One Night Stand

[Lizadork]

At 15, I was an idiot and very emotionally damaged. I got pregnant on purpose by a one night stand. I can't excuse it. I won't. My past is just what it is.

Now 22, I have a 7 year old and I have Facebook details for my ONS. We never spoke again after that one night. I am not sure what to do. I feel guilt. I am in a better place but I haven't fully come to terms with what I did and how it impacts us all. Not sure if telling is more about me than what is best for them.

I don't know what to do.

I've kept my ONS a secret for years. My parents think a jerk broke my heart.

There was nothing stopping the man taking precautions to prevent a pregnancy by his own means either.

I do have a thicker skin these days, the anger and views of some of the posters - what has been said, I've thought it. It's just not so simple. It never is. As an adult, I am just trying to come to terms with it and learn how to forgive myself, maybe even start finally talking.

Thank you @comeasyouare1.

You did nothing underhand, not to mention you were just a child yourself. The man who fathered your child knows how children are made I'd assume, but never enquired about you after having his fun. He got on with his life with no worries whereas you were forced to grow up quickly and have raised your child with no help. Please don't be so hard on yourself

After reading your updates I'd no more say you planned to get pregnant than he planned to get you pregnant. Unprotected sex leads to babies, that's how it works - he had just as much a part in it as you did.
I think he does have a right to know about his child, and your child has the right to know it's father. I understand that lies can escalate and sometimes doing nothing is the easy option. But you do need to contact him and tell him, I think you know that.
Your parents, and admitting to a ONS is a separate issue in my view. Deal with one thing at a time.
I don't know why people have jumped on the financial bandwagon, he absolutely should pay towards the child he helped to create, no question in that. I think he's got off lightly the last 7 years to be honest.

OP, you have done so well to have a baby at 15 and bring him up alone. You were a child when you had him and at an age when the biggest problem to have are GCSE choices. I do think it's time to approach this man and tell him about his son. It will be a shock but it's the right thing to do. He absolutely has duty to pay maintenance, you owe it to your boy to make his life more comfo rtsble.

One of the first posters said it's been seven years so I could afford to wait a little more time to consider things. I think that is good advice. I've self refered for a bit of counselling, I think discussing this openly and in-depth with a neutral party would be beneficial. I don't want to be self sabotaging again. I will tell ONS at some point but I need to talk, get it out of my system so I can decide what I actually want. Thank you everyone.

Very wise, Liz
All the best with it

Good luck @Lizadork I hope it works out okay for everyone involved.

Can I ask, does the ONS have a wife/children now?

ONS is single from what I can tell.