Argh anyone want a 9 yr old girl , completely free infact I will pay you

[nutcracker]

God for 9 yrs old she can be such a baby.

She has just had the mother of tantrums in the co-op because I wouldn't (should be couldn't) buy her a comic.

I tried to explain to her that tommorow I have to go and buy 3 pairs of school shoes and that I am having to borrow half of the money for those as I don't have it all, and so going and buying 3 comics at nearly £2 each just isn't an option today.

It went straight in one ear and out of the other, and now she is saying she doesn't want stupid school shoes and that I never buy them anything.

How come she doesn't notice that her twat of a father really does never buy them anything, that they need or want ? He couldn't even buy them a bottle of water on a boiling hot day, but that was apparently ok as she wasn't thirsty

I know she is only 9 and I can't expect to her to understand everything, but jesus bloody christ, I do the best with the little I have, and always go without to give them things.

You are now officially on the next level of tantrums. My dd1 was 11 last week. It is normal.

you obviuosly can't tell her how you feel about tightness from father over water, so do vent here as much as you like.

Cheers Wotz, 1 sugar please

Have sent her to her room to calm down.

good idea

I am sure it will be fine. I have learnt the art of talking very calmly over the last 2 years and try to let her have her say without butting in till she has finished.

Hard to do when you are out shopping. Maybe have a little one to one later, and let her start first. There are probably lots of thoughts going on that she doesn't know how to express.Keep pressing your pause button, so she can vent too.

Will try and do that Wotz, we don't have a very good relationship tbh, never have, I love her to bits but we are not close at all, she is not into being affectionate at all but then on the other hand sometimes she seems to want us to be closer so much, for example she will shout that she loves me, about 4 times as I am going down stairs after tucking her in, but she would never ever say it to my face, and isn't impressed if I hug her.

She has alwasy been like that though, it's not a recent thing.

She is alot closer to my mum than me tbh.

NC sounds just like my dd1. Her body goes like a stiff tree trunk if I try to console her after an argument.

I had a chat with her only yesterday saying that only she can make herself happy (big sulky fed up grunts going on) by doing or finding things that make her happy, and that it wasn't other peoples responsibility (said my job to her) to maintain her happiness for her.

She is making a den with dd2 at the moment and are reading in it. Have asked for chocolate spread sandwiches and goodies. I am happy to do and dinner can go on tonight instead!

They do sounds very simlar Wotz, hard to know what to do with them.
My brother was very very similar to Dd1, absolutly hated anyone being affectionate with him, and tbh he never really changed until he was 23 ish and I had Dd1, then it was like such a transformation, and you'd have though he had kids of his own, always playing with them, giving them a hug etc, nothing too much trouble.

I do need to try and find some time for me and Dd1 to do stuff on our own, as I always have at least one of the other kids with me, if not both.

A den sounds good, might get mine to do that after lunch.

my dh has an 8yo dd who is the same. we're firm. crying/tantrums DOES NOT get what you want. end of story, no arguing, no explaining.

Brownsugar, that sounds harsh, you say your dh has 8yr old...so she is your step daughter? No mention of sd in your profile.