Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Toddler's first haircut -- without my consent :-(

78 replies

Melody1234 · 31/12/2018 06:05

My little boy is 2.5 and I split from my ex when he was 1. One thing we both agreed on was that both parents should agree to any haircuts etc.

My son was with him and his family over Christmas and just got back to me today. His hair has been cut.

Left pic from 2 weeks ago. Right pic is this morning. I am SO upset...

Toddler's first haircut -- without my consent :-(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

irnbruforlife · 31/12/2018 11:34

Yanbu op. I'd be fucking livid if dp took ds for a haircut without discussing it with me, especially as ds had long hair as a toddler. People will tell you it's just hair but (a) it's the principle and (b) I doubt they would be saying that if it was a girl with lovely curls and came back with them cut off. Sadly not much you can do though but is this a sign of your exdp flexing his muscles so to speak. Console yourself that it might grow back (dbro had the most beautiful head of the whitest blonde ringlets down to his shoulders as a child, his dfather took him for a short back n side and they never grew back).

HRTpatch · 31/12/2018 11:38

Looks so much better now.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/12/2018 11:39

Bit annoying but in the scheme of things, I couldn’t be arsed fighting this.

Saharafordessert · 31/12/2018 11:47

It honestly looks much neater now.
Agree with others.....pick your battles and keep going with the regular trims, beat him to it!

CandyCreeper · 31/12/2018 12:41

yabu

Time40 · 31/12/2018 12:57

I don't understand why so many people are saying that it looks "better" now. You wouldn't all be saying that if this were a little girl, would you? Why shouldn't a little boy have lovely long curls?

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/12/2018 12:58

time lovely long curls! It’s a mullet!

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 31/12/2018 12:58

It does look tidier, but I understand that isn't really the point of your objection.

I would try and say something to his dad, but it'd have to be delicate and low key to avoid it becoming a battleground.

FestiveNut · 31/12/2018 13:14

@time40, I'd ordinarily agree but there was only one curl.

MsJuniper · 31/12/2018 14:18

I can't believe people think it's ok that he's had his first haircut without your knowledge.

It doesn't matter whether they like the end result or not. It's really disrespectful and I wonder if he is testing the water for any other informal agreements you've made.

I would be asking if they kept the offcut as you wanted it for your memory box and see whether they show any care all. If there's some apology then it's probably not worth the fight, but I wouldn't ignore it completely.

KittiesInsane · 31/12/2018 14:21

God he’s cute.

Snip off a different bit of hair and keep it to embarrass him when he’s sixteen/ six foot tall, whichever comes first.

Blueemeraldagain · 31/12/2018 14:28

Why shouldn't a little boy have lovely long curl s?

Because it looks ridiculous. I’m a huge fan of long hair on boys but this isn’t that. He has one long ringlet.

OP, do you know the ins and outs of the cut? Did they go to the hairdresser? Is it trimmed all over? If his dad has just snipped one long curl off is there a chance he doesn’t see that as “the first hair cut”?

Guest275 · 31/12/2018 16:37

He doesn't need your consent to cut his hair. You don't need his consent either. This is silly.

KittensAndChristmasCake · 31/12/2018 16:42

I don't understand why so many people are saying that it looks "better" now. You wouldn't all be saying that if this were a little girl, would you?

Yes, yes I would.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 31/12/2018 16:43

I get it OP but it does look better now, more even, it's not a drastic change, just a trim really.

Oh and I would say the same if he was a girl!

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 31/12/2018 16:45

Have you actually talked to the father about this? Because to me it just looks like one long chunk was snipped rather than a full haircut. Perhaps he got his hair caught in something?!

Amaaboutthis · 31/12/2018 16:47

All they’ve done is take off the big curl at the back which needed cutting anyway, they really haven’t changed his appearance.

Bigonesmallone3 · 31/12/2018 16:48

I can't believe a lot of people would be ok with there child having there first hair cut without mother's attendance or permission..
I would be fuming!
Did I get to keep his first curl?

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/12/2018 16:49

msj because not everything has to be a big fucking deal.

AssassinatedBeauty · 31/12/2018 16:54

Unfortunately he can take the child for a haircut and doesn't legally need your permission. However you are not unreasonable to be upset because you had agreed between you to discuss haircuts and agree before going ahead. Your ex then decided to ignore that agreement, which is a bit shit. And implies he might decide to ignore other agreements too.

FWIW, I can totally understand why you're upset about the haircut.

stayathomegardener · 31/12/2018 16:55

I actually love the one curl but that's irrelevant.

Maybe I'm weird about hair as DD didn't have hers cut until she was 12.

Are you going to raise it with your ex?

CandyCreeper · 31/12/2018 19:14

I can't believe a lot of people would be ok with there child having there first hair cut without mother's attendance or permission..
I would be fuming!

Mothers make most of the decisions and I bet most dont “seek permission” either.

IMissGin · 31/12/2018 19:20

If he had asked you what would you have said?

Guest275 · 31/12/2018 23:02

AssassinatedBeauty,

why is it unfortunate? Do you think every parent should have to go to court because of a haircut? Should mothers seek permission too? Or just fathers?

AssassinatedBeauty · 31/12/2018 23:09

Its unfortunate because they had made an agreement between them to discuss these things first. But clearly each parent can actually do whatever they like, legally.

Flip

1 2 3 4