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Im at the end of my tether .. help

5 replies

BLAINE07 · 05/11/2019 21:48

So there is a court order in place made in june our son sees his dad twice a week on his dads 2nd and 3rd day off work as he works 4 on 4 off. At the end of the order is says any additional contact to be arranged my both parties. Since the order hes demanded over nights, bonfire night, his birthday says im selfish as its not his day to have him. He never asked for any of this at court. He has said he asked to see him on christmas but he hasnt asked me. Ds is 2. My ex expects me to wait to see if he wants him on these days before i make plans. But as he works i do make plans for days he doesnt have him. He works nights and sleeps days. We have a contact book he never writes in. He emails me constantly. He laughs at me infront of our son when handing him back as ds cries, dad says aww you want to stay with daddy. Yet our son cries when i hand over in the morning and i say your our with daddy mummy will see you later love you and kiss him goodbye. We meet in public because of past DV (emotional and mental) im just at the end of my tether now. Do i back down and let him get everything hes asked for or do i stick to the order? Any advice would be great x

OP posts:
nevernotstruggling · 05/11/2019 21:59

You are only obliged to avail your son for the court ordered contact times. Refuse anything else. He can take it back to court. I really feel for you as I am also losing my shit with exh

RandomMess · 05/11/2019 22:10

Just go grey rock. He is using these demands to abuse/control you.

Perhaps just send one email to ex "until you can stick to the court order for 12 months without abusing or bullying me I will not consider any additional contact other than the 2nd and 3rd day as stipulated in the court order"

Thanks
Cccsss011 · 06/11/2019 07:50

Stick to basics birthday xmas give him a 2 or 4 hour optional slot depending if he has to travel etc and if he doesn't come tough shit!!

nevernotstruggling · 06/11/2019 08:19

I don't allow changes for special occasions. It's too disruptive. Sometimes the dds birthdays fall on my days and sometimes on dad days. We just do extra. Even Xmas day is split on the court order.

jelly79 · 06/11/2019 18:21

I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. I can't bare handing my son over and he is the same age. But my situation seems mild compared to yours. Do your best to not let this control your head space. Just accept the times the court have agreed x

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