Every other weekend contact issues

[gocat]

Any Suggestions? My xp who has our ds's every other weekend, is refusing to take our eldest to rugby training on a sunday morning. He is really keen to start regular training but obviously this is dependant on both of us taking him on our respective weekends. xp has decided that as it was 'my idea'for him to start rugby he wont take him, and basically please dont plan things for his time with the kids. This sets a hideous precident for them never being able to do regular weekend activities throughout their childhood.Surely this is this a violation of their human rights? Any advice anyone??

im afraid not, but i will watch with interest because my ex is also an arse. so no help, but lots of sympathy

I understand where ur coming from as my ex suppose to have my son everyother weekend but does he? well dont go there ha.Well all i can say is that u have ur son's interest at heart and if he wants to continue to do rugby he should tell his dad as it is about him and not about ur ex gettin back at u to say it's "his" weekend well yes it is but part of that is to take his son to his hobby/activitie.God i wish we could say SHOVE IT when it comes to ex's but bit difficult when child involved.

It really gets my goat that weekend access is usually thought of by the ex p as "their" time - they never seem to regard it as childrens access to the NRP.

could you take your son - regardless of what weekend it is, to ensure he gets there?

I hate men like this - what point does it serve to act like a bastard, apart from ruining his kid's life

Is your xp such an arse that he can't understand his DS wants to go to rugby training? Would it be feasible to tell him (nicely) how keen DS is on rugby?
Mind you, is it more difficult for XP to take him to the training than it would be for you (living miles away, no car or something?)

Yeah, acting like a bastard is his speciality. He wouldn't let me have any contact with our ds's on 'his' weekend. He is rapidly loosing respect from the boys but sadly this is no deterrent and he will continue to cut his nose off.... How did I get it so wrong?

oh my god really crikey what does ur son say about it all? how old is he?

We all live in the same town so no problem with getting there. Ds has been given a rugby shirt which he proudly showed his dad on fri evening, along with me telling him how much he enjoyed the training. The answer was still no, despite ds giving a first class peformance. What kind of dad could watch his son show such enthusiasm for something and then burst his bubble? It was a heartbreaking moment.

Ds's are 3 and 7

oh my god how awfull is that and sooo unfair an nasty to do that to his own son!!what is he trying to prove??what a tos..

Boys are home tomorrow so I will get the latest on the Rugby issue and let you know.

Well what a complete shitbag he sounds. Any chance of using some kind of mediation or counselling - or is there anyone else who might be able to talk to him (are you on remotely amicable terms with his parents who are after all your DS grandparents)? Because sometimes when an XP won't listen to their XW they might listen to someone else pointing out that they are being selfish and unkind.

hello gocat ... (you could be me, I have the same issues)

your xp sounds like a complete ar*e and obviously read the same "how to" manual as my ex dh and thinks about himself rather than what the DCs want.

I have just conquered the rugby issue and ex dh is now taking DS every Sunday. It took me pleading with him from Easter until last week to get him to do this.

Many clubs also have a week night practice as well - perhaps your DS could attend those and every other Sunday. It would mean he wouldn't get much chance to play 'festivals' and 'tournaments' unless they fell on your weekend but at least he's getting the chance to play.

I'd be interested to see if anyone with legal knowledge in family law picks this up because I have the same issue over Saturday activities for DD and DS.

gocat if you ex is going to be like that then what about changing the access arrangements so that your son will benefit from having his rugby, cause if he missess every other weekend then his team might not want him for matches cause he cant put in 100% practise time (obviously not his fault), maybe instead of every other sat/sun what about every fri night/sat, that way your son is home for his rugby.

Your ex obviously doesnt really care about your son's needs as it sounds like he is trying to use him to still have some level of control over you.

Even though i was in agreement to alternate weekend contact, he has taken me to court twice, to have everything put in a court order - literally down to the minute! All very practicle with 2 children! I receive letters every week or so if I dare to sneeze at the wrong time. He Cc's all his letters to the court. Obviously I reply but it is all so time consuming. I think, Tinkerbell 5 has hit on Ds's only chance, which would be for me to take him to court to alter the contact order to accomadate rugby training! Absolute madness but this is what I'm reduced to. Or maybe ds could take his **wit of a father to court? I've sent various letters to his mother, but she prefers to believe he's an angel!She's terrified of loosing him, as her other son doesn't talk to her!!(pattern emerging?) I feel we are well past mediation and councilling, and that whatever happens it needs to be in the form of a court order.

O my lord i just cant believe what u have been through god how unfair this all is on u! it just sounds like he wants to stab u in the back from breaking up (however that happened) and to hurt u as sounds like he wants to attack u through the kids if u get me..