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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Xp might be moving 2 minutes walk away

22 replies

NuttyMuffins · 13/05/2007 19:18

I live in a HA house and the estate also has 1 and 2 bed flats. When me and xp plsit he tried to get on the list for a flat but was told that the list was closed.

Anyway last week everyone on the estate had a letter from the HA asking if anyone had any friends or relatives looking for 1 bed flats in the 2 blocks on this estate. TBH I didn't even give xp a thought and binned my letter, but his neice who already has a 1 bed flat, rang and told him.

So anyway, he has applied, and seeing as he was a tennant of theirs for roughly 5 years and was a good tennant at that, it is likely he will get one. I think they are advertising the empty flats so that they can fill them with people they'd prefer rather than people reffered to them by places like probation etc.

Anyway, not entirly sure how I feel about it. The kids would be pleased if he got one, and at least he'd then be alot more involved in their lives, hopefully then giving me a bit more freedom. Not so keen on him being on my doorstep but can't have it all ways I suppose.

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lou33 · 13/05/2007 19:19

i understand your nervousness nutty, i'd be hte same

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 13/05/2007 19:23

Hmmm, so long as he keeps out of my way when the kids are not around then it's fine with me. Just not keen on him beng able to spy on me, which technically he could as the block backs onto my house.

Want him to get one for the kids sake and my sanity, as if i don't get a break soon i will become fruitaloopy, so will have to put up with whatever else it brings I spose.

Am not gonna tell the kids until he knows he has one.

Had a right go at him when he rang earlier, tried to get through to him how unfair he is being on the kids, not even telling thwm when they will next speak to him letalone see him.

OP posts:

LadyTophamHatt · 13/05/2007 19:23

I think its a good thing he'll be close by Nutty.
Ok, he's a lazy goodfornothing but at least it will mean you have a bit of freedom and as you said the kids will love it.

(I'd be nervous too though)

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 13/05/2007 19:25

Yeah, he did mention that if it goes ahead he'd like to do the school run sometimes, which if he did would give me a better choice of jobs/courses to apply for.

Better not count my chickens though yet.

OP posts:

charliecat · 13/05/2007 19:26

Well, he will be on the doorstep for childcare if nothing else? And how long can he go on making excuses? And he doesnt need a 3 bed house to entertain them, a 1 bed flat will do just fine?

lou33 · 13/05/2007 19:33

exh said v graciously that when he comes back to the uk if i let him come here , he could help me with the school run

twat

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 13/05/2007 19:34

Exactly CC.

Oh well we'll see i suppose.

OP posts:

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 13/05/2007 19:34

When he was here before staying at his neices he did help alot, did the school run etc.

Although tbh i'd rather got a job than be available for the school run.

OP posts:

lou33 · 13/05/2007 19:35

i thin my ex had a bloody cheek to even think he would be welome to stay in my house

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 13/05/2007 19:36

tosser

OP posts:

lou33 · 13/05/2007 19:40

when i said no way he said it was unreasonable of me to say that based on a 1 hour argument, and that i threw our marriage away on a whim

lou33 · 13/05/2007 19:40

i dont need his help for the school run, i have it all sorted quite nicely tyvm

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 13/05/2007 19:42

Well yeah I have too tbh, but hopefully I can widen my job search if I don't have to worry so much about childcare etc.

OP posts:

lou33 · 13/05/2007 19:43

i understand that

Catnkids · 13/05/2007 20:55

My (not yet ex) husband lives about 10 mins walk from me. When he first left he asked me if he could rent the house directly opposite my house and I said absolutely no, it would really f up the kids heads. He could probably do it now and the kids wouldn't be bothered but when we first split (6 months ago) it would've been too confusing. He wouldn't do it now because it would interfere with his social life (girlfriend).

Where he is now is better, just far enough away but close enough for the kids to cycle there when the weather's nice.

BTW he's got himself a lovely penthouse duplex apartment on the canal....lucky so+so. Me and the kids walked past yesterday, they rang him and he was having a bbq on the "roof terrace" (oooooh!!!) with his g/f - how good of him that he leant over and said hello to his kids. She kept herself hidden.

Even though he's close by (half way between us both is the school) he never does the school run. And really I'd like to keep it that way, I've always done the school run every day twice a day since the kids started school (7 years ago for my eldest!! where does the time go?!)

I hope having him close by works to your advantage and that your kids are old enough to walk to his place alone. They can go and bother him when they feel like it!

lou33 · 13/05/2007 21:15

i call him my exh as it's over between us, but he wont divorce me

controlfreaky2 · 13/05/2007 21:18

well why dont you divorce him then if thats what you want?? (realise there may be all sorts of reasons...)

lou33 · 13/05/2007 21:21

because he wont tell me his address, and he is out of the country

controlfreaky2 · 13/05/2007 21:33

afaik you can apply to the court for substituted service (ie served on hi mum as pretty likely to come to his attention) or to dispense with service (he can't be found)..... speak to cab / solicitor if you want to pursue this

lou33 · 13/05/2007 21:35

is that so?
i asked the cab and they said they would get back to me but never did, and i have had other things to address, so i put it on my to do list

will try and find out more thanks

controlfreaky2 · 13/05/2007 21:40

you are very welcome! let me know on here if you need more info....

lou33 · 13/05/2007 21:45

oh boy it would make my year if i could divorce him!

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