As main carer how much maintenance do you receive for one child?

[Nikitasol]

Just that really. My ex is messing about with money and we're already on the breadline. I'm wondering how much other main carers get on the whole?

I know about the government calculator etc but would be good to get a general idea other then that.

I've got one dc.

Thanks for reply. Think ex is £350 basic but he'll be doing overtime which would take him over this. Thanks x

Ex reduced maintenance this week. Down to £47 pw. Random amount. He says hes broke (earns 36k) and maybe he is but so skint here there wasnt enough in the account today to pay this month's rent.

I've applied to the CMS to deal with it. Just to stop the control issues. Feels really horrible to do it but just need to deal with them not him and his passive aggressive emails.

Had to do handover just now with dc yo ex. If looks could kill 🙄

My OH pays £700 per month for 2 children (has them EOW hand half the school holidays). He also pays for extras like school trips, clothes, clubs etc. Apparently it’s a ‘pathetic amount’ according to his EW.

Oh my god @northernspirit that amount is inconcieveable to me but would be amazing!

Ex pays £100 but just told me not paying for our son. As my son on sees him once a month.

I get nothing. He quit his job so he doesnt have to pay.

I get diddly squat these days but in fairness the ex always paid until last October since he got sick. He is on 16 hours a week and on benefits and has a 7 year old boy on his own to cope with. He is sitting much prettier than I am though as he has an abundance of family support to cope with whereas I have no relatives whatsoever just a cheap contact to take care of him as her son is my boy's age (13). So I can get on and hold down work and he can mix and branch out.

It isn't easy at all we go without all the time as there are no grandparents and we haven't had a working shower since last August since I cannot afford to replace it and I don't have a hoover either I just use a brush and dustpan which feels a bit primitive but I get by. Our lives are hard.

I am planning to get the shower replaced by the end of this month but I am self-employed and cannot predict or totally plan my finances. Every month varies.

Ds's dad used to pay his modest amount for 12 and a half years then he got ill as he had the other son late in life and it has taken its toll on him and affected his health.

Nothing for two children

I always find it interesting on these threads that the recipients come on and say they get X amount, which is usually pretty low.

But payees who come on always seem to pay way more (i.e my OH pays his ex £1000 per month and she still says he's tight).

How can that be?

I think there’s a lot of men lying to their current partner about how much they Pay in child support for their children.

So they say they pay £800. They give their kids £400 and spend the other £400 on themselves.

It’s win win for them, they have extra spending money, both women hate each other and their current partner thinks they are a saint. Result.

I just wish I hadn't had a child by such a skint man. I have already told ds so many times (he is now 13) that if he ever wants children to find a woman with a nice family support system and good earnings of her own so that any children don't go without should anything go wrong with the relationship. That he must pay his way in the world, shape up and get a nice job, good standard of living etc. if he wishes to be content and feel functional in society and so on.

I think he gets it but you never know. Children are always 'I want'.

£600 per month for 2 kids, he earns £75k basic, plus bonuses. (over £110k last year)

Use CMS.

To start he suggested £113 per week and paid that until I went to CMS. Then he paid nothing for as long as he could delay it.

He persuaded them not to take his £40k bonuses into the calculation at all. I had to take that to Tribunal for them to concede they should use his bonuses in the calculation.

So should have been £900 pm. Now he will delay as long as possible to pay the back pay of about £2k.

I managed to get through this despite his abuse in mediation, abuse generally, getting a non-molestation order etc.

I also had to leave the marital house due to abuse and now pay rent. I'm about to lose my rented house and move back in with parents because of the crippling legal bills. Now in debt up to my eyeballs. The financial abuse continues.

@themuminator your situation sounds quite similar to me. Exh has a high basic plus a variable bonus.

I'm not getting anything yet as still arguing about it. We have a solid routine of 2 nights in the week and every other Saturday night. Totals 2-3 nights per week.
But exh knows he pays less if kids stay more with him. Plus he knows how much it bothers me when kids stay with him. So any discussion about maintenance turns into long drawn out fight about the kids.
That's why I can't get cms to sort it out really as he just argues he should have the kids more.

What are these fuckers like!!!!!

I get £100 a month for my 14 year old if he bothers paying

Ex really begrudges paying it, thinks I should bow down to him and be very grateful . He claims he can't afford it but can afford personalised number plates and the latest gadgets

Fortunately we don't need that money to survive, it goes into an account that then gets used to buy extras that DS needs. But that's beside the point!

CMS calculator .

1 child
Earnings £36000
Band 2 (52-104 nights a year) EOW 2 nights =52 nights plus 1 night every week =52 nights.
No resident children at fathers address.

Total minimum entitlement £59 . If he doesn't pay and you have to get CMS to take it from his salary the you will get £56.64.

£255 per calendar month. If he doesn't have him to sleepover in the week then it's £71.00. (£307 pcm). Theses figures are non negotiable (downwards) he can of course pay more.

£1150 per child per month
2 children

Sorry
Earnings
£150k

4 nights a month

£200 a month for dd aged 14, it’s been the same since she was 6 months old. He is retired at 41, married to a head buyer for a large us firm and lives in a $1.4m house in the us. It’s ridiculous really. All his money is cash or his wife’s money so no evidence of it. We managed without lights upstairs for 4 years because of damp issues while he was having 4 holidays a year in Mexico. (I know all this because dd does go and visit him once a year, during which time he never so much as leaves his own town with her).

Oh well. Have to laugh really.

£250 a month for one child, through cms. DD doesn't see him.
Dad asked to lower amount to which I have said no as legal requirement.
I've been verbally abused & blocked by dad as a result, he is truly pathetic.

A warning about mediation - the mediator I went to suggested that I could accept less than the CMS minimum by disregarding some of ex's income. Er no thanks. CMS have been reasonable for me (with plenty of chasing) but we are now going through a faux redundancy following on from last year's attempt to reduce payment by increasing pension contribution. He really is the gift that keeps on giving. Glad you have gone to CMS OP. Expect him to lie to them. They will check facts with you, so just keep correcting. Also keep a careful log of overnights.

Nowt ☹️ 2 teens.

I get 800 pm for 2 dc
It's about a quarter of my total income per month so he is paying for less than 66% of what it costs to raise each child but he thinks it's extremely generous. I know I'm lucky he's not a dead beat but it amazes me how many men STEAL from women. They shaft women by stitching them up with the HUGE expense (to freedom and opportunity just as much) of raising children

EX P earns 27k a year and I get £200 a month - he has her two nights a week. It’s taken 3 years of separation to get to a point where I’m receiving any at all but I am happy with the amount I get.