Should I contact reluctant ex about contact with DS

[wonderstuff123]

Long story short, split with ex in 2014, his contact with DS (now 7) has been sporadic at best, even though he lives 20 min walk away. I think this year ex has seen DS 8 times (for approx an hour each time) and did video call him every few weeks, but that's dropped off now.

DS rarely mentions him and even then it's just in passing (that's where my daddy lives), when he does, I tentatively ask would he like to see him, and he always just answers "Maybe"

I'm in 2 minds about whether to contact ex to suggest seeing him before Christmas. I stopped pushing for contact after about a year of me suggesting times and days to meet up. bringing DS to him and then sometimes him cancelling. It was always me suggesting it. I don't know what he'd bring to DS's life if he did see him for Christmas.

It's always a difficult one. My DD (10) doesn't see her dad at all. He was very hot & cold with keeping things regular & contacting her & he's only 30mins away. I stopped making the effort to contact him because frankly, if he wanted to see her, he should make the move.

That was a year ago. No contact of any form. DD doesn't mention him, the one time she did she said "I know he's my dad, but if he isn't going to make an effort with me, why should I make an effort with him?" I think children understand more than we think as parents. We forever try & protect them when in reality, we can't. Little did I realise she was miserable when she was with him because he wouldn't pay attention to her, his wife did instead.

I'm a believer in if you want something, you'll fight for it. Otherwise, set it free.

I was similar with my ex but my child was much younger..I also think if they are not going to bother , the younger the better..Although obviously deciding to do the parenting is the better option.. you can't coerce him to do that..

I would leave it stop mentioning it to your DS.. see what happens...

I found the less I fought for my ex to step up the more I was able to support my DS without getting over emotional