CMS and contact rant

[maybelle4]

Just a rant. How is it okay for your ex to not pay maintenance but be hauling you through court putting you thousands and thousands of pounds in debt to get contact with a child they won’t even pay for!!

Why should someone pay and not be allowed contact? Can't stand people that think it's acceptable to not allow contact or control contact due to money. Poor kids is all I can say.

Maintenance should be paid regardless of contact. There could be a thousand reasons for contact to be stopped and yes, there are women out there that use contact as a form of control but I bet there's a lot more fathers out there that can't be arsed to see their children or help towards their upbringing. A child doesn't cease to exist because it's not seen by the father nor does it only require clothing and feeding on the days it's dad might visit.

Contact and maintenance are not connected, nor should they be.

Maybe I didn’t phrase my initial post correctly. My child’s father is not allowed contact with them (court have decided this) I have had to go to court repeatedly for this to be decided and am now £1000’s in debt fighting my child’s corner and my ex doesn’t pay any maintenance. I am struggling to provide for my child because of all the debt my ex caused and he can’t even chip in a bit of money to go towards the child that he’s ‘so desperate to see’

Absolutely the two shouldn't be linked. But it does stick In Your throat a bit when they do not financially support their children. I agree.

He/she is a child, not a DVD. It’s not pay per view. As @3xcookedchips says: contact and maintenance are two separate things.

They shouldn’t be connected BUT maintenance should be paid regardless. Have you gone through CMS?

Funny thing children NEED money to eat and live.
Oh and clothes they need those as well.

@Graciebutterfly that's what child benefit, tax credits and the child element of universal credit is for, even cms will tell you that. Cms is not something to be relied upon, they will tell you that their selves.

Your so right a Rp should reply on benefits and any other resources than the other parent who was part of creating the dc.

Ok

@Graciebutterfly that's cms words, it's fact. 😉 facts hurt sometimes, it's unfortunate that not every human is reliable.

@nighttimetalk
They also say it will take 8 weeks for the initial process - but it didn't.
Its an excuse because they a powerless.
And the fact your referring to is it hurts children. It's hurts them financial, physical and mental.
It's unfortunate that people spout facts like you
Unless you have been a child in this situation then you will never understand the affect but hey ho quote some more to prove children don't need money.

They are

Why do you assume that a single parent must be getting those benefits? I earn a decent salary so only get CB. I still expect my ex to pay what he should (and preferably more, like actually 50% of their costs not the minimum cms). OP it surely can't help his argument in court that he wants to see them if he's not paying. Paying maintenance is a pretty basic and fundamental way an NRP can show they give a shit (or not) about their kids. I get the whole pay per view thing but in most cases non payment of maintenance is about a disgruntled ex not wanting to give 'their' money to 'the other parent' rather than seeing it as suporying their children.

I also agree that don’t act like you care trying to see your children when don’t want to financially support them. How anybody can back the corner of someone who doesn’t pay for their children but then fight to see them is beyond me! This is not coming from a place of bitterness either as I get on with my babies dad and would never stop him seeing her. I just think it’s baffling how a father would ACT like he cares but then not support his children. I do agree with the comment that it shouldn’t be pay per view though.

Contact and child support aren’t linked and shouldn’t be, however, the way I see it, physically seeing the child is only one part of being a parent. They need taking care of: food, clothing, somewhere to live. So yes, I totally understand that it’s a kick in the teeth being taken to court for contact by a parent who professes to care when they’re not financially supporting the child/children in question.

Why on Earth are you racking up thousands . The ABSOLUTE NORM these days is to self represent ! Unless you have legal aid of course due to registered DV ?

It’s been going on 2 years now, my ex is extremely manipulative, there’s truly no way I could self represent, I’d have completely lost my child by now if I had tried to. I’m not even able to leave my child due to complex needs so wouldn’t even be able to go to court, I doubt a judge would allow a toddler in!