Dd2 wants to know why daddy hasn't rung her and when he is going to ring her, what the hell do i tell her ?

[nutcracker]

He normally rings them on a sunday but hasn't for the past 2 weeks.

He hasn't rung because I told him he couldn't ring or visit again unless things were sorted properly (ie access arrangements made through a soliciter) and I said it for a good reason.

Tbh I thought he would still ring them, or at least ring me to try and talk me round, as thats what he has done in the past, but in the past he didn't have a new girlfriend and her kids to occupy his time.

Anyway what do I say to the kids ?? When dd2 asked me today, said honestly, that I didn't know when he would ring them, and she didn't mention it again, but obviously it is playing on her mind.

What shall I say/do ?

When he was with you, who was it that instigated days out, trips to Macdonalds stuff like that? Was it you or him?

Me he always wanted to go out but it was alwasy up to me to decide where to go. I know it was probably his girlfiends decision to go to Md but it's not that thats annoying me, it's the way they both don't give a toss about my kids feelings.

I could have so easily been there with the kids and seen them, how the hell would I have explained to them what was going on.

He just doesn't care.

Well it might be that she's the one saying "let's go here, let's go there", not him. So he isn't actually being any different with her than he was with you, and he hasn't suddenly become Dad of the Year because he thinks more of them than you and your kids, he's still the same prat.

I'm not saying that to stick up from him, far from it, just trying to make you feel a bit better. It must be so upsetting for you. I just don't get these men who don't bother with their children.

He is here now, will post properly after he has gone but how I am stopping myself from ripping his throat out I don't know.

Hope you get him to agree to sense and reappraise hsi priorities. He can't continue to mess you and the kids around and during school terms at least a regular arrangement , on your terms, is the best approach.

He is still here, killing time until his tea is on the tabel for him no doubt.

I cannot say just how sick I feel right now, feel like I could throw up any moment.

table

wrung his neck yet ?

He wants to ring me every evening to ask me if he can have the kids the following day. There will be no pattern to this, some days he will want them others he won't, accoridng to wether his is visiting gf the same day as obviously he isn't going to pay to just come and see the kids.

He thinks I am being unreasnoable because i said 'fuck off''

Hw can't committ to a day, so have told him to see a soliciter instead.

I really don't know how to get past this, I don't even know how to start.

What contact would you be happy with?

Tbh I don't know because he is so unreliable and come the winter what the hell will he do with them ? He has no car and can't take them to his.

Will he actually pay anything towards their upkeep if he sees them regularly ? What does he say to them ?

He won't pay a single penny towards their upkeep Liz. Ds asked for an icecream and he said he had no money which is rubbish cos he is spending £3 a day to come here and see his gf.

When he got here he explained to them that was his friend and because of that he is spending alot of time there. He asked them if they were ok with that and both Dd1 and Dd2 said no. I asked him what he intended to do now he'd heard that they weren't happy about the situation and he said he isn't aplnning to do anything, as he doesn't see why he should.

Oh and he told me not to ring him again, which is no problem as I don't want any contact with him at all.

Since we split up he hasn't paid me 1 penny towards them.

He could take them swimming, to cinema , library, museum, whatever you'd do on such a day even take them to and fro to activities such as dancing. He'll have to plan and think about it. Don't allow obstacles like the weather and a bus trip to get in the way of formalising it. Can you ask CAB for advice as to how to proceed ?

He won't do any of those things Liz as they cost money.

He took them to the museum because it was free.

posts x'd . Ar$e . What happened to his "job" . He sounds as if he is enjoying controlling you now just like he always has, but this is meaner somehow.

It sounds to me like you need to agree on set times, every Saturday, alternate Sundays - whatever you are both happy with. At the moment his suggestion is ridiculous, but you're going to be painted as the bad guy as you've told him where to go - and he's likely to perceive that as you stopping him seeing the children. So have a think about it what you'd be happy with and offer that to him.

It fell through, if it ever exsisted.

Dd2 has just said she doesn't want XXXX working at her school and that she doesn't want to be in XXX's sons class anymore.

Jesus christ, and there was him saying he didn't think it effected them.

Can you speak to the school about it ?

Not sure they would care tbh.

I could ask that dd2 be moved to the other yr3 class, but she was so pleased when she found out who her teacher was going to be in sept, she'd hate it if they moved her, plus the fact that why should she have to move.

If it was entirly up to me and at all possible, I would move us all completely, a fresh start away from here, but my mum wouldn't be happy about that at all as she thinks i'm letting him win then.

Agree with your mum tbh. Guess you'll ahve to see how school goes. Don't put yourself or the kids out over what will probably be a shortlived "relationship". If you let him see how much it is winding you up it will make it all the more enticing. In the meantime pity her poor judgement.

nut, iwish you were closer, you would be welcome to visit us for a break.