If you're on your own with kids 100% of the time how do you date?!!!

[Liverpoolarefab]

Just that really, widowed and have two children. I've been single for over 5 years - Id really like to meet someone. But I don't have any family support so just wondering how going on dates or spending time with someone else would work ?? Has anyone managed it ? Feeling pretty low abt it , thanks.

I’m a single parent to 4. My answer is I don’t date. I have been single over 3 years with no dates at all. My ex is absent and I have no family help so I’ve accepted it’s just not possible.

Friends help? Or People suggest paying baby sitters? Is that something you would consider? (It’s not for me as I wouldn’t be happy leaving mine with someone they didn’t know and they wouldn’t be happy either)

I haven't. My children are with me 100%. Would make a big difference if ex had access. Separated several years, in my early 40s and it makes me quite sad that life is like this.

Why wouldn’t you just get a babysitter like anyone else who wants to go out?!

Because it isn’t as easy as ‘just’ getting a baby sitter? I wouldn’t even know how to get one!

Baby sitters can be expensive, 2 of mine have asd so I wouldn’t leave them with a stranger. Most single mums I know who have new partner or date the kids are with the dad whilst they do it I don’t know a single person who pays for babysitters. It’s not common in my circle.

I don't.
It's been a decade.

TBH with work, kids and home to deal with I'm usually too tired to hold a coherent conversion so there isn't much point in meeting people.

Choice4567
People get them online, it’s not for me and not something I would do , I would rather not date tbh.

conversation even.

I gave up. It was too much trouble juggling everything.

Pay for a babysitter from an agency

A local teenager you may know

Teaching assistant or nursery worker at your dcs school / nursery

Swap favours with any friends who are parents

Children go on a sleepover at a friends place

There are agencies for babysitters!

Around here most people use the nursery/pre-school staff or the school parents are in a babysitting circle where they babysit for each other for free.

For older children there are usually older teens available too (I wouldn’t be comfortable with teens for my baby but would use the Mums or Nursery staff).

Arranging childcare for a date now and again would be possible - and I have arranged childcare for the odd night out with friends. It's just that I thought with online dating you'd probably go on lots of dates before you met someone you liked , and then you'd see them regularly from there . And then what about nights together ?!??

I don't think dating is a thing at moment

People are having socially distanced dates at the moment according to the relationships board.

though I don’t see the point

You don't tbh. Sorry x

I haven't so far. Nearly 3 years now.

For mums that haven't and want to - how do you accept this ? Do you think it will be like that until your children leave home ?

Tbh I found it easier when the children were younger as they would go to bed at 7pm so they were easy for a babysitter to look after. Now they are teenagers they are a bit young to leave In the evening and too old for childcare.

For those that say get a baby sitter. If you a dating you want to see someone once or twice a week to build a relationship. That starts adding up. On top of actual dating. If I had a spare £50/100 a week I have better things to spend it on. As I have had no child support in nearly 2 years.

My eldest is now of an. Age he is ok home alone for a few hours. I'm the light months till ten. So I feel more confident building a social life. As already mention. Funds are limited so I priorities the children's needs of my social life.

I don't. I had a short relationship not long after my marriage finally broke down, that was over ten years ago. I've accepted it now. I won't have another relationship and will now just be single. I prefer it tbh. Throughout lockdown I have read and heard of issues people are having in their relationships during lockdown and felt utter relief that I don't have to deal with that. The thought of being locked down with ex H makes me feel ill.

Why wouldn’t you just get a babysitter like anyone else who wants to go out?!

Last time I "just got a babysitter" it cost me £50 and I had to be back by midnight. Who can afford that even once a week?

I wouldn't trust a babysitter. Expensive and risky.

liv yes, I won't have a social life for a few more years yet. Got to wait until they're at Uni. Although tbh I'm hoping to increase my working hours and start sleeping again at that point.

Babysitters and asking family/friends.

I’m a lone parent, so like you there is no other parent, I was however very lucky, until my cousin moved abroad in January she would have my son once a month over night. I also occasionally used a babysitter.

My son is only four and he was three when I started dating my boyfriend, he is asleep by 7:15pm so after a while I would have my boyfriend over when my son was in bed. I often have friends over in the evening, so if my son had woken up and there was someone in the flat with me it wouldn’t be unusual.

Depending on what you want you need to be upfront to weed people out, I asked important questions early on, plans for marriage, children etc and its important to have the confidence not to see someone again if they don’t show patience and understanding about your children.

I’ve had no choice but to accept it. I have no family help, I don’t get a break ever so wouldn’t be able to even find the time to date and i refuse to bring men around my child early on. I guess when you have no choice you have to accept it. I’m waiting till mine are old enough to be left alone. Youngest is just turned 3 so got a long wait!

IME people either have family or friends who will babysit regularly, they bring their new bf around their kids from very early on or they don't date