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Lone parents

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Original poster

I am really attracted to someone, nothing wil come of it, its only been a passing crush, but it's made me realsie that I am bloody loneyl, yet also am I right in strating to think, maybe I will meet someone else one day?

66 replies

pirategirl · 01/09/2007 19:51

Cos I have totaly written myslef off. It makes me v sad, cos I am only 38, but some days that feels so old, or past it. I nkow its not past it, but I just think my chances of finding anyone are crap.

Yet having seen someone if only from afar and thinking cor! the other day, it has made me alos quite hopeful.

Its also made me realise that a bit of attraction to someone else, and if it were returned would pretty much close the lid on my ex. I just feel like I am in his timewarp iyswim.

I fancy someone, help. Ye si nknow i fancied someone a few months ago, but this one is far nicer. But not available,and doesnt even live near me realy.

god i am a sill cow.!!

OP posts:
FrayedKnot · 01/09/2007 20:06

Pirategirl don;t think like that, please

Don't write yourslef off.

I've a friend who is 37 (same as me) who has been on her own for a couple of years and she's meeting people left right & centre.

What can you do to make yourslef feel more positive?

lou33 · 01/09/2007 20:08

dont write yourself off, people meet partners in the strangest places, and there is also internet dating

just wait until you are ready to start dating and dont be pressured into it

Dior · 01/09/2007 20:24

Message withdrawn

citylover · 01/09/2007 22:19

Hi just to give some words of encouragement here I am in my mid forties and split up with ex last year. Thought I wlyld never see anyone again but since then had a mild flirtation with a lovely guy in March then have been seeing someone not seriously since July, No one is more surprised than me.

Also have just been on holiday for with DSs and was surprised to receive some male attention!

This sounds to me like a stage to move through. Who knows what's around the next corner

citylover · 01/09/2007 22:25

sorry meant to also say that I really had to go through a process of reeling from the split, psyching myself up/talking myself up (being apart from ex helped with that enormously) and starting to rebuild my shattered self esteem (which was on the floor after 15 years with a complete A**hole).

But I think I am coming through it and am really making progress!

NKF · 01/09/2007 22:26

I know someone whose mother was widowed and then remarried aged about 60. Very happy she is too. Thirty eight is too young to be writing yourself off.

NKF · 01/09/2007 22:26

I know someone whose mother was widowed and then remarried aged about 60. Very happy she is too. Thirty eight is too young to be writing yourself off.

Original poster
pirategirl · 01/09/2007 23:52

hmm thanks, food for thought. i can see how it would be possible, but I just have pretty low self esteem.

I always have had, yet it's worse now since the split, and obv having had a child and my body is not fab.

Does nayone else feel tho, that the best ones are all attatched, or is it just me living in this ridiclulously small town.

OP posts:
Dior · 02/09/2007 08:48

Message withdrawn

LoveMyGirls · 02/09/2007 08:53

I found this site the other day it has loads of people, various ages, i noticed quite a few were quite fit with good jobs etc so worth a look! I signed my friend up you dont have to pay to put your profile on and look at who else is on there.

You might not find the love of your life on there but it may boost your confidence and get you back in the swing of things. hth.

Beetroot · 02/09/2007 09:14

my mum met a man 6 months ago. she is 68.

She madly in love and giddy with excitement.

Match.com is where she met him.

If you are going to starting 'putting out' again you need to sort out your hair/wardrobe etc. It can be fun and will build your self esteem. You have no photo so I cannot give you any any advice yet.

But if you have been feeling crap, safe to say you will be hiding your light under a bushel and need to blossom again!

Original poster
pirategirl · 02/09/2007 10:10

hiya, i have put my pic up, my hair is bit different now. longer fringe.

I do believe in fate, yes, one has to really, I have just realised that if unleashed I have an awful lot of love to give, and when i do fancy someone its a bitoverwhelming.

Does any one else feel like that, tha you curb it all, allyour love ad attentio is given to your children.

I also feel that it's dodgy ground, this feelings malarky, as it stirs up my old feeling , wel the hugeness of what I felt for my ex. Sometimes I wonder if my love is still thee for him, well tbh alot still is there for him. Yet I would love to heap it on someone else.

OP posts:
lou33 · 02/09/2007 11:47

i think you need to take it slowly, dont rush yourself

you are an attractive woman, and i assume a quite intelligent one, i cant imagine you will end up alone, it just might take time to find the right one

i'm great at getting dates, but not at finding someone who i want to stick about, you just need to bide your time

nutcracker · 02/09/2007 12:15

PG you look lovely PG so don't go thinking it is because you are not good looking enoughm, as that simply isn't true.

I feel exactly like you, and also recognise the dodgy ground ex feelings too, lonliness is so hard.

I have to believe that there is someone out there for me, else I will go mad, and I'm sure there is someone there for you too

Original poster
pirategirl · 02/09/2007 12:34

we HAVE to believe, we HAVE to believe(repeat repeat!!)

this will be my mantra.

i will not put myself down, from now on, have beendoing it too long. far too long.

thanks nut x

OP posts:
nutcracker · 02/09/2007 12:36

Good for you

lou33 · 02/09/2007 12:41

lol that reminds me of hte scene in peter pan

i DO believe in fairies

nutcracker · 02/09/2007 12:43

LOL Lou, I love that bit of that film, my kids always run round chanting it at the top of their voices.

lou33 · 02/09/2007 14:30
Grin
Beetroot · 02/09/2007 14:42

well you look gorg just as you are, so get out there and kiss some boys

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 02/09/2007 16:44

My friend aged 50 met a lovely, lovely man at a party last year. She was going through a really bad time following the break up of her marriage of 23 years, was depressed & self esteem non-existant. She and this man have just moved in together, & seem so happy.

You look lovely, just keep smiling

Helennn · 02/09/2007 21:36

pirategirl, hope you don't think I am a stalker, , but I just looked at your profile and your photo. We share the same local paper, and I could swear that was you on page 12. Would you care to confirm or deny?

For what it's worth, I know a lovely lady who had a really miserable marriage and terrible divorce, she met somebody at work and they are both truly happy. I think it is difficult if you become desparate to meet somebody because there is nothing more off-putting than being chased by somebody who comes across as desparate, I had it once and put me right off him!! I think it may do you good to have something else to focus on, a day-time evening class (iyswim), some volountary work somewhere that interests you,, (term-time only). You always seem to find what you are looking for when you're not actually looking for it, .

Original poster
pirategirl · 02/09/2007 23:24

hmm, well I'm certainly not in the paper, how did you know which one is mine?

It is hard to imagine that i will meet someone else, and I just took my chances when i met this person a few days ago, and we exchanged numbers. It was ou t of the blue, and it threw me, and was very exciting that maybe i could love someone again. Obv not him, as I said he isn't available, but god I just feel like life is goingon around me at times.

Really pised off now as can find every paper form last week except local one.

I am really wondering now how you came to wonder if its me!!! argggh

taking my pic of RIGHT now !

OP posts:
Original poster
pirategirl · 03/09/2007 09:41

found the paper, not tis not me. Funnily enought, that advert for Homestart volunteers, is realyy apt. I wasn ot aware of Homestrat, and my health visitor, who saw mty going thru lots of crap, and who was invlolved with Homestart, never even mentioned it!!

Also late, the actual leader of Homestart, whom I rang, when my dh left, said she wasn't the right person to help me.

Anyway, I did a search on some of your posts and found one from way back in April about mnetters coming down here for holidays. Maybe thats where we met!!!

So do your children go to school near you-S school? or the school in the main town?

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 03/09/2007 09:49

don't you write yourself off at 38 as i am 50..and want at least to date someone to get rid of the i never will and felings for my ex

Beetroot has goven me some really nice much appreciated tips on improving myself...for me as much as anything, my self esteem is at rock bottom..though i am lucky in one respect as I HAD ALREADY BEEN on a helth and fitness campaign before dp decided to dump me and i look better than for a long time..so it could have been worse

i agree that the available men who are attractive are thin on the ground...over 40 they all seem to be minging or taken

women age a lot better than men i think