Duchess while you're not wrong, in that people SHOULD be telling deadbeat dads to step up something becoming socially unacceptable generally doesn't happen unless laws are put in place and enforced that show the state think that the behaviour is unacceptable,
Currently the cms has the ability to pursue non payers and take legal action against them but they very rarely use those abilities.
Sadly we cannot and shouldn't try to (because of the harm it would do the child) force a parent to love or to see their child.
Unfortunately we also have the situation that it's extremely difficult to stop even abusive parents from having contact. I personally know of one case where the father was convicted and served time for sexually abusing a child and was then awarded unsupervised contact after release because "he's served his time and had treatment" the mother was tearing her hair out because the child was understandably extremely distressed at the possibility of seeing the father.
Many many families at a lower level of that relationship being detrimental to the child's wellbeing have no chance of stopping an irresponsible, flaky nrp having contact with the child/ren. Had that experience myself and seen it a LOT!
The standard for encouraging contact should be much higher.
Nrps who are genuinely interested in having a relationship with their children will make the effort.
Those who aren't should be discouraged from pursuing their ex through the courts just to cause trouble.
I very much regret my decision to do what I thought was right at the time and do all I could to enable dd to keep seeing her dad. With hindsight it's clear that he couldn't be arsed and if I'd taken a more relaxed approach he'd likely have just faded out of dds life within the first year or so after we split.
Instead I chased him up on arrangements, did much of the transport (and covered the costs!) even travelled to where he lived and stayed in b&b's etc (and paid to do so), covered his cock ups, even when his actions were really showing he wasn't interested instead of "letting it be" which would likely have led to him gradually seeing less and less of dd I goaded him into taking me to court (because I couldn't take him to court to MAKE him step up) so we could get a contact order in place and he'd be told he had to be at X place at y time to see dd.
He repeatedly broke the terms of the contact orders, there'd be solicitors letters flying back and forth, I'd get frustrated at his lack of effort and goad him back to court where he'd promise to do better only for him to go back to his crappy lack of effort within a few weeks.
I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing at the time. As I say I now think it would have been far better to just let him keep cancelling/not turning up/turning up several hours late until he very likely would have just ended up not bothering at all.
But yes, absolutely the main issue is that deadbeat parents (mostly but not quite always dads) don't face any of their actions being regarded as socially unacceptable.
A friend of my brothers started being a bit of an arse in the aftermath of his split from his wife, bro and I called him out on it and told him to stop acting a petulant toddler, pay maintenance and make a proper effort to see his kids. He isn't generally a bad guy but he succumbed to the ideas that are sadly prevalent in certain circles that maintenance is "paying the ex" and that its just too much hard work having to be civil to an ex in order to make child contact arrangements. Head wobbled, he stepped up and now has a great relationship with his kids and a civil one with his ex.
However another former friend of mine we fell out because his 2nd wife (who was the one I was friendly with first funnily enough) and him were pissed off that his having to pay maintenance for the child from his first marriage meant they couldn't afford to have more children as soon as they'd have liked. He was full of how she didn't spend the money on the child and obstructed contact, but in conversations with them on the matter it became clear it was actually nonsense and on the contact side of things he was just full of crap excuses - "I've had a knackering week at work" "I'm skint this week we wouldn't be able to do anything" "the trains are having disruptions" - he just couldn't be arsed basically! Ended up I just couldn't bear to hear their pathetic excuses for letting this kid down and left the friendship.