Telling children their father is moving out

[chellochello]

My husband and I have 3 children aged 9,7 and 3

He had had an affair and is leaving the family home. He is coming over this afternoon so we can tell the children together that he is moving out

My 9 year old in particular is very sensitive and I am very worried about how they will react

Does anyone have any advice on how to help them deal with this situation and make things as easy as possible for them

First piece of advice would be don't give your kids specifics, it might seem like a good idea but they won't thank you in the end. Nobody wants their opinion of their parents tarnished, and it might just look like you're passing the blame.

Beyond that, you should probably give them some information, make sure your (ex)husband tells them it's not because of them and you tell them the same thing. If you two can be civil enough around the kids then although things might be difficult (you never can tell with kids) they'll blow over in the end.

I think its harder if there is hostility but the fact you're both willing to tell them together when obviously there will be a lot of emotions between the two of you then I think you're already on the right track!

I am assuming meeting has happened .

Do not cover for him but don’t demonise him either . He is a shit husband but not necessarily a shit dad.

I hope you and the children are ok.

The advice I read suggested reassuring the children that it had nothing to do with them, not in any way their fault and both parents still loved them and would see them. Separately.
My 7 year old got it, was sad, asked questions and processed it over time.
My 3 year old thought Daddy was just buying a new house and would be coming back. When she realised the enormity of it she completely freaked out and took most of her anger out on me, her "safe parent."
They will all process it differently so be prepared.

How did it go @chellochello

Hope it went ok. We have to tell our 5 year old soon and am dreading it