Silly question - is child maintenance the only thing available?

[sandcastlesunshine]

Single parent to 2DC. Eldest going to High School this year. Uniform etc will cost £300 and bus fares etc will add about £60 to every month. (Plus new uniform for younger DC at about £150?).

Exh pays CM £20 a week. He doesn't buy any clothes, belongings, school dinners - well anything. He says he gives me enough money and I'm not getting a penny more. That £20 doesn't actually even pay for their school dinners.

Is it silly of me to think there is something out there that will enable me to ask that he contributes more to their lives?

[LowGravity]

I actually think the government should pay CM to RP's and recoup it from NRP's in the same way as income tax, this would mean NO child would go without. If they can't pay temporarily then debts accrue and have to be paid back regardless. Pretty sure if my child turned up at school and told his teachers he hadn't eaten for 3 days because mummy doesn't have any money left SS would be at my door in 5 minutes flat. The problem currently is there is no deterrent, no punishment, no consequences. This is only the UK though, plenty other countries dish out appropriate punishments, including prison sentences for non payers.

[LowGravity]

The point is though Bella the government shouldn't have to subsidize the children of men who choose to leave their jobs/work p/t, dodge tax/father a few more kids etc.Not when they are perfectly capable of working full time and paying for their own kids. If they're on MW and are NRP's then they have the luxury of being able to take on a second job, unlike RP's with children to care for.

[sorryho0p]

There's one person who's not getting it and it ain't me Bella ...

Figures though that you're children are adults. Out of touch ..

[HerRoyalNotness]

If he is in such low wages, how is he buying all these gadgets? Isn't there some kind of throng where you can apply for a review due to lifestyle. Can't remember what it's called sorry.

In Canada and perhaps the US, if a man deliberately leaves his job and earns less, he still has to pay the same amount of maintenance as he was on his previous income. I don't understand why these countries have more teeth in this matter and the UK govt doesn't seem to give much of a damn. I don't understand why men would choose to take a lower paying job either, spiting themselves really aren't they.

[Enchantedflamingo]

How can he just not pay the extra fiver a week? That's awful.

[sandcastlesunshine]

He gives me too much of his money already apparently.

And I spent the last year paying him back £3 a week that he had claimed was overpaid the previous year!

[Violetcharlotte]

Bella you've been very fortunate in that you were able to buy your council house at a discount so have low outgoings and are to work full time.

If you were paying a fortune to live in private rented accommodation, worked full time, yet still have to scrimp and save, I think you'd be feeling a lot more resentful towards non paying NRP.

[sandcastlesunshine]

Especially a NRP with such a lifestyle.

[itsbetterthanabox]

A single parent on 14k has to pay for a child- find childcare, work less so they can care for the child, feed them everyday, buy everything they use and use more electric and gas.
A NRP on 14k has very minimal costs if they have the child eow which is normal.
How don't you get that?
Not taking money from the NRP isn't being 'fiercely independent' it's you choosing to hurt the child rather than dent your own pride.

[Natsku]

I actually think the government should pay CM to RP's and recoup it from NRP's in the same way as income tax, this would mean NO child would go without

They really should, it astounds me that they don't. Where I live if the NRP is being difficult about paying CM then the state pays directly to the RP (up to a certain amount) and goes after the money from the NRP, charging interest for the time and effort taken to get it off them. My ex was on unemployment benefit and they took the extra child element straight off him and occasionally got a bit extra as interest for a couple of months I waited.

[BellaRed1]

I’m not the only one who thinks they way I do.

data.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/committeeevidence.svc/evidencedocument/work-and-pensions-committee/child-maintenance-services/written/39518.html

[Violetcharlotte]

Thanks Bella I'll forward that link to DS to help him understand why he can't have football boots

[itsbetterthanabox]

It's not like the money is going to the government it's not a tax.
It's to pay for their own children to live. Of course someone should sacrifice for their own kids. Why should only women have to sacrifice?