Since hearing myself & H are soon to live in separate houses, DS1's behaviour has been just awful.

[pinkchampagne]

I know it's to be expected, but I am finding it so hard to cope with.
He doesn't do what he is told for me, answers back, sulks & strops and generally just pushes the boundaries all the time.
He says things like "You are not the boss of this house, daddy is" when I try to discipline him.
I am really struggling with the boys atm. I feel I am losing my grip, and I am scared of managing on my own.

PC the acid test is his behaviour at school. Mine continued to behave perfectly there and to do outstanding good work. I am incredibly proud of all three of them in this and every time I go to a parents evening it reflects credit back on me as well as I have got them through this with minimal scars.

Take credit for their behaviour where you can. Take some time for yourself, get your hair cut and buy yourself something nice. Let them go somewhere else so that you can get a rest sometimes. It is important that they see you upset but also coping and strong. they need to know they can rely on you.

This is such a test of your parenting skills and a massive strain on you but I know you will get through this and we are all here. Know that it will end and they will return to normal but it will take time and give them the patience that their father is incapable of. Show them you are a better and braver person and that they can trust you and you will be fine I promise and so will they.

Oh dear - DS2 has definitely failed the acid test, GF. I had to sign the naughty book at nursery last week because he had hit another child with a plastic cone! They did say it wasn't like him though, which shocked me, because I would say that was very like him!

DS1 is ok with his behaviour at school, but he has a lots of dyspraxic tendencies, which results in his motivation being very poor (always has been), so his teachers do have problems with him. Not sure if this has got any worse as a result of all this, but I do have a lot of worries with him.

It is the hugest test of my parenting skills & sometimes I really feel I am failing big time. It is so hard to know the best way of dealing with all this, especially when my head feels fit to explode!

You sound like you have managed it all so well, GF. You really do sound a great mum!

God PC there have been times when I thought I was going absolutely mad and when they drove me into a decline but at the end of the day we are very similar in that we both love our kids above and beyond everything.

I only once broke down and my dad had to come and take them out for a day but there was so much else going on it was all horrible.

I think that is why I say take care of yourself in all of this because they depend on you. With a divorce plus house sale plus change and badly beaved kids it is more than one person ought to ever have to bear. Mine had hiddne extras as you know but at the end we are an incredibly tight foursome and no one or nothing will ever come change that.

I know they depend on me & I do try to be a good mum, but sometimes I fail.
I try not to cry in front of them & I try to reassure them, but sometimes I'm just useless.

Sat with DS1 tonight & gave him a hug. I asked if there was anything worrying him & he said that daddy had said he would take him camping & he was worried I wouldn't be there, because he loves me so much. Bless him.

Aw, PC that's lovely. Bless him

PC you are not failing at all, any Mum can shout I think you are doing a spect job and Im so jealous of you for that-honestly> I wish I could be as strong!

PC, your doing ok, I would have you as a Mum anyday-honest!

I cried in front of mine PC. I think then they knew that whatever had happened and whatever he had done to me I had loved my X and cared about our family.

THis is so tough and hard but you will get through it.

I try not to get emotional in front of the boys as it upsets them, especially DS1.

I am grateful for all the advice you have given me regarding how to deal with all this. What would I do without you lovely lot?!

Bubble - don't worry, I am fine & I am totally fine to have your girls on the 26th. They are no trouble & can help keep my boys in line!

PC my DGs are looking forwrd to 26th. DD2 has already decided what books shes bringing to read to DS thank you so much

Ahh bless! No problems at all, bubble.

Morning PC have a good weekend.

Morning GF.
Am off out with a friend today for lunch & retail therapy, minus the children!
When H gets back from seeing a mortgage advisor, he is taking the boys out somewhere with my dad, and I am off out on my own!
Hope you have a good w/e, glitter.

Sounds like a good day to me, Pinkchampagne - enjoy!

It was a good day, mamama.
Hope all is good with you.

Good weekend thanks PC hiya mamama.

X didnt turn up like last weekend frightening us all and refusing to speak when I went to the door and asked him what he wanted. Yawn emoticon he is so boring and immature and that is his good side.

You are well rid of him, GF!

I am home alone with the boys because Sunday is pub day for H.
It's DS2 who is driving me to distraction today! DS1 is not being too bad, other than screaming at his younger brother every 2 minutes for annoying him!

Thankfully things seem a bit calmer with DS1 atm. He still pushes a little, but has calmed down a lot from how he was last week.
It's DS2 that is being a monster now!

Good I am glad pc but it will be up and down I think for a while now.

I know, GF, and I have to expect that I guess. It is hard when you are not really on top form yourself, IYKWIM?
DS2 is driving me round the twist atm, for different reasons!

I am trying hard to be an ok mum though.

That is the best any of us can do pc but the rewards are great and whilst I sometimes beat myself up for not measruing up to the person I would like to be I recognise that my shortcomings are part of the personality which has been subdued for so many years by my X and which is at last being allowed room to breath.

And you have done so well, GF - I would love to have half of your strength!

Morning pinky how are you today? How are things going with you?

Hi GF - sorry I didn't see your message this morning, as work mornings are often chaotic in this house!

I am ok thanks. Got my paperwork through from last M appt yesterday & have had another kind of appt today.
Will have to send you an e mail soon & update you properly!
All ok with you?

Absolutely fine wil respond in an email but life is good at the moment thanks. AM really starting to relax and enjoy life with the kids and they are so much happier and calmer at the moment it is great.