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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I need sorting out - Harman

17 replies

harman · 29/09/2004 17:55

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tammybear · 29/09/2004 18:00

Hi Harman, sorry to hear what uve been through. Have you thought of maybe seeing a solicitor who can give u some free advice, or maybe going to a mediator with exp? This can let you know where you stand, and the mediator can help deal with issues. Do you have family or friends that can help you out? I know there is a grant that you can get to help pay for furniture and I dont think you have to pay it back but I cannot remember what its called, so Ill have a hunt round for you and let you know. Good luck with the baby, and Im glad your mum and pupuce will be there for you. xxx

kalex · 29/09/2004 18:01

ONE -you are not a failure. You are making the best of a bad situation.

You are doing the very best for your kids, and don't worry to much about the occasional ciggie.

In the process of making the tea, will post again later.

PS it's lovely to have you back in the MNet fold

fio2 · 29/09/2004 18:04

pupuce are you still quite near me?

if you want anything, furniture etc. i would be more than willing to help. I have a beautiful crib if you want it and a car seat. the crib would need a mattress, but is tsandard size. let me know

Miaou · 29/09/2004 18:05

Harman, contact the CAB re the furniture/carpets issue, they will put you onto the right people in your area to help out with that.

Don't think you are a failure!! The fact that you've managed to achieve so much already, and your children are coping well, just shows how well you are doing!

And welcome back to MN. Use us for everything you can - we all want to help!

fio2 · 29/09/2004 18:06

I meant 'harman' sorry

essbee · 29/09/2004 18:12

Message withdrawn

pupuce · 29/09/2004 18:15

I also don't think Harman is a failure at all and she is very courageous to do what she is doing. I have also yet to witness her mental problems ....
As I have said to you today Harman, it will take time but you will need to live for YOURSELF and ignore what he wants... don't give him the pleasure of unsettling you! You are clever, caring, funny and deep down you are a fighter... so take care of yourself and don't let him run your life.

As for the labour... I can't wait

Yes - Fio : I am still in that part of the world.

tammybear · 29/09/2004 18:15

oh and are you getting everything you're entitled to (income support, child tax credit, housing/council tax benefit for when you move in, child benefit etc)? and is your exp giving you maintenance? you will also be entitled to the sure start grant when your baby comes which i think is £500. oh and the grant i was thinking of is called a community care grant. u can find out more about it here

you sound like you're doing a fantastic job with your children and wish you lots of luck for the labour xxx

fio2 · 29/09/2004 18:15

iu have lots of leftover paint too

pupuce · 29/09/2004 18:16

Yes Fio- Harman is still near you (I wondered why you were asking me)

fio2 · 29/09/2004 18:17

well you could transport them equipment only joking

Original poster

harman · 29/09/2004 18:48

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

pupuce · 29/09/2004 18:53

Harman - my mum's stepkids have a really "nasty" mum.... she smacks her son on a very regular basis, he is constantly grounded.... he is a handful admittedly... but he still ADORES his mum.... kids are programmed to love us

misdee · 29/09/2004 18:53

oh wow. your back (kinda) if you need help with moeny for furniture (assuming your on benefits atm) then apply for a grant (its a red form) or a budgeting loan which you should be entitled too. they should take into account ctc and your situation.

i have no idea where you are in the uk, i'm in herts. have been in similar situation as you with regards to setting up a home with nothing, so if u need a hand with finding stuff then let me know, and i'm sure we can track down organisations to help.

misdee · 29/09/2004 18:57

harman, if your dd ezcema is a problem and has been for a while then you should be entitled to claim DLA. if you get middle or higher rate, then your ctc will increase and you should also get carers allowence. some people dont get that u can claim this for ezcema but i get it for both my dd's at the high rate as they need care during the night. so if your dd is anything like mine and you are up several times a night, or reapplying creams throughout the day, then try claiming it.

phone # 08457 123456

anorak · 29/09/2004 19:13

Harman my childminder is a divorced mum of 4 and she is lovely, everyone in our village knows her, she gets around and does stuff and enjoys her life. She may even be dating for all I know!

Hang in there and the important people will hing in there with you and help you get this chapter of your life under way.

Big hugs and well done for having the courage to go it alone. xxx

MeanBean · 29/09/2004 22:37

Harman welcome back, don't worry about losing it, we all do that sometimes. They forgive us. And it's important we forgive ourselves. Don't worry about the fags either - the stress hormones caused by giving up would probably be far worse! I'd like to agree with what anorak said - congratulations on having the courage to go it alone. It's easier and more fun than sleeping with the enemy.

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