I would just like to share my story, because it really might help some mum's to see the bigger picture - in allowing their child contact with their Dad.
My Dad was from England and my mum was from a different European country.
When they divorced we all lived in England for a time and she began to let us see him less and less. He had to go to court to fight for access. Can I add here that my Dad was a lovely man, and I wanted to see him every week - but I had no power or control. My mother had all the power.
She then took us to her home country of birth without his permission. He had police looking for us for a long time. She then lied to police that he had hit her. And told him that he would be arrested if he came to her country. She told us awful things about him
. She forced me to write letters to him saying awful things to him. I didnt want to write them. I had no say. I had no power to see my father whatsoever. Years passed and my teenage brother eventually had a break down and was put into an adolescent psychiatric unit. He told health workers there that he hadn't seem his dad in years and he needed to see them. They were finally able to make my mother allow my father to see us at the health centre. This was after five years. I still remember my Dad walking in, hugging us and hysterically crying. That is seared into my heart.
Then the war began again with him and my mother. She psychologically abused him into the ground. She would tell him we were going over for visits, then not let us go at the last minute, not tell him and make him drive hours to the airport and make him wait for us there. Again she made me write awful things to him.
My broke my father down and my father committed suicide three years ago. I am an adult now, every day I wake up in the morning - and my first thought is total pain and rage at all what happened. And pain and rage at the system that puts the mother's rights over the father's.
To mothers out there - you have the power. Please, please be compassionate and let the fathers of your children see their children. It causes unending pain to the father AND to the children when you seperate them.