Toddler's first haircut -- without my consent :-(

[Melody1234]

My little boy is 2.5 and I split from my ex when he was 1. One thing we both agreed on was that both parents should agree to any haircuts etc.

My son was with him and his family over Christmas and just got back to me today. His hair has been cut.

Left pic from 2 weeks ago. Right pic is this morning. I am SO upset...

Hello,

Yes the standard routine is 50:50 (alternating weekends and 2 nights each in the week) although he is sometimes away with work or wants holidays without little one so over the course of the year it's more like 60-70% with me. He views his time with LO as "helping me out" and it has been a struggle to get to this schedule because he protested for a long time that weekends would interfere with his social life. And you can bet he's not taken LO to the doctors once in the 18 months since we split up, "coincidentally" all illnesses happen when LO is with me (or when LO comes back to me from time at his).

I'm not meaning to rant but some of you mentioned about whether he's otherwise a good co-parent and about his time with LO, so I'm just giving a slightly fuller picture. I'm sure he's getting plenty of firsts that I don't know about, and I have no interest in interfering with his parental rights or parenting style -- but this first haircut was something we had agreed that we would discuss and he has disregarded that agreement.

Still no response from him at all so I still don't know what happened. I agree if the hair got caught in something it would be impractical to discuss first, but under the circumstances I would have hoped for at least a quick message rather than leaving me to see it for myself when I collected little one...

It's not the haircut, it's the fact that it was something agreed between you. It might not have been a haircut, it could have been your son's first ride on a bus or his first time at the swimming or something like that (I'm sure there are a million better examples)

The fact he chose not to mention it for you to see would suggest either a) he knew you would kick off or b) he doesn't give a shit. Take your wee one to the hairdresser of your choice ASAP, get them to tidy it and get some of his hair then. Try and not let this weigh on you.

Id be so upset. You have the right to be upset and vent. Yes itll grow back like sherlock said. But you are entitled to feel however you want to feel and its ok to express to your ex. Aslong as you know you dont do it in anger do it when your more calm where you are able to express yourself properly. Always better to get it off your chest no matter how petty.