At what age do children’s views count?

[AliciaWhiskers]

I’ve got 2 children. DS1 (with ASD) is 11. DS2 is 8. I split up from their dad 3.5 years ago, and we currently have a 50:50 split.

DS1 has said that he would rather spend more time here, but there is no way on earth ExH would agree to reducing the proportion of time he spends there.

How do I navigate this? And what age do kids have more of a day in where they spend their time?

Say, not day.

I’d say their opinions are pretty valid at this age. You wouldn’t force them to see a friend they don’t like. Forcing anyone to see someone outside of their own terms will only create resentment. I speak as a child of divorced parents who chose not to see the parent who left the family home at 12.