If not, try posting in AIBU as you'll probably get more responses. Good luck.

Cover them in lice repellent?

No advice on stopping contact etc as I don't know the situation on that but a quick way to get rid (not that you should have to) is to straighten the hair, the heat kills the eggs and lice instantly. Not ideal but better than paying out for lotions all the time.

If they have no children and are around no children there, it sounds as though you're not actually getting rid of them.
I'd look at alternative treatments. Teatree oil would be my recommendation.

This reminded me of when my (now grown up) son used to come back from his dad's with a fresh batch if headlice, everytime. Just like you, I would comb them all out and then he would come back with more including fully grown ones. I tried to tactfully suggest that dad had headlice, and was ridiculed for it. I then heard that dad was thrown out of a hairdressers, mid hair cut,due to them finding lice in his hair. I admit to still finding this amusing.

are you sure you have got rid? May be just the eggs you hadn,t noticed are hatched? TRy a different tact how about saying, children have lice again make sure you get treated? So your not blaming but just ointing out about the importance of everyone getting treated.

Maybe it's dad or his girlfriend? I have no idea how you wouldn't know though, I itch just thinking about them I couldn't not know IYSWIM

@june2007

are you sure you have got rid? May be just the eggs you hadn,t noticed are hatched? TRy a different tact how about saying, children have lice again make sure you get treated? So your not blaming but just ointing out about the importance of everyone getting treated.

Yep definitely got rid they didn't go to his for a month (just how court Oder worked) they had none no eggs no live, went to his for 3 weeks checked them when they returned 6 live ones in the 10 year old and eggs and 11 live ones and eggs in the 12 year olds hair, no live or eggs in mine or my 4tear old (not his)

At 10 and 12 they could use the head lice preventing spray themselves. Send them with their own hairbrushes too. Also tightly plait their hair and hairspray it before they go. The least possible time for the nits to climb on the better.